3DO Reviews M-R

Games like this one give full-motion video (FMV) titles a bad name. Oh wait - they already had a bad name? Well, this one gives light gun titles a bad name. What's that? They have a bad name too? I guess Mad Dog McCree offers the worst of both worlds. The first time I played I couldn't even figure out how to get started! Then I discovered a tiny little black button that looks like a screw on the left side of my American Gamegun. Nice design! The action begins with some old man rambling on and on about Mad Dog and his gang (yes, I tried to shoot the old coot). Mad Dog is a notorious outlaw with a penchant for wearing heavy eyeliner. The game tries to give you a first-person tour of the Wild West, with shoot-outs in dusty locations like a bank, corral, jail, and saloon. You can use either a light gun or controller, but neither one is up to the task. The light gun is somewhat accurate but there's no reticule to use as a guide. The controller option sucks because you need to drag the cursor to the bottom of the screen just to reload! When the outlaws show up, you can't shoot them until they draw their guns, leaving you only a split-second to take a perfect shot. There's no immediate feedback so you might have to wait a few seconds to see what happened. The next clip will either be a guy falling to the ground or a town doctor chiding you for sucking so much. I can handle high difficulty, but the collision detection is horrible, and sometimes broken! It's not uncommon to shoot an outlaw perfectly and not have your shot even register. Mad Dog McCree has a few good ideas like selectable stages and branching paths, but technically it's a trainwreck. Apparently light guns and full motion video wasn't the marriage made in heaven that nobody thought it was. © Copyright 2013 The Video Game Critic.

Unlike many early 3D racers, Need for Speed has aged remarkably well. It's a potent combination of lifelike visuals, realistic physics, and tight controls. And despite an emphasis on realism, Need for Speed is actually a lot of fun to play! You can compete against the clock or go head-to-head with a CPU-controlled Don Johnson look-alike. Notice there's no split-screen mode - a definite drawback but not a deal-breaker. There are eight cars to select from including a Ferrari 512, Porsche 911, and a Lamborghini Diablo. Each has an impressive video showcase, and gazing at the sharp car photos on the load screens really gets you psyched up about driving them. The vehicles handle exceptionally well, allowing you to weave through two-lane traffic at dangerously high speeds. Your car tends to labor while climbing mountain roads, but this is the only time the action feels sluggish. You can build up some serious momentum headed downhill, and the possibility of losing control makes it all the more exciting. It seems like I always wipe out as soon as the finish line comes into view (only to watch "Crocket" cruise right on by). Graphically, Need for Speed is a stunning 3DO tour-de-force that makes the Playstation version look weak by comparison. From sunny coastal highways to winding mountain roads to industrial urban areas, the scenery has an authentic, digitized look you just don't see anymore. I love the shadowing as you drive over bridges, as well as the muffled audio as you whisk through the tunnels. I detected no draw-in, pop-up, or frame-rate stutters. I actually prefer playing the game using the first-person "cockpit" view! Clearly the programmers did a bang-up job. After each race you have the option of viewing a highlight reel that effectively replays the best parts of the race. High scores and initials are saved automatically. It may seem a little slow compared to modern-day racers, but the eye candy is pretty amazing, and when it comes to sheer playability, Need for Speed is the real deal. © Copyright 2010 The Video Game Critic.

I was a big fan of this full-motion video extravaganza on the Sega CD and 32X, so I had high hopes for the 3DO version. Night Trap is a controversial title that lets you monitor eight rooms of a house, trying to capture "augers" out to kidnap girls at a slumber party. Some critics mock its cheesy acting, but the low-budget scenes have a nostalgic, B-movie charm. You begin the game with your "commander" briefing you on your mission, but while he's yapping away the story is already unfolding, so don't wait for him to finish. Beating the game requires a lot of trial and error - and luck. As you flip between cameras you'll catch bits and pieces of the story while keeping an eye out for creeping augers. You'll want to memorize (and write down) key events like trap code changes, as missing these will cut your mission short. The auger locations are randomized to a modest extent. I like how events occur concurrently in different rooms because it means you can see something new every time you play. I'm amazed at how the designers managed to orchestrate all of the scenes so well. The action really heats up if you can make it to disc two, but it's not an easy feat. So how does this 3DO version stack up to the others? Well, the video area is about the size of the 32X version, but the quality is better. The scenery looks less grainy but the frame-rate is slightly degraded. The best part about this 3DO edition is how you can quickly switch between cameras. There's a second or two of static when you switch cameras on the Sega CD or 32X, but in this version the transition is almost instantaneous. I also noticed that the audio is clearer than the Sega games. Night Trap isn't a perfect game, but it's highly original and a lot of fun if you give it a chance. With cleaner video and more responsive controls, this may be the definitive version of the game. © Copyright 2012 The Video Game Critic.

