VIDEO GAME MANIA 8

How it all went down

PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF MARYLAND, December 6, 2008: It's official: VGM8 was the wildest, most competitive video game tournament ever held. Had the players been brandishing swords instead of controllers, nobody would have been left standing, and the clean-up would have been a bitch!

It began quietly enough as VGMs tend to. The first few players filtered in at noon and began sizing up the diverse game selection. The games used for VGM8 ranged from oldies like Q*bert and Dragonfire, to more modern fare like Call of Duty 4 and Wii Fit Skiing.

The more games that were played, and the more points tallied, the more intense the competition became. By the time 4PM rolled around, the testosterone and alcohol had fully kicked in, which was evident by the constant yelling, trash talking, and obscene gestures.

The game I selected for the playoffs (and finals) was Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe (Xbox 360). This was a bold move, as the game was brand new and largely untested. Fortunately it was a big hit. Watching the players slug it out seemed a fitting way to settle the tournament, and no player had any real advantage.

In the end the honorable George emerged as the victor, which was extra sweet considering he had fallen short in so many previous VGMs. It wasn't easy however, as he had to side-step quite a few landmines during his playoff run, and was forced to orchestrate an amazing comeback to snag the championship.

By the time it was over, George's spectacular performance catapulted his gaming status from marginal to legendary. Has his newfound fame gone to head? Well, he made the runner-up wash his car, and he now only answers to "King George", so I think the answer is yes.

Click here to read about the Competitors of VGM8

Click here to read about the Games of VGM8

Click here to view the Photos of VGM8

The stout man with the tiny trophy,
the medium-sized man with the medium-sized trophy,
and the skinny man with the huge trophy.

Mildly Amusing Quotes
Overheard At Video Game Mania 8

"Strange game. The best move is not to play."
- Hawk's opinion of Dragon's Lair, a game that nobody could seem to figure out.

"Eric, put a little something into it! Jesus, you throw like a [expletive] pansy!"
- Overhead during the Boom Blox competition.

Hawk: "Hey Scott, remember the high score you had in Dragonfire?"
Scott: "Had?!"
Hawk: "Yeah - remember it!"

"Okay, I've had enough of this wrap-around bull-[expletive]!"
- Matt, while playing Nick in NHL 94.

Shawn N (holding bills): "Hey Dave, how much would a couple of red marks cost me?"
Dave: "Meet me in the back room, big boy"

Dave: "How are we going to break the second place tie in Millipede?"
Hawk: "There's only one way to settle this! Austrailian d**k wrestling!
Matt: "No wait, you're getting confused with Video Gay Mania.

"Okay, who took my bike?"
- Overhead during a MK Vs. DC loading screen of an enraged Superman.

"We're going to have a long talk about this when we get home, young man."
- Scott, after his son Nick knocked him out of the playoffs.

"That was effective."
- Overhead during the playoff round after Steve's Joker performed a little dance and proceeded to get pulverized.

Dave: "These two guys have never done it!"
Mark: "With each other!"

"Who brought the t*ts to this party?"
- Overhead during a playoff match-up featuring Wonder Woman.

"Remember, second place is the first loser!"

"BRIDES-MAID! BRIDES-MAID! BRIDES-MAID!"
Onlookers taunting George during his legendary playoff run.

"That's the last time you call me Flash, b***h!"
- George, after his Flash character defeated Wonder Woman in the finals.

Return to The Video Game Critic's Main Page.


© Copyright 1999-2008 The Video Game Critic. The reviews presented on this site are intellectual property and are copyrighted. Any reproduction without the expressed written consent of the author is strictly prohibited. Anyone reproducing the site's copyrighted material improperly can be prosecuted in a court of law. Please report any instances of infringement to the site administrator.