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The Video Game Critic
Presents

My
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Paraphernalia

12/13/2015


I've been a Halo fan since I purchased my original Xbox in 2001. I recall becoming so engrossed in this torrid first-person shooter that I actually thought to myself "This is the only game I'll ever need!" I was so young and naive back then. Over the years I've stuck with the series through its highs and lows, amassing a sizeable collection of Halo-related junk - um I mean collectables! I've been meaning to put this page together for some time, and with the release of Halo 5 it felt like the time was right. Feel free to click on the images to view the lurid details.


Xbox Halo Edition (2001)

Now this is one beautiful system. It's identical to the original black Xbox model except with a transparent green shell and the Halo insignia on the right side. The matching model-s controller has the Halo logo in the center, and I use it all the time. Originally I planned to keep this system boxed up as a collector's item, but after going through several Xboxes it became my working Xbox by default. This console has served me well over the years and has looked damned good in the process.

Purchase this green Halo Xbox on eBay, Amazon

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Halo 2 Mini Vehicles (2005)

My friend Scott gave me these two Hot Wheels-sized Halo vehicles in the mid-2000's, probably just because he's such a nice guy. I've displayed them proudly on my game room shelf ever since. The green one is the Warthog and the yellow one is just called "the Hog". I kept their placards and photographed them so you can read about the boring - I mean fascinating - vehicle specifications.

Purchase these Halo 2 vehicles on eBay, Amazon

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Halo Pen

This is another gift from my old friend Scott - may God rest his soul. Oh wait, he's not dead yet! Anyway this has got to be, without a doubt, the best pen ever made. The design is so elegant with the silver trim and inscribed Halo logo. Each time you press a tiny button the pen glows in a different color, including green, red, and blue. Best of all, on the fourth press it gradually cycles through all the colors. The pen no longer writes but it looks amazing and that's what counts.

Purchase the Halo Pen on eBay, Amazon

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Xbox 360 Halo 3 Edition (2007)

I was so cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs over Halo 3 I actually ran out and purchased this Xbox 360 Halo 3 Edition. Can you believe it? You have to admit it looks pretty badass with that weathered green shell and shiny orange trim. The system came with a puke-green controller which is probably the most hideous thing I've ever seen in my life. Since this console is one of the original, error-prone 360 models (read: red ring of death) I prefer to keep it boxed up.

Purchase the Xbox 360 Halo 3 Edition on eBay, Amazon

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Halo 3 Controllers (2007)

This artistic set of controllers was released around the time of Halo 3. Designed by Todd McFarlane, one has a Spartan theme and the other the Convenant. Normal Xbox 360 controllers are pretty boring, so these really stand out with their colorful, vibrant artwork. Whenever I hand this controller to somebody they are always amazed, as they should be.

Purchase the Xbox 360 Halo 3 Controllers on eBay, Amazon

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Halo 3 Legendard Edition Helmet (2007)

If you're a reasonable person you're probably wondering what the purpose of this hideous monstrosity would be. Well, it's a model of Master Chief's helmet that sits precariously on a cheap plastic stand. Why in the [expletive] did I buy this thing? Well, it came with the Halo 3 "Legendary Edition", and I'm a sucker. The helmet is nicely detailed with a shiny visor, and you can store two games inside the stand. The helmet isn't large enough to wear but it is large enough to take up a considerable amount of space! My wife thinks this looks creepy and was scared the first time she saw it. Suffice to say I'd only recommend this item to the most ardent Halo collectors with questionable taste.

Purchase the Halo 3 Helmet on eBay, Amazon

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Xbox Halo Reach Edition (2010)

Wait a minute - I bought another Halo-themed console?! Okay, this is just embarrassing. Oh well, at least I had a good reason for picking this one up. You may remember that in 2009/2010 Xbox 360 systems started going belly-up at an alarming rate (see: red ring of death). I figured my Halo 3 Edition 360 had one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel, so I upgraded to this new, reengineered slim Reach edition. I hoped Microsoft had learned their lesson and that appears to be the case, as this has been my regular 360 ever since. One interesting feature is how when you hit the power or eject buttons it makes a sound effect like a shield recharging. Also notable is the fact that this console came with not one but two controllers!

Purchase the Xbox 360 Halo Reach edition on eBay, Amazon

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Halo Mini Figures

These are two cool little action figures and I wish I could remember where the heck I got them from. I'm tempted to say I got one from some special edition of a Halo game. The other one was probably given to me by Scott, who tends to give me Halo stuff at random. Anyway these guys are tiny but super detailed. I just wish I had a few Convenant forces for them to shoot at.

Purchase these Halo mini action figures on eBay, Amazon

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Halo 2600 Cartridge (2010)

I bet I caught of a lot of you off-guard with this one. Whenever somebody sees this on my shelf they're like "Is that...?" and I'm like "Yeah!" and they're like "Whaaaaa...?" and I'm like "I know right?!" Someone actually made a Halo game for the Atari 2600 a few years ago! It wasn't a serious project but the game plays quite nicely. Below is my original review.

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screenshot This new 2600 game is a technical marvel - probably the best video game ever crammed into a meager 4KB of memory! Equally impressive is how it ingeniously translates the classic Xbox first-person shooter into a riveting 2D experience. Halo 2600 begins with a nifty title screen that even recreates the ominous theme song. The game itself employs an Adventure-style engine that lets you move between contiguous screens. Your pixelated Master Chief looks great as he scuttles around and engages in shootouts with gangs of ruthless aliens. He can only fire left or right, but aliens can fire in any direction and their bullets whizz by at high velocity. Fortunately the responsive controls make it possible to dodge bullets and slip through crossfire situations. Your foes come in a remarkable variety of shapes and sizes, and even in low resolution you'll recognize many familiar alien species. The landscape is sparse but there are scattered trees, generators, and cannons. A critical power-up is available for your gun, shield icons provide one-hit protection, and you can find special boots that let you run twice as fast. It's tempting to dismiss Halo 2600 as a clever novelty, but this is one of the more addictive and intense titles I've played on the system. There's plenty of technique involved, although memorization helps too. Destroying the oversized boss sends the game into "legendary mode". Unfortunately, the only difference is that you move much slower, prompting my friends to deem it "molasses mode". Lacking randomization, scoring, and a password feature, Halo 2600 comes up short in terms of replay value. Still, the frantic action is great fun while it lasts. This makes you wonder how other modern franchises might fare on the 2600. Grade: B+

Thanks for reading about my Halo Collection! Sorry it took me 10 years to write, Scott!