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Name This Game
Grade: D
Publisher: US Games (1982)
Reviewed: 2009/6/24

screenshotThis bizarre cartridge was released around the time of the video game crash of '83, and it gives some insight into just how disposable video games were considered at the time. The full name of this cartridge is "Name This Game and Win $10,000". This goes beyond tacky. This is "guess your age" carnival stuff. It's the freakshow of video games, and a permanent scar on US Games. How many people even remember the game itself? You play a diver swimming above the ocean floor with a huge black octopus and menacing sharks preventing you from returning to your boat. Dude, you are in a world of hurt! Your buddy on the surface occasionally drops down an oxygen line, but most of the time he's too busy goofing off! Just look at him clowning around in your boat! The pixelated octopus has tentacles that "grow" towards you and these must be shot off. Chomping sharks move side-to-side down the screen (one at a time), and they are rendered nicely. You can fire rapidly at the sea creatures above, and I'd strongly advise holding down the fire button. This game may not sound bad, but there's minimal strategy and the gameplay is monotonous to say the least! Name This Game is just plain lousy, and all the gimmicks in the world couldn't help it. © Copyright 2009 The Video Game Critic.
Recommended variation: 5A
Our high score: VGC 8,220


Nexar
Grade: D+
Publisher: Spectravision (1982)
Reviewed: 1999/11/20

screenshotHere's a fast-paced space shooter that's fun at first but wears thin in a hurry. Horizontal lines in the background cycle through colors, producing the hypnotic illusion of forward motion. Enemies that resemble Tie fighters emerge from the center of the screen and fly towards the outer edge. Nexar's unique control scheme allows you to use a cursor to direct your shots. Should your cursor collide with an enemy (or an enemy explosion), you lose a life. Clearing the stage requires destroying a certain number of boxes within 90 seconds. Nexar is entertaining for a while, but as the stages progress, the action gets out of hand and your slow-ass cursor simply can't keep up. You end up shooting wildly and just hoping for the best. © Copyright 1999 The Video Game Critic.


Night Driver
Grade: B
Publisher: Atari (1980)
Reviewed: 2009/3/3

screenshotNight Driver the first racing game to really put you into the drivers seat, and in 1980, the concept was nothing short of revolutionary. Two sets of moving posts are surprisingly effective at conveying the illusion of speeding down a winding country road at night. Unlike the original black and white arcade game, this full-color Atari 2600 version features oncoming cars and roadside scenery in the form of houses and trees. There are three 90-second courses of increasing difficulty, along with a "random" track. The advanced tracks offer a nice sense of risk/reward, since you have to periodically slow down in anticipation of hairpin turns. Crashing into a post causes the screen to flash, accompanied by a resonating explosion sound. As one of my first Atari 2600 games, Night Driver brings back a lot of childhood memories. I remember my dad playing this and laughing himself to tears whenever he crashed repeatedly. I also recall my sister and I taking the paddle controllers in the car with us during trips so we could steer from the back seat. My main beef with Night Driver has to do with its lousy graphics. Whoever programmed this was no artist - that's for sure. I'd like to think that he never intended to have that dumb-looking "car" on the bottom of the screen for the final cut, but just never got around to fixing it. The round, oncoming blue cars look a heck of a lot like Grover from Sesame Street, and that's disturbing. I also noticed a minor glitch that causes the screen to jump on occasion, but it's not a big deal. Although graphically challenged, the sheer playability of this game impresses the hell out of me to this day. Night Driver also contains some "no time limit" variations, which I recommend to drug-addicted players who just want to zone out to this game all night long. © Copyright 2009 The Video Game Critic.
Recommended variation: 4AA
Our high score: VGC 72
1 player 


No Escape!
Grade: B-
Publisher: Imagic (1983)
Reviewed: 2009/3/3

screenshotIf nothing else, No Escape gets credit for sheer originality. Its gameplay is unlike anything you've ever seen in the past, or future for that matter. You control Jason the Argonaut, moving across the floor of a Greek temple while attempting to destroy mythical "fury" monsters flying overhead. You can hurl stones upward (and guide them to a degree), but there's a catch - you can't strike the furies directly. No, that causes them to regenerate, and that's no good at all. Instead, the idea is to knock loose the colorful bricks that make up the roof of the temple, causing them to fall onto the furies below. It's an interesting twist - a "reverse shooter" of sorts. It doesn't provide for much precision, but I like how you can knock out two or three blocks at a time and make it rain like Pac-Man Jones baby (aww yeeah!) Don't get careless though - the blocks can also crush your Greek ass. No Escape incorporates wave after wave of imaginative, high-resolution creatures rendered in an array of bright colors. For the life of me, I couldn't tell you what most of those things are supposed to be, but it's always interesting to see what the next wave has in store. One thing that annoys me about No Escape is the cheap hits. The furies tend to hover about one millimeter above your head, dispensing fireballs at point-blank range. When they begin moving erratically in later waves, skill rapidly gives way to luck. One astute reader explained that you can exert some degree of influence on the fury movements by holding in the fire button. He's right, but this is a very limited, funky sort of control that only advanced players will be able to use to their benefit. Still, No Escape provides a nice break from the typical shooters and maze games. It also gets credit for its nifty little ending depicting Jason flying off on his Pegasus. © Copyright 2009 The Video Game Critic.
Recommended variation: 1A
1 or 2 players 


Ocean City Defender
Grade: NA
Publisher: Zellers (1983)
Reviewed: 2003/9/14

screenshotOcean City Defender is nothing but a rip-off of Atlantis (Imagic) with slightly modified graphics. The new saucer-like designs of the ships and underwater buildings look really cheesy - a big step down from the original game. The one interesting aspect of Ocean City Defender is the cartridge label. It features a 1950s-era robot shooting lightning from its hands, and a metallic Lock Ness monster being ridden by a skinny robot. Weird! To be honest, the only reason I picked this up this piece of crap is because the title reminded me of my favorite vacation spot, Ocean City, Maryland. © Copyright 2003 The Video Game Critic.


