Frog Bog INTV

[Leo1]

Stephen, it's your review and I don't want to intrude. But if it's helpful and I may, I think you didn't really address the issues the Critic was mentioning (I actually didn't even notice any changes?). 
 
My grammar isn't the strongest, but for example, all the nouns should be capitalized. You've done it to some, but there are many that haven't been properly capitalized (There are instances of Frogs and Flies, Intellivision, Frog Bog, and Goodwill that I noticed after a quick scan of your review that have to be properly capitalized). Besides just being incorrect, the inconsistency from just doing it half the time makes the review look awful.
 
And you're supposed to put a space after punctuation, just like the Critic said. Quoted below is a small portion of your review to use as an example.
 
"...Atari 2600 games of all time,so I was curious to see how frog bog would do on the intellivision.But..."
 
It should look more like the following (With Frog Bog and Intellivision also capitalized).
 
"...Atari 2600 games of all time, so I was curious to see how Frog Bog would do on the Intellivision. But..."
 
There are a few other mistakes (You didn't spell Intellivision correctly once, for instance), but just addressing those two issues I think would turn this into a nice review. You're doing your work a disservice by not doing those two easy things. Makes it just look sloppy and easy to dismiss as junk, despite it actually being a good review.

Hope that was helpful
-Leo

[Stephen]

Frogs and flies was one of the most fun Atari 2600 games of all time,so I was curious to see how Frog Bog would do on the Intellivision. But when you compare the two,it's obvious that the Atari 2600's frogs and flies is the clear winner.

The first thing you notice is that the graphics are definitely improved. The backround scenery is colorful and rich. The flies are very detailed (unlike the simple "dots" in Frogs and Flies on the Atari 2600). I would even go as far to call this "Intellivision eye-candy".

Sadly,where this version seems to fail is the most important aspect of a video game,the controls! Unlike the clean,responsive controls of Frogs and Flies,the controls of Frog Bog feel stiff and delayed. And it's really difficult to find a comfortable way to hold the Intellivision controller. So that doesn't help matters either!

I must also address the buttons on the keypad. You have three buttons on the bottom,which basically control how high,or how low you jump. But I suggest you don't press them,since flies rarely fly lower. Besides all you ever end up accomplishing is jumping into the freaking water!

But this game is still an Intellivision classic,even if frogs and flies is better.

It may not be worth going on eBay and spending 15 dollars,but if you ever see it laying in a Goodwill bin for a couple bucks,it's worth it just to have if you want some mild fun.

If you've never played Frogs and Flies on the Atari 2600,bump up the grade by one letter.
 
C-

[Leo1]

That's closer, but there are still some of both of those mistakes in there (Check out the third word in the opening sentence, for example, of something that should be capitalized but isn't).

And you're still not putting spaces in like you should. You're not supposed to just use a space only after a word or a period. There should be a space after every comma, just like I showed you in that earlier post and just like I did throughout this post of mine.

Also, I've taken the liberty of capitalizing Bog in the thread title for you. It makes it look a bit better and forms a better first impression on any readers that may check out your review. Grammar mistakes in a thread title are a turn-off since people will be expecting more of the same when they open up the post.

-Leo

[Stephen]

Frogs and Flies was one of the most fun Atari 2600 games of all time, so I was curious to see how Frog Bog would do on the Intellivision. But when you compare the two, it's obvious that the Atari 2600's Frogs and Flies is the clear winner.
 
The first thing you notice is that the graphics are definitely improved. The backround scenery is colorful and rich. The flies are very detailed (unlike the simple "dots" in Frogs and Flies on the Atari 2600). I would even go as far to call this "intellivsion eye-candy".

Sadly,where this version seems to fail is the most important aspect of a video game, the controls! Unlike the clean, responsive controls of Frogs and Flies,the controls of Frog Bog feel stiff and delayed. And it's really difficult to find a comfortable way to hold the Intellivision controller. So that doesn't help matters either!

I must also address the buttons on the keypad. You have three buttons on the bottom,which basically control how high, or how low you jump. But I suggest you don't press them,since flies rarely fly lower. Besides all you ever end up accomplishing is jumping into the freaking water!

But this game is still an Intellivision classic, even if Frogs and Flies is better.

It may not be worth going on eBay and spending 15 dollars, but if you ever see it laying in a goodwill bin for a couple bucks, it's worth it just to have if you want some mild fun.

If you've never played Frogs and Flies on the Atari 2600, bump up the grade by one letter.
 
C-

[Marriott_Guy1]

Hey Stephen.

We all appreciate your efforts, but I would recommend taking a little more time in addressing the grammatical errors.  Leo's posts were spot on and could be very helpful to your review if you took the time to amend your article. 

You have some good content, but I won't regurgitate what has already stated in your latest offering.  Keep plugging away gamer.

Terry

[VideoGameCritic]

...and be sure to remember the old adage: "Eighth time's a charm!"

[Stephen]

Frogs and Flies was one of the most fun Atari 2600 games of all time, so I was curious to see how Frog Bog would do on the Intellivision. But when you compare the two, it's obvious that the Atari 2600's Frogs and Flies is the clear winner.
 
The first thing you notice is that the graphics are definitely improved. The backround scenery is colorful and rich. The flies are very detailed (unlike the simple "dots" in Frogs and Flies on the Atari 2600). I would even go as far to call this "Intellivision eye-candy".

Sadly, where this version seems to fail is the most important aspect of a video game, the controls! Unlike the clean, responsive controls of Frogs and Flies, the controls of Frog Bog feel stiff and delayed. And it's really difficult to find a comfortable way to hold the Intellivision controller. So that doesn't help matters, either!

I must also address the buttons on the keypad. You have three buttons on the bottom, which basically control how high, or how low, you jump. But I suggest you don't press them, since flies rarely fly lower. Besides, all you ever end up accomplishing is jumping into the freaking water!

But this game is still an Intellivision classic, even if Frogs and Flies is better.

It may not be worth going on eBay and spending 15 dollars, but if you ever see it laying in a Goodwill bin for a couple bucks, it's worth it just to have if you want some mild fun.

If you've never played Frogs and Flies on the Atari 2600, bump up the grade by one letter.
 
C-

[Leo1]

Looks good.

[VideoGameCritic]

When Leo gives the thumbs-up, it has to be good.

I promoted this one to the review pages.  Thanks Stephen!