The Video Game Critic's

Halloween Review Spectacular

Portable Edition

Updated 2024/11/20

Each game is rated for Halloween spirit:

pumpkin Tame "Trick or Treat?"
pumpkin pumpkin Spooky "Double, double toil and trouble; fire burn and cauldron bubble!"
pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin Ghoulish "Serpents and spiders, tail of a rat; call in the spirits, wherever they're at!"
pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin Ghastly "Grim Grinning Ghosts about to socialiiiiize"
pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin Macabre "Now don't close your eyes, and don't try to hide; or a silly spook may sit by your side."

And also rated for "fright factor":

tombstone Child's play "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."
tombstone tombstone Creepy "I see dead people."
tombstone tombstone tombstone Unnerving "That cold ain't the weather. That's death approaching."
tombstone tombstone tombstone tombstone Intense "I know you're there Tina. Because I can smell your brains."
tombstone tombstone tombstone tombstone tombstone Terrifying "It’s Alive! It’s Alive!"

Atari Lynx Games

LynxJam 2021: Let's Make Something Scary

Atari Gamer (2024)
System: Lynx
Grade: NA


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Krow screenshot I'm always up for some scary games, but on the Lynx?! How could I possibly resist?? LynxJam 2021: Let's Make Something Scary is a collection of six mini-games with a macabre theme.

The first, Banana Ghost, is about as scary as its name would imply. You move a stereotypical white ghost around a series of rooms, trying to scare some dude through doors so he can escape. The problem is, each scare sends him bouncing mindlessly around the room and it takes him forever to stop.

Bathman is the most offbeat of the bunch. It stars a sexy vamp named Letitia seen in digitized form on the game's intro screen! So she's taking a bath in a huge caudron. You control a little vampire bat trying to perform tasks in response to her supplications. I can throw logs in the fire to heat her "bath", but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do after that. She always ends up whipping me into submission.

Black Pit is the most esoteric game of the collection. Designed to be played with earphones, you use sound cues to navigate a pitch dark maze. It's a really cool concept but I couldn't figure it out. The map screen is extremely hard to make out and takes forever to render. Am I supposed to be that white pixel? I don't get it.

Krow features an excellent title screen depicting a crow sitting on a graveyard fence as weird organ music plays. Viewing your bird from behind, you glide over a foggy landscape with a huge moon looming in the sky. Objects scale in from the distance, mostly skulls. You need to dodge these while catching crescent-shape "moonbeams". I wish there was some kind of feedback when you caught one. Collect 30 for the win. It's shallow but the atmosphere is very nice.

Sorrow is what you might describe as Zelda Lite. You move a little warrior armed with a sword around a maze of rooms that all look the same. Clear each room of monsters and doors open. I appreciate how they remain open when you backtrack, but there's little sense of progress. It's not scary either, although I suppose the music is a bit eerie.

Fortunately they saved the best for last. Does anybody remember Plants Vs. Zombies (Xbox 360, 2010)? In that game you would strategically place weapons on one side of the screen to fend off waves of zombies. Zap reinvents this classic for the Lynx, and it's by far the most addictive and enjoyable game of the bunch.

So there you have it. I'm not assigning a grade to LynxJam 2021 because none of these games are fully-realized. My biggest gripe is that there's no easy way to switch between games; you have to turn the system off and on to get back to the menu. That said, these little ditties can be fun to noodle around with on a chilly October afternoon.

Originally posted 2024/10/8


Dracula: The Undead

Atari (1992)
System: Lynx
Grade: F


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screenshot Dracula: The Undead (not to be confused with Dracula the Florist) is like one of those point-and-click adventures, except you walk around instead of moving a cursor. You need to examine everything and solve problems by combining items in the most unlikely ways. The intro features Bram Stoker sitting in his easy chair reciting some background story as a storm rages outside. I believe that's James Cameron playing the role of Bram.

I thought this game was based on the movie Bram Stoker's Dracula (1993) but the character likenesses are much different. Instead of Gary Oldman's over-the-top Dracula you get the traditional Bela Lugosi model. The black-and-white graphics add atmosphere along with some pretty creepy music. The visual detail is good as you explore shadowy rooms with flickering light provided by a lantern. Doors and windows tend to blend into the surroundings and some are not even visible! You often need to press against the side of the screen to find them!

The text descriptions are weak. The first thing I examined was the cupboard in the bedroom, only to read "It's just an old cupboard." A thoughtful description would have made exploration a lot more interesting. Likewise when I accidentally asked Dracula the same question twice he responded with "You already said that" which kind of took me out of the moment.

The menu interface is far too specific so simply trying to use an iron key on an iron door can take five minutes. I would still be stuck in the first room if not for the FAQ. Most of the puzzles make no sense! It would never occur to me to combine twine with a fishing hook to create a fishing line. Even less obvious is using that to lower yourself down a well!

But the worst part of the game is climbing the castle walls to reach various windows. Performing the climb once is a chore, yet the game expects you to repeat the process about 10 times! It is not worth it - especially when you see the crap ending. I wish I could say Dracula: The Undead is so bad it's good, but I'm afraid this one is so bad it's just bad.

Originally posted 2018/9/18


Game Boy (Original) Games


Dr. Franken

Kemco (1992)
System: Game Boy
Grade: B-


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screenshot Dr. Franken for the Game Boy is not half bad. It's far more inspired than the colorfully zany Dr. Franken, The Adventures of (SNES, 1992). This black-and-white edition finds our Frankenstein monster decked out in striped pajamas, scouring an expansive castle for the body parts of his beloved girlfriend.

The graphics are impressively detailed and varied. Each room is meticulously rendered from the laboratory to the bedroom to the library. The dungeons look shadowy and the furniture has an antiquated look. That's good because you have a lot of exploring to do. The game displays a map via the select button, but it's hard to translate the map to what you're seeing on the screen.

Your monster can jump and rapidly fire lighting bolts. For being composed of rotting corpse parts, this guy is surprisingly spry. The jump controls feel kind of "spongy" however, making it hard to jump-and-shoot flying ghosts. Your shots pass right through larger enemies such as pumpkin-headed phantoms, mounds of possessed poop, and skeletons that strut around like they're all that.

