One Sentence N64 Reviews

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LoganRuckman
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Joined: April 10th, 2015, 1:04 am

One Sentence N64 Reviews

Postby LoganRuckman » June 8th, 2015, 12:31 pm

I decided to try something different that you might like, or you might hate. I don't know, but I'm gonna try it anyway.

Super Mario 64- Greatest platformer of all time, no contest. A+

The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time- Groundbreaking game that brought the series into 3D and expanded the narrative. A+

The Legend Of Zelda: Majora's Mask- Dark, emotional, and better than its predecessor. A+

Pokemon Stadium- Fun game that gave us a 3D Pokemon game, but no training or adventure is a bit of a turnoff. B+

Buck Bumble- Really fun, but less than perfect controls, and obviously inferior to Star Fox 64. B

WWF Attitude- Fun wrestling game, but there are better options, even on the N64. B-

South Park- Decent FPS, nothing special, but nothing terrible, either. C

Glover- Tons of potential, but awful controls. D+

Hey You, Pikachu- Very innovative, but incredibly boring, and Pikachu doesn't listen to a thing you say, easily the worst Pokemon game I've ever played. F-

So, what do you think? Should I do more one sentence reviews in the future, or is this an idea that should be cancelled after the pilot?

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scotland
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Re: One Sentence N64 Reviews

Postby scotland » June 8th, 2015, 12:57 pm

I think a sentence should be a sentence, and not a collection of dependent clauses. I prefer absolute adjectives instead of relative ones. The review should not reference another game, but should mention the type of game. I think your reviews assume too much about the readers knowledge.

For instance, Iike the Super Mario 64 saying its a platformer. Using a superlative like greatest is okay. The Ocarina review is wholly relative to knowing all about the Zelda franchise. If you don't know Star Fox 64, then your Buck review has no meaning. The WWF says there are better options, but rather say there are games with better (something) on the N64. The Glover review...is it about Danny Glover, Glover the Glouch, what?

You can do a lot in one sentence. See Bulwar Lytton awards.

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ptdebate
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Re: One Sentence N64 Reviews

Postby ptdebate » June 8th, 2015, 2:40 pm

scotland wrote:You can do a lot in one sentence. See Bulwar Lytton awards.


*You can do a lot of damage in one sentence. See Bulwar Lytton awards. ;)

I would try to focus on your immediate, visceral reaction and try to really capture the essence of the experience. What you seem to be doing here, however, is just condensing the discussion that surrounds these games--"greatest platformer of all time"--into a sentence that comes off as very tired. What was your subjective experience with the game? What made it distinctive to you personally?

For example, for Bubsy 3D:

"A very lazy programmer decided to make a videogame about what it would be like to inhabit the dreams of Mark Rothko if Mark Rothko were a furry." F

Or for Final Fantasy VII:

"I named myself Glenda and crossdressed and then went on a date with a guy with a gun for an arm and then raced Big Bird against other Big Birds and then used the power of love to save the environment from an evil test tube baby who's really sour on humanity." A

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Rev
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Re: One Sentence N64 Reviews

Postby Rev » June 8th, 2015, 6:08 pm

ptdebate wrote:For example, for Bubsy 3D:

"A very lazy programmer decided to make a videogame about what it would be like to inhabit the dreams of Mark Rothko if Mark Rothko were a furry." F


That's hilarious.

I really like the ideas that ptedebate gave as well as scotland. If you're going to write a one sentence review make it stand out. Give specific references or something that uniquely captures the game.

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scotland
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Re: One Sentence N64 Reviews

Postby scotland » June 8th, 2015, 8:57 pm

I'll give one a go:

You and three friends can zoom like stoned hipsters through Peabody's Improbable Geographies in shiny German commuter cars with 'nice wheels', crashing through train crossings and catching air, with easy controls and groovy music. B+

Name that game? (highlight below)

Beetle Adventure Racing

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ptdebate
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Re: One Sentence N64 Reviews

Postby ptdebate » June 8th, 2015, 10:10 pm

scotland wrote:I'll give one a go:

You and three friends can zoom like stoned hipsters through Peabody's Improbable Geographies in shiny German commuter cars with 'nice wheels', crashing through train crossings and catching air, with easy controls and groovy music. B+

Name that game? (highlight below)

Beetle Adventure Racing


My gut instinct was Crazy Taxi. Good one though! And good game.

Here's mine.

"Under the sea, under the sea; everything's better down where the stronger prey on the weak!" A-

SigSauerLover
Posts: 167
Joined: April 8th, 2015, 5:51 pm

Re: One Sentence N64 Reviews

Postby SigSauerLover » June 8th, 2015, 10:39 pm

Guess this game!

You roam around freely and shoot aliens that are invading in different time periods.

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ptdebate
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Re: One Sentence N64 Reviews

Postby ptdebate » June 9th, 2015, 10:05 am

SigSauerLover wrote:Guess this game!

You roam around freely and shoot aliens that are invading in different time periods.



Time Splitters?

Hey Hardcore--don't give the answer away in your sentence!

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DaHeckIzDat
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Joined: April 9th, 2015, 1:41 pm

Re: One Sentence N64 Reviews

Postby DaHeckIzDat » June 9th, 2015, 12:55 pm

I don't play a lot of N64 games, so here's the only one I've got:
"A classic, sometimes called the greatest game ever made, but while it has aged very well for the most part the controls are rather stiff and frustrating in certain areas."

So yeah... try and guess.

SigSauerLover
Posts: 167
Joined: April 8th, 2015, 5:51 pm

Re: One Sentence N64 Reviews

Postby SigSauerLover » June 9th, 2015, 1:27 pm

Nope, not time splitters. Good guess though!


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