Fantastic Voyage is based on the cheesy 1966 film about a ship that's shrunk down and injected into some poor chump. This vertical shooter has you traveling through the patient's bloodstream, blasting bacteria, blood clots, and other nasty junk. The shooting action isn't half bad, and it has a certain River Raid vibe (although it lacks the personality of that classic). The passageway occasionally collapses unpredictably, and a beeping heart monitor adds suspense as you attempt to reach the end of the stage before the patient croaks. Certain obstacles like bacteria "break down" when shot, requiring several shots to eliminate them. Fantastic Voyage seems impossible to play until you realize that you're not
supposed to shoot the blood cells, which resemble asteroids shaped like the number eight. If you weave around them instead, the game suddenly becomes a lot
easier. Sadly, the instructions are not only hard to come by, but they are incorrect
as well! The manual mistakenly identifies the blood cells as clotlets
, adding to the confusion. The graphics are well defined but kind of drab. An ever-present heart monitor adds drama, but why does it quicken
as the patient nears death? I'm no doctor, but shouldn't it slow down?
Fantastic Voyage is less than fantastic, but it is a playable shooter if you know what you're doing. Unfortunately, figuring out how to play the [expletive] thing is half the battle. © Copyright 2010 The Video Game Critic.
Recommended variation: 9
Our high score: 5:11
Publisher: Mythicon (1983)
You have to love how even the worst
Atari 2600 games managed to include elaborate background stories in their instruction booklets. The premise behind Fire Fly is that a space pilot testing a high-speed interplanetary craft skips off the rim of a black hole. Upon regaining consciousness, he finds himself in a mysterious world ruled by insects that are half-machine. I could delve even further, but there's no point because the story has absolutely nothing
to do with this pathetic game. Fire Fly is utterly reprehensible in every way and practically unplayable. You control a free-moving blinking object that doesn't resemble much of anything. Moving from screen to screen, you shoot at evil pumpkins, demons, bats, and hydras. I can name these enemies because I looked in the manual, not because I could identify those sloppy, pixilated objects on the screen. Fire Fly's control is atrocious, the animation is jerky, and the non-stop background noise is unbearable! Of all the games in my Atari 2600 collection, this may well be the most worthless. © Copyright 2004 The Video Game Critic.
Recommended variation: 2
Our high score: 1800
Publisher: Starpath/Arcadia (1982)
Recommended variation: Firetrap B
Our high score: 2,467
1 or 2 players
Publisher: Activision (1980)
This ingenious game was created by David Crane, the man who later programmed the legendary Pitfall
(Activision, 1982). Nowadays we take our fishing games for granted, but back in 1980 Fishing Derby was quite the novel concept. Two fishermen sit on docks on opposite sides of the screen, and by adjusting your line with the joystick, you attempt to hook one of the many fishes swimming below. Deeper fish are worth more points but require more effort to reel in. The fire button lets you reel in your fish quickly, and timing is key to avoiding the shark prowling along the surface, ready to snatch up anything in his vicinity. Fishing Derby's graphics are very good. The fish look like fish, the shark looks like a shark, and the rednecks look like rednecks. Fishing Derby doesn't offer much replay value for the solo player, but it does provide some terrific (and sometimes hilarious) head-to-head action. © Copyright 2004 The Video Game Critic.
Recommended variation: 2AA
1 or 2 players
Publisher: Atari (1978)
Flag Capture is kind of a blase blah game, but if you need motivation to play just check out its swashbuckling box cover. Never before has Atari overpromised so much through its packaging - and that's saying a lot
. My original Flag Capture review was dismissive, but now that I've done my due diligence I can attest that Flag Capture is positively mediocre. When released in 1978 people didn't really expect much so the guess-where-the-flag-is gameplay seemed reasonable. Flag Capture is primarily a two-player game. Both players hunt around a grid - either taking turns or at the same time. Certain blocks reveal bombs that send you back to your starting corner. Others reveal clues like arrows or numbers indicating your distance from the flag. For two evenly-matched players Flag Capture can be fun. The single player action is less compelling, as you're trying to capture the flag as many times as you can in 75 seconds. The variations that have the flag moving behind the scenes will drive you into madness. I wish this game were more pirate-y. Flag Capture is worth pulling out when you have a friend over, but mainly to show him the box art. © Copyright 2020 The Video Game Critic.