There are a few issues with the overall design. Sometimes obtaining one object will make another part of the game accessible for no logical reason. You'll find a book in one room, and suddenly a key becomes available in the doorway? There's a lot of precarious jumping, and you never know what you can jump "on" until you try.

Still, Dr. Franken goes the extra mile, displaying clues on the map and providing a simple password at any time. There's no score but this password feature means you can continue without losing a beat. I have to hand it to Dr. Franken. It may not make a lot of sense, but this game is more than the sum of its parts.

Originally posted 2023/10/15


Game Boy Color Games


Resident Evil

Capcom (1999)
System: Game Boy Color
Grade: NA


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screenshot I would have never believed this game existed until a helpful reader furnished me with a copy. The thought of running a sophisticated 3D adventure like Resident Evil (PS1, 1996) on the Game Boy Color is ludicrous, but wouldn't you know - the bastards actually did it! You may be expecting a watered-down, 2D version of the game, but no - this is a full, albeit low-resolution version of the original survival horror masterpiece.

All of the rooms, camera angles, puzzles, and famously-bad dialog appear to be intact. The pre-rendered scenery looks quite good, and certain objects even sport a digitized appearance. Only the ever-present hex codes displayed along the bottom of the screen would indicate this is a work in progress. Also, "killed" zombies tend to just kneel in place.

The cut-scenes are static, but when you see the first zombie looking over his shoulder, it's still alarming. Obviously the developers couldn't employ polygons to render the characters so instead they use scaling sprites. The results are mixed.

It's hard to discern what's happening when characters are at the far end of the room. Knowing which way your character is facing can be frustrating when you're trying to aim in close-quarters. Sometimes there appears to be an interesting item in the scenery but the muddy visuals make it hard to tell what it is.

The two-button control scheme is serviceable. Typically one is to interact with your surroundings while the other is to use an item. Both buttons need to be pressed at once to fire your gun, but it's not as bad as it sounds. The select button brings up your inventory screen.

Though fascinating to fiddle around with, I can't imagine playing this for an extended period of time. Especially when moving from room to room, the changing camera angles can be quite disorienting. This project was ill-conceived from the start, but just the fact that they managed to shoe-horn Resident-freakin'-Evil into the Game Boy Color is a remarkable technical feat.

Originally posted 2022/11/2


The Simpsons: Night of the Living Treehouse of Horror

THQ (2001)
System: Game Boy Color
Grade: D+


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screenshot I've always been a fan of The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror Halloween specials, making it a point to watch every October. I was excited to discover a Game Boy Color title based on these episodes! Stylistically it's right on point. The characters are rendered remarkably well and the colorful stages incorporate iconic references like the three-eyed fish. The Simpsons theme in minor key sounds remarkable but it's on a short loop and will get on your nerves after a while. There are no less than seven stages, each based on a different story.

If you've ever wanted to explore the Simpson household the first stage lets you do that. Playing as Bart you're trying to locate four fuses to turn the lights back on. The controls could be better. Bart's slingshot only shoots rocks a short distance before they hit the ground. Worse yet, he must stand still to shoot, making him a sitting duck for rats, spiders, and flying books. Sometimes you'll exit a room only to find yourself right next to a haunted vacuum cleaner. That thing requires two shots to kill and there's only time to get off one. There's no shortage of cheap hits like dripping water and ghostly hands that reach out of the floor.

In stage two you fly around the kitchen as a little Maggie transformed into a fly. The Joust-like controls are okay but constant up-and-down made me queasy. Level three takes to the streets as an overhead zombie shooter starring Marge, and it might have been fun if her firepower wasn't so weak. Level four is a Castlevania-style side-scroller starring Homer in an ornate castle that's a feast for the eyes. But like Bart's slingshot, Homer's crossbow fires directly into the ground.

Stage five features a hilarious-looking robotic Homer and stage six puts a defenseless Lisa in a school-gone-mad. The game finishes on a high note with "King Homer" which is basically a take-off of Rampage (Sega Master System, 1986) with Homer as the ape. There's a nice password system so it's easy to sample all of these. I would have preferred one really good game over seven mediocre ones, but if you're looking for a Halloween treat, Night of the Living Treehouse of Horror may just do the trick.

Originally posted 2017/10/19


Buffy the Vampire Slayer

THQ (2000)
System: Game Boy Color
Grade: D


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screenshot Despite a killer license, Buffy the Vampire Slayer doesn't have much to offer. Our blonde heroine simply kicks and punches her way through generic undead thugs in repetitive side-scrolling stages. The character sprites are flat but the animation is surprisingly fluid, calling to mind Flashback for the Genesis (1993). The fighting action is shallow, but hearing a ghoul shriek as you stake him through the heart is satisfying. Sometimes you're even treated to flying body parts!

The graveyard, mansion, and zoo locations are remarkably dull, and the sewers stages are marred by awkward platform jumping. Buffy's visuals are so dark that it can be tough to make out your enemies at times. Speaking of which, it's easy to get the impression that you're fighting the same zombie over and over again, who keeps returning in a new outfit!

The game isn't hard and there's no score, so where's the challenge? It feels like you're just going through the motions as you mindlessly forge ahead, scribbling down a new password after each stage. At least the jaunty soundtrack is relatively good, striking a nice balance between creepy and funky. The illustrated cut-scenes look rough, but the witty dialogue is consistent with the show, tossing out references to several episodes. Even so, Buffy fans will regard this as more of a collectible than a source of entertainment.

Originally posted 2008/9/30


Game Boy Advance Games

Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas: The Pumpkin King

Buena Vista (2005)
System: Game Boy Advance
Grade: A-


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screenshot One thing that bothered me about the Nightmare Before Christmas movie was the awkward mixing of Christmas and Halloween themes. The two holidays couldn't be any more different! Fortunately this video game adaption sticks to the Halloween stuff, and does it right. This is one of the best pure Halloween titles I've played. The gothic scenery features gnarled trees, wrought iron gates, and gorgeous orange sunsets.

Instead of a series of stages, you traverse a sprawling map of connected areas. There's a nice sense of progression as you unlock new areas, each with their own distinctive eye candy and vibrant color schemes. The soundtrack has an appropriately eerie quality too. In terms of gameplay Nightmare Before Christmas is a pretty basic platformer. That may not sound like a ringing endorsement, but you'd be surprised how often these kinds of games get screwed up!