Novastorm's full-motion video intro shows several galactic commanders on monitors discussing a galactic crisis, and the conversation made me very sleepy. Fortunately the scene soon gives way to a starship taking off, and this regained my attention. The ship is rendered with vivid color and excellent lighting effects, all complemented by a surreal musical score. Psygnosis clearly spared no expense on Novastorm, which still looks impressive in 2010! The game is played via a third-person view as you pilot a ship over various planetary surfaces while blasting alien ships that scale in and out of view. All of the obligatory fire/ice/desert environments are included, and they look very nice as you glide smoothly across them. Advanced levels even incorporate bridges, columns, and other structures you'll need to avoid (although they only inflict minimal damage). Your cannons are semi-automatic, so a controller with a turbo switch may come in handy. Power-ups appear early and often, but I try to stick with the wide triple-shot. The pulsating technical music is one of the highlights of the game, and the stereo sound effects are also noticeably good. Blowing up waves of alien ships is fun for a while thanks to the satisfying explosion effects, but much like Sega's Afterburner, your own ship tends to obstruct your view. Enemies keep reappearing in the same formations, causing the action to become monotonous. Well-produced cut-scenes tie the stages together, and they're worth watching. Periodic boss encounters include showdowns with a flaming bird and a giant scorpion. You get a generous supply of bombs (three per ship), and I would recommend using them exclusively on the bosses. It's hard to tell if you're inflicting any damage on these mechanical beasts until an FMV "death scene" finally kicks in. Before you begin playing Novastorm do yourself a big favor and adjust the number of lives down to 5, because the default of 7 makes for an excruciatingly long game. High scores are recorded automatically along with initials. Novastorm's visuals and soundtrack have easily stood the test of time, but I'm afraid this is largely a case of style over substance. © Copyright 2010 The Video Game Critic.

Before you gamers get too excited about this one, I should warn you that Phoenix 3 is not a sequel to the popular bird-shooting arcade game of the early 80s. No, Phoenix 3 is half platform shooter and half first-person space shooter. While neither part is great, the package as a whole may be worth checking out. After a cheesy "live action" video introduction (boring), the game begins with some simple 2D platform action in a post-apocalyptic world. You control a large, digitized man who controls quite well. He can walk while squatting, shoot from ladders, fire in eight directions, hang onto ledges, and pull himself up. The scenery isn't much to look at, but the Alien-inspired enemies look slimy enough. It's fun to mow down these creeps with your rapid-fire gun and watch blood and internal organs fly, and the accompanying sound of splattering guts makes the mayhem all the more satisfying. The audio is superb, with crisp, digitized sound effects and an adrenaline pumping musical score. But despite the high-quality presentation, the gameplay is unpolished. The controls for climbing down are confusing, and you're often forced to make "blind leaps" - only to find a bed of spikes below. Shooting diagonally up is a problem, as your shots often miss their target for no reason at all. As a nice change of pace, you'll also get to participate in some first-person dog fighting action in space. These stages also look nice, with a finely detailed heads-up display and 3D alien ships. Visually it reminded me of Colony Wars for the Playstation. Unfortunately, you need to rely completely on your guided torpedoes to eliminate your enemies, because the twin cannons are worthless. The explosions look terrific, but the lack of variety makes this part feel repetitive. Phoenix 3 is not a great game by any stretch, but it has its moments, and will probably hold your interest for a while. © Copyright 2003 The Video Game Critic.

If you're willing to stretch the definition of "video game" far enough, Plumbers Don't Wear Ties might just be the worst ever! This "interactive romantic comedy" challenges you to fix up a plumber with a trashy blonde named Jane. In the bizarre intro sequence Jane appears in various states of undress imploring you to play this awful game. It doesn't bode well that she's standing in front of a wrinkled bedsheet and the audio is awful. Full-motion video (FMV) technology has never been held in high regard, and Plumbers can't even get that part right. Instead of actual video the game presents still pictures with voiceovers. The opening scene depicts a phone call between the plumber and his mother, and sitting through it pushes the limits of human endurance. Not only does every joke fall flat, but you're forced to watch the dude lounge half-naked in bed for ten minutes. After a while you start to wonder if this is the kind of video game you actually interact with. When Jane encounters the plumber in a parking lot you're finally prompted to select a course of action, but the choices make no sense and neither does the mayhem that ensues. Every scene is full of pointless dialogue and circular discussions. Did someone actually write a script, or did they test that "1000 monkeys at 1000 typewriters" theory? Periodically there's a loud buzz and some obnoxious guy in a loud suit yells at you for no reason. There's no way to fast-forward a scene, but accidentally hitting the right bumper will restart the current scene (ugh). And this game is so mean-spirited! The boss interviewing Jane berates her, propositions her, and then attacks her! The fact that this disturbing sequence is played for laughs is mind-boggling. The game lies too. The warnings of "gratuitous nudity" are ridiculous considering how heavily censored the visuals are. Even when Jane is in lingerie she's completely obscured by wacky computer graphics. The game is short but not short enough. My friends couldn't tolerate it for more than a few minutes, and begged me to shut it off. Bad games are a dime a dozen, but Plumbers Don't Wear Ties is the stuff of legend. © Copyright 2015 The Video Game Critic.

