Angry Birds Trilogy
Publisher: Activision (2012)
Rating: Everyone (comic mischief)
Publisher: Ubisoft (2011)
Rating: Everyone 10+
Batman: Arkham Origins Blackgate
Publisher: Warner Bros. Interactive (2013)
Rating: Teen (blood, mild language, mild suggestive themes, use of tobacco, violence)
Publisher: NIS (2011)
This one looks really good
on paper. Cave Story 3D is a quirky 2D platformer that lets you explore subterranean areas while shooting bats, jumping between platforms, and solving puzzles. The rapid-fire shooting is the best part, and I like how you can fire straight up to destroy leaping blue blobs. To propel the story you'll converse with floppy-eared characters that offer clues on how to complete missions in dark forests and high-tech factories. The cartoonish characters, catchy music, and silly dialog give the game an old-school quality. The action is pretty slow however, requiring a lot of tedious exploration and plenty of trial and error. You can jump pretty high, but the slippery controls make it tricky to hop between narrow platforms. There are a heck
of a lot of one-hit deaths, sending you back to your last save point (and there's no auto-save). I also have a little problem with the size of the characters. The main character is literally
the size of a flea! This was the first video game that forced me to use my reading glasses!
The 3D effects are modest at best and really have no bearing on the gameplay. Frankly I suspect the game would play better on a big screen. Cave Story 3D has some appealing qualities but in the end I found the gameplay more tedious and aggravating than fun. © Copyright 2012 The Video Game Critic.
Publisher: Atari (2011)
Rating: Everyone 10+ (animated blood, fantasy violence)
My feelings toward this 3DS version of Centipede Infestation mirror those I have for the Wii version. You control a guy scampering around a confined area while unleashing rapid-fire shots at bugs crawling out of the woodwork. The game seems fun at first but the novelty wears off quickly. One issue is obvious right off the bat: you need to use the four face buttons to aim. You'll be wishing for a second thumbstick in the worst way. The touchpad is used to select special weapons you collect. The problem is, I only have two thumbs, which means I either have to stop moving or stop shooting to change weapons. That sucks, and it's not even worth it because the special weapons really aren't very special. Certain types of bugs you shoot will produce "sentries" which function like cannons that work on your behalf. That seems awesome, but it really just gives you less to do in a game that already has a lot of dead time between waves. Other bugs produce huge mushrooms which are super annoying because they tend to get in your way. Giant centipedes inject some excitement, but they only appear in the waning moments of each round. The 3D effects have little bearing on the gameplay, and they're actually more noticeable during the cheesy cartoon intermissions. Infestation comes up short when it comes to challenge, sense of progression, and replay value. This by-the-numbers shooter was a weak attempt to cash in on the Centipede name. © Copyright 2014 The Video Game Critic.
Dead or Alive Dimensions
Publisher: Tecmo Koei (2011)
Rating: Teen (blood, mild language, partial nudity)
Publisher: D3 Publisher (2011)
Rating: No one
I felt a disturbance in the Force, as though a great many people who bought Dream Trigger 3D cried out in pain, and were suddenly silenced. The box has the audacity to call it "the ultimate handheld shooter". What kind of gullible chump would fall for that
one? Oh wait - that would be me
. Good thing being a sucker isn't against the law, or I'd be doing hard time!
Dream Trigger is a bad idea masquerading around as an even worse game. It cannot be played - only endured
. Its 3D effects are limited to layered backgrounds which have absolutely no bearing on its incomprehensible gameplay. The idea is to rub moving squares on your lower screen, causing flower-shaped enemies to appear up top. You then move this fairy thing over targets with the thumbstick and press the shoulder button to shoot. The designers failed to take into account that it's really hard
to watch both screens at the same time! While you're rubbing and shooting like a madman, hundreds of red projectiles appear from nowhere and criss-cross the screen in inescapable patterns. The fact that you're invincible while firing only further lowers my opinion of this putrid game. Dream Trigger's single redeeming feature is its serene soundtrack which envelops you in relaxing 3D audio. What a [expletive] waste. Designed on a cocktail napkin over a few drinks, Dream Trigger is a total sham. I'm calling out all critics who don't trash this game! You
are a fraud!
And for all the poor schmucks who made the mistake of buying this, I have a little piece of advice. Force yourself to play Dream Trigger every morning
, and you can rest assured that nothing worse
will happen to you for the rest of the day. © Copyright 2011 The Video Game Critic.
Epic Mickey: Power of Illusion
Publisher: Disney (2012)