This one sticks to the script and plays beautifully. Our lanky hero Jack doesn't stand out like most characters (he looks like a stick figure), but he's well animated with long arms that allow him to easily grab ledges and pull himself up. The villains tend to be of the insect variety, and they can be hard to make out on the small screen. Playing this on the GameCube (via the Game Boy player) allowed me to appreciate a lot more of the graphic detail.

Jack can toggle between several effective weapons like a gas gun, a boomerang, and a pumpkin bomb. Defeated enemies drop fish bones that replenish Jack's health. Occasionally you'll find an electric chair that fully recharges his health, and there's usually a scarecrow save point next to it. You'll uncover mini-games, secret items, and unlockable bonus features.

Minor faults include misleading arrow signs, respawning enemies, and too many electrical traps. Otherwise Nightmare Before Christmas is pretty much everything you could ask for in a Halloween game. As an added treat, the lenticular packaging makes for an amazing box cover.

Originally posted 2013/11/7


Pinball of the Dead

Sega (2002)
System: Game Boy Advance
Grade: B+


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screenshot Believe it or not, this was the game that finally convinced me to purchase a Game Boy Advance - my first portable! Being an avid fan of the House of the Dead (HotD) light gun games, I didn't want to miss out on this odd but wonderfully conceived spin-off.

Pinball of the Dead offers three separate vertically-scrolling tables rendered in the distinct House of the Dead style. For the uninitiated, that means plenty of shambling zombies, gallons of blood, and maniacal bosses.

Each table features several sets of flippers and numerous bumpers and targets. The gameplay is fast, fun, and challenging as hell. Tiny zombies (which can be hard to make out) march around the table, and terrific scream effects are heard as they are splattered with the ball.

It's hard to find this kind of instant gratification on the consoles anymore. Each ball begins with a brief first-person target-shooting sequence where you can win a bonus. Pinball's high-octane soundtrack is unmistakable, and there's even some of the trademark bad voice acting.

The first table has a clock-tower theme, and its decrepit, weathered look makes it my favorite. The second has a sterile "scientific lab" look, and it doesn't offer as much to do. The third table is a real treat, constructed entirely of human flesh! Now there's something you don't see everyday!

Sega didn't skimp on options either, allowing you to customize every aspect of the game from the number of balls to the color of the blood. Not only does the cart record high scores, but you can even save games in progress.

If Pinball of the Dead has a weakness, it lies in the lame "tilt" control. Sure it jostles the table a bit, but never enough to affect the ball movement. Pinball of the Dead is a highly underrated game, and House of the Dead fans are sure to have a ball with it.

Originally posted 2004/10/21


Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow

Konami (2003)
System: Game Boy Advance
Grade: A


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screenshot Aria of Sorrow was the final entry of the Game Boy Advance trilogy, and it's arguably the best. Visually it has a lot in common with Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance (Game Boy Advance, 2002), but its story is pretty "out there". Apparently it takes place in 2035 (!), and Dracula's Castle somehow exists inside of a lunar eclipse. Try not to think about it too much or your head might explode.

Instead of recycling the same monsters, this game provides fresh, "remixed" versions. The staggering zombies are now flailing their arms and dripping with blood. Some defeated enemies go up in flames, while others go down in a fountain of blood. There's a lot of scenic outdoor areas, and I love the sight of distant bats fluttering in front of that pink moon.

Your weapon of choice is a sword, which means you'll need to be extra precise. My favorite throwing weapon is the spear. Not only does it deal substantial damage, but as long as it remains stuck in the floor enemies will incur additional damage by touching it. It's the gift that keeps on giving! You can also absorb abilities from monsters you slay. For example, you'll gain the ability to float on ghostly wings using the right trigger.

Besides the usual suspects, you encounter killer dolls, transforming witches, and waltzing ghosts that call to mind Disney's Haunted Mansion. The death animations are amazing. Just before slaying the spider-woman, her hair goes absolutely nuts. When you take down a Minosaur, his fallen ax gets lodged in the floor. Bosses include the grotesque "Creaking skull" (a giant skeleton torso) and the "Headhunter" who swaps heads to assume different identities.

Aria's levels are constructed like a real castle, from the vertigo-inducing bell towers to the depths of the lower dungeons. Its bizarre storyline may be a weak link, and the contemporary dialog tends to understate the urgency of the apocalyptic circumstances.

Aria of Sorrow has a different feel from the previous Castlevanias but I like it a lot. The game provides less resistance and more raw carnage, making it easy to get into the flow. In terms of pure playability, I'd rank it above most other 2D Castlevanias, including Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (Playstation, 1996).

Originally posted 2024/11/19


Castlevania: Circle of the Moon

Konami (2001)
System: Game Boy Advance
Grade: D


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screenshot As the first Castlevania game for the Game Boy Advance, Circle of the Moon landed with a thud! The visuals may suggest classic Castlevania but the stages are terrible. There are too many huge open areas with diagonal stairways running up each wall. These central corridors branch out to repetitive zones with lots of dead ends. These sprawling levels may have you longing for the linear gameplay of the NES games.

Marginal controls make it hard to attack at the top of your jump. That's a problem because everything seems just a tad bit out of reach. The first stage is infested with "ceiling-crawler worms" which are impossible to avoid and poisonous to boot!

Many platforms are extremely narrow, which wouldn't be so objectionable if they weren't required for running jumps. And oh how I despise how pesky enemies like bats will regenerate before you even leave the room. They don't do much damage but the way they knock you back can be infuriating.

Circle of the Moon's save points are poorly-placed. After defeating the surprisingly difficult first boss, I frantically searched for a save point, but with none in the vicinity I succumbed to an exceptionally painful death.

The scenery is dominated by bland gray stone walls but occasionally you'll bask in the glow of a big, full moon. When peering through the windows you might even catch a glimpse of an upcoming boss, like a wolf that shoots freakin' lasers from its mouth.