Recommended variation: 8B
Our high score: 10
1 or 2 players
Publisher: Fox (1982)
Our high score: 98,680
Publisher: Atari (1978)
In my circle of friends, this classic cartridge will always be known as "trash can football" due to its ridiculous, blocky players. Yes, the graphics are really awful - no two ways about it. The teams are two sets of flickering "trash cans" moving slowly around a tiny, vertical field. But what's truly amazing about Football is that it's actually fun
to play - and often hilarious. The football is a little black square. When hiked, the quarterback can either run the ball, or pass and guide it down the field. Unrealistic for sure, but it works great. You can also punt, but there are no field goals (extra points are automatic). The play selection is limited, but there's plenty of room for improvisation. Exhibiting incredible foresight, the programmer included a visible line showing where you need to get to for a first down. It took 20 more years for TV to invent that! By stripping down the game of football to its bare essentials, Atari inadvertently created a game more entertaining than many modern
football titles. © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.
Publisher: Data Age (1983)
Recommended variation: B
Our high score: 1,480
1 or 2 players
Publisher: Activision (1981)
In the early 80's, it seems like whenever I engaged in a conversation about Frogger, somebody would always chime in about how they preferred Activision's Freeway. Both games offer similar cross-the-street gameplay, but Freeway stars a yellow chicken that's roughly six feet tall and ten feet long (measured against the cars). That's a big chicken, people. Frogger's screen was divided into a road and a stream, but Freeway is just one big ten-lane highway. Your goal is to cross as many times as possible within a 2-minute, 16-second time limit, and you can only move up-and-down. It's simplistic for sure, but one thing this game has over Frogger is its two-player head-to-head action. The game requires good timing, and you'll need to anticipate traffic several lanes ahead before attempting a mad dash. Under difficulty A, hitting a car sends you back to the bottom of the screen, which makes the game riskier but more fun. As you would expect from an Activision title, the animation is smooth and the graphics are pleasing to the eye. The well-defined cars and trucks slow down and speed up unpredictably. The sound effects include car horns and engines fading in and out. Freeway is super fun when played head-to-head, but the one-player experience is less than compelling. Overall it falls short of Frogger, but Freeway certainly deserves a spot in any Atari 2600 collection. © Copyright 2010 The Video Game Critic.
Recommended variation: 7A
Our high score: 17
1 or 2 players
Publisher: Parker Bros (1982)
A simple premise and inviting graphics made Frogger one of the most popular Atari 2600 cartridges of all time. This timeless classic is enjoyed by both men and women, young and old alike. The idea is to help a frog cross a busy street with speeding cars, trucks, and bulldozers
(?) headed in both directions. Surviving that, you must navigate a river full of logs, snakes, and alligators. Escorting attractive lady frogs and catching juicy flies will earn you bonus points. The jumping animation could be better, but the graphics look clean, colorful, and vibrant. This is every bit as playable as the arcade, and there are special features to boot. Setting the difficulty switches to B let you float off one side of the screen and reappear on the other - something you couldn't do in the arcade. In addition to novice and expert modes, you can also try your hand at "speedy Frogger". This mode lets you take fast, consecutive hops, but it tends to make your frog more accident-prone. A harmonized tune kicks off each screen, but I wish you didn't have to wait for it to end before you could begin. Frogger is a competent but unspectacular title. If you're looking for a little more razzle-dazzle, check out the superior The Official Frogger by Starpath. © Copyright 2012 The Video Game Critic.
Recommended variation: 3A
Our high score: 2393
1 or 2 players
Publisher: Parker Bros (1984)
Frogger II is deeper and more complex than the original game. It features three distinctive screens that are interconnected in imaginative ways. You begin on the ocean floor swimming toward the surface while battling the water current and avoiding fish, eels, and submarines. Keep an eye out for the friendly turtle; you're safe while riding on his back. The second screen is set on the water surface, and it plays more like the original Frogger as you hop across ducks, whales, hippos, and lily pads. Keep an ear out for the ominous music which signals when a shark is on the prowl through the lily pads. Hopping on the mother duck transports you to the "sky screen", where you bounce off clouds and ride the backs of birds. It's a little far fetched, and I'm sure marine biologists will question if this scenario is even possible. Frogger II's graphics are absolutely first-rate, with high-resolution objects rendered in vivid colors. When Frogger gets killed he becomes "fat", which is somewhat awkward attempt to render a "squished" frog. In terms of design, Frogger 2 is pure genius, but it's not quite as much fun as the original Frogger. You'll spend most of your time in the underwater screen, and fighting the current gets tiresome. Still, Frogger 2 is definitely worthwhile, and this Atari 2600 edition is vastly superior to the sluggish, dull Colecovision version. © Copyright 2012 The Video Game Critic.