Off The Wall
Grade: C
Publisher: Atari (1989)
Reviewed: 2001/4/1

screenshotAs one of the last games created for the 2600, most gamers are unaware of Off The Wall, but it's probably just as well. It was Atari's attempt to modernize the classic game Breakout by updating the graphics with an Asian theme and loading it with power-ups. Using a joystick (no paddles - rats!) you move a guy across the bottom of the screen, deflecting a ball towards a colorful wall. A black bird flies in front of the wall, and he can block your shots as well as deflect the ball back towards the wall. The bird also drops some useful power-ups, like the "bomb" that lets you blow out a large chunk of the wall. Another handy power-up allows you to "steer" the ball, making it easier to clear those last few bricks. There are also power-ups make your life harder, such as the one that makes the ball travel faster. A "red dragon" dances on top of the wall, but it looks more like a big red caterpillar and only serves as an easy way to score bonus points. Off The Wall is less tedious than Breakout, but it's also too easy. Another problem is the annoying 10-second pause before each new ball is released. What's that all about? Off the Wall is respectable as a one-player game, but the two-player mode is lousy. Both players have to share the same wall, and the scoring system is totally unfair. © Copyright 2001 The Video Game Critic.
1 or 2 players 


Oink!
Grade: F
Publisher: Activision (1983)
Reviewed: 2001/5/14

screenshotIn this rare misstep from Activision, you control three little pigs trying to protect their houses from a wolf. Controlling one pig at a time, you move him around the interior of his house, grabbing bricks and placing them in holes made by the wolf below. Should a hole become too large, you're bacon. Each pig introduces a new style of house (straw, wood, brick) but they all play the same. Oink's graphics are actually quite good, with large, detailed characters. But the game suffers from a serious lack of fun. Going back and forth carrying bricks to the biggest hole is mind-numbing and hard on the wrist. With little variety or strategy, you may find yourself rooting for the wolf. © Copyright 2001 The Video Game Critic.
1 or 2 players 


Omega Race
Grade: B-
Publisher: CBS (1983)
Reviewed: 2006/3/29

screenshotUnlike so many other Atari 2600 arcade translations, this one isn't a cupcake version. Omega Race's single game variation provides a degree of challenge that will have you hitting that reset button over and over again. Gameplay involves thrusting a triangular ship around an enclosed, rectangular "track" littered with missile-firing, mine-laying enemies. What's cool about the game is how your ship caroms off the walls, letting you finely adjusting your line of fire while remaining a moving target. It's fun to be reckless, but easy to collide with stationary objects scattered around the screen. Omega Race isn't the prettiest game in the world, but then again the arcade original (rendered in single-colored vector graphics) was no beauty either. Here, the objects are rendered in dull colors, and the flicker is pretty bad. Omega Race does have one interesting gimmick, and that is the inclusion of a special hardware attachment to add two extra buttons (thrust and fire) to the standard Atari joystick. Why CBS felt the need for this device is beyond me. The same functionality could have been achieved using Asteroids-style controls, where you simply push forward to thrust. It's not a big deal, but be aware that this device is required to play the game. © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.
1 or 2 players 


Othello
Grade: B
Publisher: Atari (1981)
Reviewed: 1999/8/24

screenshotUnlike Atari's Chess, this classic board game (often called Reversi) provides an enjoyable and thought-provoking diversion. It's played by laying black and white squares on a checker board, trying to capture as much of the board as you can. Othello is simple to learn but tough to master. The secret to winning seems to lie in controlling the edges and corners, something the computer player tends to be quite proficient at. Three skill levels are provided along with a two-player variation. Each contest is quick, which encourages you to hit the reset switch for "just one more game". Othello's graphics and sound may be minimal, but they do the job. © Copyright 1999 The Video Game Critic.
1 or 2 players 


Outlaw
Grade: C
Publisher: Atari (1978)
Reviewed: 2002/1/23

screenshotIt's hard to be critical of Outlaw, considering it's such an old favorite. This simple shoot-out game features large, slow, blocky cowboys. You can shoot at three different angles, with ricochets adding to the strategy. But what really makes Outlaw interesting are variations with cactus, covered wagons, and moving walls. There are even a few one-player target-shooting variations that are harder than they look! For an early Atari cartridge this isn't bad. © Copyright 2002 The Video Game Critic.
1 or 2 players 


Oystron
Grade: B+
Publisher: Hozer (1998)
Reviewed: 2001/11/19

screenshotWhat a surprise this game was. When I first played it, I was like, "what the heck is going on"? After an hour, I was still playing and my thumb was getting sore. Despite its goofy name, Oystron is no joke. While it may look like a simple shoot-em-up, there is subtle strategy involved. You control a ship on the left side of the screen that can fire both left and right. Objects approach from the right, including "space oysters" which you can blast open to reveal pearls. Collecting eight pearls earns you a bomb. After a certain period of time, a boss emerges, which can only be destroyed by one of those bombs. After you take him out (not too tough), you're thrust into a fast-paced "warp phase". Oystron provides fast, non-stop shooting action, and it's very challenging. My main beef is that the stages tend to run a bit too long. But overall, this is a real gem. © Copyright 2001 The Video Game Critic.



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