On a positive note, the organ music has a haunting quality, and the fact that you can collect cards that trigger effects adds depth. But Circle of the Moon feels very uneven, with too many "what now?" moments. If it's any consolation, its shortcomings were fully addressed in the two subsequent Game Boy Advance Castlevania titles.

Originally posted 2024/11/19


Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance

Konami (2002)
System: Game Boy Advance
Grade: B+


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screenshot After the disappointing slog of Castlevania: Circle of the Moon (Konami, 2001), Harmony of Dissonance feels like a breath of fresh air. The tone is lighter, the graphics more colorful, and the music upbeat. Much like Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (Playstation, 1997), you're a vampire hunter exploring a mansion that sprawls in every direction.

You're armed with a trusty whip of considerable range, and you can even twiddle around with it like Super Castlevania IV (SNES, 1991). Memorable animations include lizardmen lunging with their swords, barely missing you with the tip of their blades. I like how skeletons raise their dukes to taunt you. And it's oh-so satisfying when you strike down hulking guards, watching them go up in flames while collapsing.

Each stage is a work of art, adorned with ornate architecture and massive sculptures. Subtle background details include corpses hanging in the distance or the shadow of a floating eyeball lingering behind a curtain. Rotation effects are used to good measure, such as when a pile of junk reconfigures itself into a towering knight as if it were a Transformer. There's one area where you defeat a huge knight, sending him tumbling down several flights of stairs to break open a blocked passage.

The music however is surprisingly weak. Not only are these tunes less-inspired that the gothic compositions of old, but a few are downright abrasive! The soundtrack would have benefitted from more harmony and less dissonance.

At first you may get lost in the endless corridors and stairways, but once you obtain the map it's smooth sailing. The deep gameplay incorporates all sorts of weapons, spellbooks, and artifacts. As you amass powers the possibilities increase exponentially. Fast, forgiving, and fun, Harmony of Dissonance has an exuberant quality that gave the series a much-needed shot in the arm.

Originally posted 2024/11/19


Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Wrath of the Darkhul King

THQ (2003)
System: Game Boy Advance
Grade: B-


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screenshot Although cut from the same cloth as its predecessor (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Game Boy Color, 2000), Wrath of the Darkhul King offers a far more interesting brand of hack-n-slash action. The characters are rendered in a slick pseudo-3D style, and Buffy herself looks a lot like she did in the TV show! This girl has a slew of weapons at her disposal, including axes, crossbows, crosses, holy water, and of course, wooden stakes.

Since each weapon is limited in supply, you're forced to experiment with whatever's available, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Just be sure not to accidentally hit that poorly-placed "quit to main menu" option when perusing the weapon selection screen! Oddly enough, the worst part of the game is its unforgiving training stage, which forces you to execute some unreasonably difficult jumps towards the end.

The game gains traction after that, offering a nice balance of combat, puzzles, and secrets to discover. I really like how you have to stab a vampire directly in his heart to kill him - just like in real life! The cemetery, museum, and forest locations are mildly interesting, but the city areas tend to be repetitive and dull. Likewise, the underground crypts look like every platform game you've ever played, with their maze-like layouts and spiked pits.

The production values are commendable, with a foreboding soundtrack and impressive cut-scenes. Not only do these scenes feature still photos of the show's actors, but there's a lot of funny text dialogue to go along with them. It's not for everyone, but fans of the television show may be pleasantly surprised.

Originally posted 2008/9/30


Game Gear Games

The Addams Family

Flying Edge (1991)
System: Game Gear
Grade: C+


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screenshot Having recently reviewed The Addams Family (NES, 1991), I recognized this as a close port. The characters are actually larger and more detailed in this portable version (funny how often that is the case). In this gothic platformer you'll explore graveyards, crypts, and a sprawling mansion in a quest to save your family members. Along the way you'll be subjected to a looping rendition of the Addams Family theme.

You begin in a dark graveyard, bouncing off monster plants and floating ghosts in order to obtain the key to the house. I couldn't help but notice that the collision detection for the pouncing is seriously unforgiving. If you're not perfectly centered on an enemy when you come down, you'll hear an annoying squeal as your health bar takes a hit.

Once inside the mansion, the possibilities expand as there are dozens of richly-detailed rooms to explore. The kid's room is decorated with posters and the kitchen has shelves of dishes along with possessed utensils that fly around the room. Other rooms feel more contrived. Why is there an ice level with penguins? Is this a giant freezer? How am I supposed to dodge those falling stalactites while slipping all over the place?

The jump controls could be better. If you land on the very edge of a platform there's a good chance you'll fall right through. Unlike the graveyard stage, most enemies are impervious to attack and must simply be avoided. Gomez is larger than on the NES, making for a big target. How can he possibly dodge those white balls being thrown out of the windows?

Pressing pause lets you view your items and score, but it would make more sense to flash your score at the end of the game. The Addams Family is a decent platformer with plenty of rooms to explore and puzzles to solve, but if the bad collision detection doesn't drive you mad, that unrelenting music just might.

Originally posted 2023/10/16


Vampire: Master of Darkness

Sega (1993)
System: Game Gear
Grade: A-


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screenshot I don't know what the story is behind Master of Darkness, but it looks and plays a heck of a lot like Castlevania, and that is a good thing. Vampire takes place in the late 1800's, and you control a well-dressed fellow with the odd name of Ferdinand Social. The turn-of-the-century London scenery is quite realistic and conveys a nice atmosphere. There's plenty of platform jumping, but nothing too frustrating, and there are plenty of weapons hidden behind white masks.

Stages include the Thames river, a cemetery, a laboratory, and my personal favorite, the wax museum. This museum stage reminded me of an old horror flick I watched as a kid called "House of Wax" starring Vincent Price. That movie was creepy, and this stage recreates the spine-tingling chills of seeing wax figures come to life. Other monsters in the game, including zombies, skeletons, and wolves, are large and nicely animated.

The control scheme is identical to Castlevania - one button jumps and the other attacks, and pushing up while firing engages your special weapon. With the exception of navigating the stairs, the control is right on the money. Even the music is sinister and well orchestrated. Vampire is really an amazing game, and probably one of the best titles for the Game Gear. I only wish a password feature was included so it wasn't always necessary to start from the beginning.