Recommended variation: BA
Our high score: 3004
Frogger, The Official
Publisher: Starpath (1984)
The Parker Bros. version of Frogger for the 2600 was very good, but this Official version blows it out of the water
. It's astounding
how faithful this is to the arcade. The lush graphics boast a brilliant color palette and a well-animated frog that takes smooth, measured hops. All of the elements of the arcade are included (even the otter), but what makes the game extra fun is the break-neck pace. You get seven lives (!) but you'll go through them quick thanks to turtles that quickly submerge and cars that abruptly change speeds. The first screen is leisurely but the difficulty ramps quickly. I love how bonus point values appear right on the screen, making it extra satisfying when you escort the lady frog or snag a fly. Like the other Frogger, the difficulty switches determine if you can float off the side of the screen unharmed. But what really surprised me about this game is the music. Several songs play throughout the game, and while they lack harmony, they are all catchy and fun. Since the game rotates through a series of tunes (including Yankee Doodle), you never get tired of hearing them. It's a shame The Official Frogger is so obscure, because it's one of the most impressive titles I've played on the 2600. The game originally appeared on the Starpath series of cassette games, and was later included on the "Stella Gets a New Brain" CD. © Copyright 2012 The Video Game Critic.
Recommended variation: A
Our high score: 14,070
1 or 2 players
Publisher: M-Network (1982)
With its charming graphics, innovative controls, and head-to-head gameplay, Frogs and Flies is one of the Atari 2600's best kept secrets. Each player controls a small frog who can hop between two lily pads on the bottom on the screen. The control scheme is both unique and effective. By pushing and holding the joystick for a few moments, you control both the angle and distance of your frog's jump. When you miss the lilies and splash into the water, your frog to automatically swims back to a pad. Pressing the fire button flicks your frog's sticky tongue, allowing him to snag the blocky but tastey flies buzzing overhead. Each fly is worth two points and the frog with the highest score by nightfall wins. The fly movements are erratic, and it's always satisfying to snag one just before your opponent can reach it. The scenery is blocky but conveys a cozy pond environment, complete with plants lining the edge and tree branches hanging overhead. As the sky darkens, the action becomes more competitive and intense. At the game's end, a fly pulls a "The End" sign across the screen, and crickets can be heard chirping in the background. My friends and I have a blast
with this game, and there's a surprising amount of trash talk. Frogs and Flies also appeals to women, and is one of the few M-Network games that supports solo play. © Copyright 2004 The Video Game Critic.
Recommended variation: AA
Our high score: SDZ 40
1 or 2 players
Publisher: Coleco (1982)
Recommended variation: 3
Our high score: 11,900
1 or 2 players
Publisher: Activision (1983)
As first glance you might mistake this for "Frogger on ice", but Frostbite is actually more of a Frogger/Q*bert hybrid. The screen features a river with four rows of criss-crossing ice floes. Playing the role of a colorful Eskimo in snowshoes, you must leap between the floes while avoiding birds and crabs. Hopping on a row of ice turns it blue and adds a brick to the igloo being constructed on the top of the screen. Once the igloo is complete, you enter it collect a bonus and proceed to the next stage. Advanced stages feature a polar bear patrolling near the igloo - a nice touch. What really sets Frostbite apart is your ability to reverse the direction of the ice floe you're standing on by pressing the fire button. This adds a lot strategy but it's not
easy to use effectively. The game does suffer from one major flaw, and that's how you become paralyzed when touched by a bird or crab. Watching a bird pecking your face as you're helplessly pushed off a floe is frustrating. Still, you have to love the challenge. Frostbite is deceptively simple, but gamers will need to really concentrate in order to wrap their minds around this one. © Copyright 2010 The Video Game Critic.
Recommended variation: 1
Our high score: 11,290
1 or 2 players
Publisher: UA Limited (1983)
Based on an extremely unpopular 1981 arcade game, Funky Fish didn't arrive on the Atari 2600 until 2003. Better late than never you say? Not really!
Funky Fish resembles no other game from the past, present, or future
. Its laborious gameplay involves dragging a lazy-ass fish across a side-scrolling, murky-green ocean. A Defender-style scanner on top of screen tracks your four stationary
targets. These so-called "monsters" are evenly spaced out and cleverly disguised as square blocks
. As you approach each, they excrete odd shapes that move erratically. If you make contact with a shape your fish turns to bones and sinks to the sea floor. Fear not however, for Funky Fish can shoot these objects, transforming them into - you guessed it - cherries
. Once you've consumed a certain number of cherries, the monster becomes defenseless, allowing you to sit
on him until he dies. I wish I could say this game "looked better on paper" but how is that possible?
Your slow trek between each monster is unbearable, and adding insult to injury, you can't simply move off one end of the scanner and re-emerge on the other side. Repetitive beeps further add to the misery. Funky Fish is available from Atari Age. Get your copy today! © Copyright 2013 The Video Game Critic.
Our high score: 7,390