On paper, Primal Rage is the greatest video game of all time. With gigantic, motion-captured dinosaurs and apes fighting for dominion over a post-apocalyptic world, what's not to like? In 1995 I drooled over mind-blowing screenshots of Primal Rage in GamePro magazine. Then, I played it. The fact that the game looks so damned good makes its mediocre gameplay all the more glaring. The creatures look amazing in their pre-battle poses, but their attacks are choppy and the collision detection is questionable. Between the stilted animation, kicked-up dust, and gratuitous blood, it can be hard to tell what the heck's going on. The 3DO edition includes the original arcade intro, featuring wonderful illustrations of giant creatures laying waste to human civilization (I can't wait for the future!). This version also incorporates full-motion video sequences, but I wish they hadn't bothered. The rudimentary creature models look far worse than those in the actual game, and the narrator sounds like she's reading nonsense to a kindergarten class ("now she comes... to defeat all others... who oppose her reign"). Fortunately it's possible to disable these wretched cinematics via the options menu. The game itself looks pretty sweet. The creatures look razor sharp and the awesome backdrops include extra details like flying pterodactyls. The battles are intense because attacks inflict substantial damage. The continue screen shows worshipping natives including one that looks like Dana Plato waving to get your attention. Additional play modes include tug-of-war and endurance modes. There are also statistical screens that display information like average round times and character usage (but no high scores, oddly enough). It doesn't really matter, since none of the stuff is saved when you turn off the system (boo). Even so, this 3DO Primal Rage may be the best home version outside of the Saturn edition. © Copyright 2013 The Video Game Critic.

Part of me wishes full-motion video games had flourished, because they're a heck of a lot of fun to review. I didn't expect Psychic Detective to be scary per se, but its imagery is pretty dark and twisted. I enjoyed watching the scenes which look like they were filmed on location in Albania or some other eastern European country. The main character is a psychic played by a young Jim Carrey - or someone who looks just like him. He meets some hot Russian chick who teaches him how to creep into people's minds. The villain is played by Sir Ben Kingsley - or someone who looks exactly like him. Gameplay is similar to other "voyeur" style games except instead of switching between cameras you actually switch between different character's points of view. At a party you can "hop" between people to gain insight on their thoughts and actions. As new characters enter the scene their faces appear in circles along the edge of the screen, which you are free to select. I love the "fly on the wall" concept, but it's hard to wrap your mind around what's happening. Instead of feeling like an actor in the story, it feels like you're on some crazy psychedelic trip. Five minutes in my friend Scott summed up the game perfectly by asking, "am I playing yet?" On rare occasions you're given the opportunity to perform actions like "follow the girl" or "slap the girl". Yeah, this is not the most politically correct title, but if it makes you feel any better, she immediately apologizes after you hit her. It's evident that "morphing" was the latest craze when this game was made because during flashbacks everything looks distorted. In terms of acting, I really enjoyed some of the perfectly awful performances. That Russian chick was definitely not hired due to her "acting"; she couldn't deliver a line to save her life. "Are you sure [awkward pause to remember line] ...he's alright?" Repeated plays reveal different scenes and dialogue, adding some replay value. Swapping between the three discs gets annoying though. The 40-minute story concludes with an abstract board game where you try to match up objects with people. Based on your performance you'll watch one of 14 endings. The problem is, I felt like Psychic Detective was playing me more than I was playing it. © Copyright 2013 The Video Game Critic.

Games like this could give the 3DO a bad name. Oh wait, that's right - the 3DO has had a bad name for years! But if I could grade Quarantine on innovation alone, it would receive my highest accolades. It's a fully 3D, drive-anywhere game with elements of car combat and taxi driving. Pretty ambitious stuff for 1994, but as far as the gameplay goes, Quarantine absolutely sucks. You're a taxi driver in an imprisoned city full of armed lunatics. The cheesy video intro makes you realize just how low budget these 3DO games were. I've heard this game compared to Crazy Taxi (Dreamcast), but I think that's giving it way too much credit. Quarantine actually resembles a very rough version of Twisted Metal (Playstation). The city is huge, but the pixelated facades are nothing to look at, and the people are little more than cardboard cutouts. You feel boxed in. Driving passengers to their destinations while mowing down thugs sounds like great fun, but the execution falters. Your view is first person only, which is part of the problem. The controls are awful, especially when trying to turn the car around. Mindless, pixelated vehicles ram you from out of nowhere, causing you to lose your passengers. There's plenty of gratuitous blood when you run over or shoot people, but those huge red splotches look ridiculous. You constantly need to consult a slow-loading map screen to see where you're going. You can upgrade weapons and repair your car, but when the basic gameplay falters this bad, extra fluff like that falls to the wayside. Perhaps the most telling sign about this game was the fact that it actually made me ill. I don't know if it was the lousy frame rate, terrible graphics, frustrating control, or the burrito I had eaten earlier, but I actually become nauseated and had to stop playing. On a positive note, I did enjoy a few of the selectable background tunes, featuring some vintage early 90's alternative rock. But no soundtrack could save this game. Quarantine had the right idea, but the technology just wasn't ready yet. © Copyright 2002 The Video Game Critic.