Originally posted 2004/2/16


Bram Stoker's Dracula

Sony (1992)
System: Game Gear
Grade: B


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screenshot This Game Gear version of Bram Stoker's Dracula is much easier to swallow than the Genesis edition. More like Bram Stoker's Dracula (NES, 1991), this game has an enticing simplicity to it. Having the default difficulty set to easy doesn't hurt either.

Dracula is based on the stylish 1992 Coppola film. You play as John Harker (Keanu Reeves) forging over the Transylvanian countryside, jumping through caverns, and dashing through trap-laden castles. Harker's goofy outfit makes him look like a hippy wearing a tiara.

Harker can jump a country mile, making it easy to circumvent lava pools, timed spikes, and collapsing ledges. Your default knife-slash is fine but you'll often pick up weapons like axes or rocks. Axes move in an annoying arc, often looping over some bat I'm trying to hit. Other foes include wispy spirits, zombies, skeletons, and floating hands. Who are these red-headed dudes running around with knives? Am I in Transylvania or West Virginia?

There are a lot of icons and power-ups, but they appear in cheesy-looking, question mark boxes like something out of a Mario game. After slashing them your prize floats upward so you have to jump and grab it. It sucks when you get distracted and it floats away.

Bram Stoker's Dracula has a pick-up-and-play quality I like in a portable title. The controls are remarkably crisp and the music is creepy enough. It's difficult to find parallels to the film, but that doesn't seem to matter when you're having this much fun.

Originally posted 2021/10/3


Tiger Game.com Games

Resident Evil 2

Tiger (1998)
System: Tiger Game.com
Grade: B


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screenshot A 3D survival horror title is a tall order for the Game.com, but this turned out to be a pleasant surprise. I was expecting a simple side-scroller, but this is a full-blown 3D adventure. It turns out that Resident Evil's slow, deliberate pace is a perfect match for a system that tends to run games at a slow, deliberate pace. You begin on a city street with a few staggering zombies nearby.

Unlike the console versions, the camera is fixed and usually provides a side angle. The characters scale nicely and the depth perception isn't bad. Walking around is slow going (especially when you're injured) but the locations are reasonably small. One thing I do hate is when you walk onto a new screen and discover you're standing right next to a zombie! You don't have time to react and usually take some mandatory damage.

The status screen comes complete with inventory controls, a map, and a health meter. Switching weapons is confusing but I got the hang of it. The map is critical because the scenery tends to be very faint. This makes the characters stand out, but makes it hard to locate doors in the background.

The monsters look sharp and digitized sound effects feature realistic groans and voice samples. And yes, the game includes a save function. I can't imagine sticking this one out to the bitter end, but it's interesting to see how Resident Evil 2 was effectively revamped to fit this system.

Originally posted 2013/7/7


Nintendo DS Games

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Sacrifice (Europe)

505 Games (2009)
System: Nintendo DS
Grade: C+


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screenshot As a longtime fan of the television series I feel it's my personal responsibility to review each and every Buffy game in existence - even if that means importing from England! Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Sacrifice is a fully-licensed product and it shows. You get superb character likenesses, excellent graphics, and a fantastic audio track.

Much the original Resident Evil (PS1, 1996) the pre-rendered 3D scenery looks nearly photorealistic. The problem is, the camera angles are fixed and change abruptly as you move from place to place. Particularly when running it can be disconcerting as hell, especially if you get stuck between two areas. A green arrow helps keep you headed in the right direction and there's also a helpful map.

Buffy can perform melee attacks, use weapons, cast spells, and even administer fatalities. Unfortunately the game relies heavily on touch screen controls. Worse yet, they require use of the stylus, so you have to take your fingers off the buttons! The opening stage takes place at Sunnydale High which is crawling with trenchcoat-wearing vampires. While enemies are in close proximity the game plays blood-curdling music overlaid with mysterious whispering. Very cool.

Defeating enemies takes practice. Trading blows will get you nowhere so learn to use combos, spells, and weapons. In addition to exploration and combat, there are some surprisingly enjoyable mini-games that let you pick locks and solve circuits. The witty dialog is reminiscent of the show and the game incorporates memorable villains like Caleb and the skinless Warren Mears.

Sacrifice is so ambitious it actually tries to incorporate first-person modes. This is where the game goes off the rails. You can't see where you're going in this mode and adjusting your view with the stylus is a nightmare. These controls tie your fingers in knots! Sacrifice is far more complicated than it needs to be, but the Buffy faithful will appreciate its fine production values and attention to detail.

Originally posted 2017/10/21



Touch The Dead

Virgin Play (2007)
System: Nintendo DS
Grade: F


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screenshot At first blush, Touch the Dead seems like a pleasant surprise. I like how it attempts to emulate the fast-paced light-gun action of House of the Dead, as you tap the screen with the stylus to blast "zombies gone wild" in a penitentiary. Incidentally, the game spells it "penitenciary" - and this typo is a telltale sign of a budget title! The game offers a first-person view as you automatically roam around prison cell blocks, offices, and underground sewers. Sometimes you can shoot an arrow sign to alter your direction.

Touch the Dead's graphics are Playstation One quality, with angular zombies and pixelated surfaces. On the small screen however, this lack of detail isn't a big deal. The shooting controls are responsive and exact, although having to "drag" ammo across the screen to reload is annoying. For the first two stages I was thinking "wow - this game could get interesting if I ever get out of this boring prison".

Unfortunately, that never happened, as I was doomed to eternally traverse its endless empty rooms and hallways. Is this the best they could come up with? It's not even scary! All you do is blast the same two zombies over and over again - a fat one and a skinny one. The one exception is the zombie that throws his head at you (please kids, don't try this at home). There are supposed to be a few alternate weapons besides the pistol, but I could never find any. Touch of the Dead had the potential to be fun, but it falters badly due to an astounding lack of creativity.

Originally posted 2007/10/21




Resident Evil: Deadly Silence

Capcom (2006)
System: Nintendo DS
Grade: C-


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screenshot I've always been a rabid fan of the Resident Evil series, and Deadly Silence is basically a portable version of the 1996 Playstation original. While it remains a terrific game after all of these years, there's really no justification for porting it to a portable system like the DS.

Sure, the DS is capable of rendering graphics comparable to the PS1, but a lot of detail is lost on that small screen. The meticulously detailed rooms of the original seem watered down, and you'll be squinting to see small items. Let's face it, a survival horror classic like Resident Evil deserves to be played on a full-sized TV with the lights out.

In addition to the original version, you can also try the new "rebirth mode", which incorporates some touch screen functionality in the form of first-person knife sequences. It's fun to poke and slash creeps with the stylus, and it made me wonder how a light gun game might work on the DS. Another nice feature is the ability to view the house map at all times on the upper screen.

Like the original game, there are plenty of anxious moments that will make you jump, but the default green blood looks cheesy! Deadly Silence also includes multi-player cooperative and competitive modes, but I didn't test them out. I love Resident Evil, but it's hard to recommend this miniature version. At its core, this is a solid game, but not a good fit for the DS.

Originally posted 2006/3/17




Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow

Konami (2005)
System: Nintendo DS
Grade: A


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screenshot You really can't go wrong with a 2D Castlevania game, and Dawn of Sorrow is nicely suited to the DS. Instead of having to constantly switch to the map screen (as you do in every other Castlevania game), it's conveniently displayed on the upper screen at all times. Dawn of Sorrow even makes use of the touch tablet, letting you crack ice with the stylus, or draw patterns to open "magic seals". Yeah, it's a gimmick, but at least it's something.

Other than that, the gameplay is pure Castlevania. Playing the role of a vampire hunter, you collect items, activate abilities, and upgrade attributes while plowing through legions of undead minions and gigantic bosses. The snowy village scenery looks absolutely stunning, although the modern cars seem a bit out of place. The graphics are slightly upgraded from the Gameboy Advance, but I had to hold them up next to each other to see a difference.

There are a few eye-catching effects, including slashed zombies that cleanly split in half, and mirrors that reflect the walls you're looking through. Also included is a two-player mode that involves racing through custom-made castle rooms. Dawn of Sorrow is as enjoyable as any Castlevania game I've ever played, and it will probably clock more time on my DS than any other title.

Originally posted 2005/11/20




Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia

Konami (2008)
System: Nintendo DS
Grade: D+


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screenshot Although visually enticing, this is one of the more unsatisfying chapters in the endless Castlevania saga. This time around you get to play as a hot babe trying to track down some no-good bastard (I may be simplifying the plot a bit, but probably not). You'll explore picturesque locations including an ornate monastery and a quaint township with flowing fountains and beautiful architecture. When you enter one of the houses, the degree of detail is astounding. I don't know who took the time to incorporate so much exquisite detail in each room, but bravo for that guy!

Less interesting locations include a prison, forest, and boatyard. The boat stage uses angular polygons to simulate waves, and that just looks awful! The prison is another low-light as you struggle to avoid pesky spotlights to prevent all hell from breaking loose. Ecclesia's gameplay failed to endear itself to me. Guess who your first enemy is? It's none other than that sorry-ass, bone-tossing skeleton who appears in pretty much every Castlevania game! Has Konami even changed that sprite since 1988? C'mon man!

Other adversaries include pot-bellied zombies, screaming banshees, and giant floating heads. Some of the more annoying foes include flying horse heads that keep respawning, and floating tentacle monsters that lift you by the head. There are too many long hallways with the same creeps popping up over and over, giving you the worst case of deja-vu ever.

Collecting glyphs imbues you with new powers, but the one that lets you slingshot yourself around is just plain dumb. Yeah - I'm talking to you Magnes glyph. You are really dumb - for real! Fans will enjoy Order of Ecclesia's rich artwork and sweeping musical score, but the gameplay feels stale. I think I'm finally starting to get tired of these cookie-cutter Castlevania adventures.

Originally posted 2010/11/23



Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin

Konami (2006)
System: Nintendo DS
Grade: C+


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screenshot I tend to enjoy these Castlevania games, but this one is overrated. At its core, Portrait of Ruin follows the standard Castlevania formula with expansive castles to explore, a wide range of demonic foes, and tons of special weapons and magic items. In an attempt to try something new, Portrait lets you control two characters at once using a "tag team" mechanic. You can switch between Jon and Charlotte at the touch of a button, or have them fight side by side.

This opens up possibilities for more elaborate puzzles and team-based attacks. I've seen this gimmick employed many times before (Knuckles Chaotix on the Sega 32X comes to mind), and it's usually not very effective. In this case it adds a layer of complexity at the expense of the fun factor. Non-intuitive controls make solving even simple puzzles with your team inordinately complex (the mine cart switch comes to mind).

Charlotte's primary weapon is a book - yes a book! Maybe in the next game she can attack monsters by hitting them with her purse! Otherwise, there's not much to fault with Portrait of Ruin. The graphics are rich and well defined, with a few unusual enemies like the guy who professes his love for Charlotte and explodes into roses upon his demise.

Typical of the mammoth bosses, you'll face an enormous knight with a hideous disembodied blue head. It's fun to upgrade your characters with new items you find, and I like the way portraits are used as gateways to new "worlds". Portrait of Ruin is not my favorite Castlevania title, but fans looking for something new may enjoy its novel approach.

Originally posted 2007/10/21



Sony PSP Games

MediEvil Resurrection

Sony (2005)
System: PSP
Grade: C


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screenshot This is why people found it so hard to get excited about the PSP: too few original titles! Medievil Resurrection is just a "reimagining" of the original MediEvil (PS1, 1998). I knew it seemed familiar! The game stars a skeletal knight resurrected to redeem his legacy by fighting zombies, demons, and ghouls in graveyards, mausoleums, and castles. The villain is a creepy jester dude with a lanky body and exaggerated facial features.

You'll explore spooky but highly-constrained locations while hacking away at monsters and collecting runes to unlock new areas. I like those maniacs running around in pillories! There are simple puzzles, books on podiums that provide clues, and statues that let you purchase items. The tongue-in-cheek voice acting is well done and the operatic music has a macabre flair.

While it may be a remake, I will admit Resurrection's graphics are much improved and the widescreen helps too. Close camera angles reveal detailed scenery and characters that are far less angular than the original game. The game can feel claustrophobic at times, and it's sometimes hard to differentiate hallways or determine your proximity from dangerous spikes.

But the thing I really hate is that omni-present fly-swatter weapon. Occasionally you'll upgrade to a sword or club, but they quickly wear out and then it's back to that worthless fly swatter (arm, whatever). The controls aren't great either. Maybe that weird thumb-slider is to blame, but attempting to position yourself in front of enemies is clumsy at best. The most effective strategy is to back up against a wall and attack continuously as enemies funnel towards you.

The ability to purchase items would be great if money wasn't so hard to come by. When it comes to PSP games MediEvil Resurrection is par for the course. It has a nice Halloween vibe but it's a pretty tough sell for those of us who have already been there and done that.

Originally posted 2020/10/2


Dead Head Fred

D3Publisher (2007)
System: PSP
Grade: D


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screenshot This budget title is a pretty run-of-the-mill by PSP standards, following in the footsteps of morbid platformers like Death Jr. and Medievil. You control a reanimated corpse on a quest for revenge, with the main gimmick being your ability to swap heads on the fly. You have several to choose from at a given time, each with their own powers. One lets you jump high, another lets you suck in liquids, another makes you stronger, etc.

We've all seen this type of thing before. The game gets off to a questionable start with a lengthy introduction that concludes with the lead character dropping the F-bomb. The animation is nice, but the scenery features a lot of non-descript hallways and plain-looking rooms. Dead Head Fred incorporates hand-to-hand combat, puzzle solving, and platform jumping. It isn't terribly original, but the pacing is good and the effective musical score often mixes a playful piano with more ominous tones. You can save your progress at any time.

The game seems playable enough at first, but you end up struggling with an unruly camera and some terribly unforgiving platform jumping. In one stage you need to jump across a series of sinking lily pads, and the degree of frustration is almost enough to award the game an instant F. A minor title like this does not merit that degree of aggravation. Even at a budget price, I'd have a hard time recommending Dead Head Fred to anybody.

Originally posted 2008/10/25


Death Jr.

Konami (2005)
System: PSP
Grade: F


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screenshot Death Jr. offends my video game sensibilities in so many ways I don't even know where to start. It stars a diminutive skull-headed kid battling his way through a series of uninspired stages to save his friends. Death Jr. tries to convey an off-kilter sense of humor, but the dialogue comes off flat, and Jr's freaky "friends" are more disturbing than comical.

The action consists of the mindless shooting and hacking of regenerating creeps while trekking through angular, banal locales including a museum and a school (snore). I still don't know what "Meat World" is supposed to be, but it sure is boring! Ghouls relentlessly pummel you with projectiles, and these monsters are so poorly rendered that you can't even tell what they're supposed to be!

But the game's main offense is how poorly it plays. The targeting system wreaks havoc on the framerate, adjusting the camera is a constant struggle, and the clipping problems are unforgivable. I can't tell you the number of times I was able to see past (or move through) "broken" walls.

The minor-key musical score isn't bad, and you can save anytime, but these bells and whistles can't make up for the atrocious gameplay. I would have given Death Jr. points for originality, but then I remembered there was a Medi-Evil game for the PSP, and that has to be better than this.

Originally posted 2006/10/23


Castlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles

Konami (2007)
System: PSP
Grade: A


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screenshot I had expected last year's Ultimate Ghouls and Ghosts to be the definitive PSP game, but that one let me down. Castlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles, however, is the real deal. This is easily the best reason yet to own a PSP. The original Dracula X was released in Japan for the PC Engine (Turbo Duo compatible) in 1993, and hardcore gamers have long regarded this Japanese import as the best Castlevania game ever made. With Chronicles, now everybody can see what all the fuss was about (well, PSP owners at least).

Dracula X Chronicles is a remake of Dracula X, spicing up its classic 2D gameplay with stylish 3D (yet unobtrusive) visuals and enhanced cinematics. The controls are fairly simplistic (the lack of a dash move is glaring), but you can't question the addictive gameplay and superb stage designs. Unlike the endless labyrinths of the newer Castlevania titles, Dracula X is more linear but brimming with distinctive locations and memorable sequences.

Enemies include floating eyeballs (with tails of course), miniature hunchbacks, medusa heads, and skeletal dragons. Bosses you'll encounter include a leaping werewolf, a massive minotaur, and a headless horseman. This updated Dracula X alone would be enough to justify a purchase, but wait - there's more.

The original Dracula X is an unlockable, along with the critically acclaimed Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (Playstation, 1997)! Question: Why in the [expletive] are these awesome games locked? I mean, you paid for the [expletive] things, and they're featured on the [expletive] box, and now you need to unlock them? I'm sorry Konami, but that was a real bonehead move. Even so, I can't let an idiotic decision like that rain on the parade, because Castlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles may be the best hand-held game you'll ever play.

Originally posted 2007/11/23


Darkstalkers Chronicle: The Chaos Tower

Capcom (2004)
System: PSP
Grade: B-


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screenshot Considering Sony's historical resistance to 2D games, Darkstalkers Chronicle seems an odd choice for a PSP launch title. But even Sony would have to admit that this one-on-one, 2D fighter does a good job of showing off the sharp graphics and vibrant colors of the PSP display. A short video introduces all of the characters, and it's a lot of fun to watch! In addition to a vampire, werewolf, and Frankenstein monster, there are a number of unconventional characters including a girl dressed as a bee and a samurai with a face in his chest.

The Darkstalkers brand of gameplay is a slugfest that borrows liberally from the Street Fighter 2 formula. The basic moves consist of three punches and three kicks, but there are plenty of special moves - mostly magical in nature. One of my longtime criticisms of the series is how certain characters (like the mummy) change their shape to inflict a lot of cheap hits. That's still the case, but you have to love the game's responsive controls, fast pacing, and ample eye candy. The backgrounds tend to be dark and imaginative, although subtle details tend to get lost on the small screen.

When this title was first released for the PSP, critics complained about the controls, but I suspect that had more to do with the stiff thumbpad on the original PSP. Playing the game on the later models presents no problems at all. Another criticism I recall is the load times, but waiting 10 seconds between matches didn't seem so bad to me. Before you play however, you may want to consider bumping up the difficulty via the options screen. At the default level, I breezed through the entire arcade mode without losing one match!

Originally posted 2009/9/27


Ultimate Ghosts 'N Goblins

Capcom (2006)
System: PSP
Grade: C


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screenshot As a longtime fan of the Ghosts 'N Goblins (G&G) games, I've anxiously awaited this "Ultimate" edition for months on end. For the uninitiated, G&G is a classic side-scroller starring a knight forging his way through graveyards, burning villages, and caves while battling monsters and avoiding traps. This Ultimate version perfectly captures the visual and aural splendor of the series, with lush, gorgeous graphics and a first-rate orchestrated soundtrack. I'm grateful that Capcom retained the classic side-scrolling 2D style. For my money, this game looks better than just about any 3D game on the market.

The action never lets up as you're constantly ambushed by monsters, including ephemeral ghosts, club-wielding trolls, giant spiders, and man-eating plants. Yet in the G&G tradition, nothing appears without some kind of warning. It sounds like a dream come true, but don't ditch your Sega Genesis Ghouls and Ghosts game just yet! The number of objects attacking at any given time can be pretty insane, and I would question the designer's "more is better" approach.

Ultimate Ghosts 'N Goblins doesn't play nearly as well as it looks, mainly due to its abysmal controls. The old G&G games were always known for their extreme difficulty, but you could never blame the controls. In this edition, our hero takes long leaps instead of short hops, which is probably the worst idea since the New Coke. It's frustratingly hard to gauge your jumps, and you often leap right over the object you wish to land on - like the gravestone that's right in front of you!

The situation is further exacerbated by the painfully stiff PSP controls. It's really heart-breaking when you consider how much this game had going for it. Not only is it substantially longer than its predecessors, but you can save your progress between stages and there are tons of weapons, items, and secrets to uncover. Ultimate Ghosts 'N Goblins is still playable and very easy on the eyes, but sadly, it's not nearly as fun as it should have been.

Originally posted 2006/10/3


Nintendo 3DS Games

Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon

Nintendo (2013)
System: Nintendo 3DS
Grade: B+


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screenshot Dark Moon is the long-awaited follow-up to Luigi's Mansion (GameCube, 2001). As in the original game, Luigi creeps through haunted houses while stunning ghosts with his flashlight and vacuuming them up with his "Poltergust 5000". The scares are minimal, but the decrepit scenery and organ music really bring out the Halloween theme. The 3D graphics give the furniture a plush look and add depth to the transparent ghosts.

The act of catching ghosts is a lot like fishing, and I love the new mechanism that lets you snap them up with a well-timed button press. Burning massive spider webs with fire is awesome, and the thought-provoking puzzles are satisfying. You can tell the designers were real pros, gradually introducing new concepts and building upon them. The small scale of the game is refreshing, since it's possible to explore every little nook and cranny of each cozy little room.

Little details make all the difference. In the boss encounter with the giant spider, it's hilarious how the spider panics when he sees fire headed towards his web. Often you can peek through cracks and windows to spy on ghosts causing mischief in the next room over. Unfortunately the idea of moving around the system to adjust your viewing angle doesn't work well, as you tend to lose focus of the 3D effect.

Another bone of contention is how the game only saves between missions. There were times when I would pick up this game at bedtime and end up having to play an hour just to reach the next save point! That said, Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon is probably the most addictive title I've played on the 3DS. Sleep can wait. After all, these ghosts aren't going to catch themselves.

Originally posted 2013/10/20


Resident Evil: Revelations

Capcom (2012)
System: Nintendo 3DS
Grade: B+


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screenshot I was less-than-enthused about Resident Evil: The Mercenaries (3DS, 2011), but Revelations feels more like a good old-fashioned Resident Evil romp. The action takes place on a plush ocean liner and the nautical theme is refreshing. It's not the first horror game to be set on a ship, as Carrier (Dreamcast, 2000) and Resident Evil Dead Aim (PS2, 2003) have also done it - but not as well. The icon used to start the game is a small cast iron box with a big eyeball looking through its round glass window - creepy!

The star of the game is Jill Valentine, and her breasts look even better in 3D. I love the opening sequence in which Jill and her partner board a ship in the middle of a violent storm. The driving rain and sound of churning water really helps set the mood. The ship turns out to be an ideal setting for survival horror with its claustrophobic hallways, dark rooms, and creaky doors. The monsters are these generic white creatures that shamble around and try to give you the big French kiss. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer my monsters to be a little bit more disgusting.

Revelations is nicely paced for a portable title, and having a recap between chapters is a nice touch. While the game has an old-school feel, you get all the modern conveniences like 180-degree turning, auto-mapping (on the lower screen), and an auto-save (which says "Saving", leaving no doubt). As good as the game is, there are a few issues. First, the idea of turning the screen red as you take damage is ill conceived. Your eyes need to work hard enough to play a 3D title, and having your vision obstructed is just painful.

Another problem is the crappy map system, which makes it hard to reconcile the 3D map with the 2D ones. Sometimes there's one not-so-obvious item you need to make progress, and you'll waste a lot of time scouring the ship for it. Still, Revelations is compelling, and the water theme means this is a zombie game you can enjoy in the summer too.

Originally posted 2012/7/4


Resident Evil: The Mercenaries

Capcom (2011)
System: Nintendo 3DS
Grade: C


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screenshot It's a total rehash, but that doesn't mean I didn't have some fun playing this. Resident Evil Mercenaries recycles scenes and enemies from Resident Evil 5. That's the game where you shot black zombies in Africa ya racist bastard! Just kidding. I like the general format of Mercenaries. Its short, timed stages are well suited for portable gaming. I also like the idea of playing each stage for high score. The problem is, you may not have a burning desire to replay these stages.

The graphics are sharp but the bland scenery doesn't lend itself well to 3D. I wish Capcom had based this off of a more traditional Resident Evil instead. As with many first-person shooters I tend to contort my body while playing, making it easy to lose the 3D effect. Frankly the 3D doesn't add anything to this game so you might as well shut it off.

The aiming controls are pretty tight however and the red laser sight works great. I love how you can approach stunned enemies and bludgeon them at the press of a button. I find it amusing how zombies run toward you at full speed but then suddenly stop in front of you - pausing long enough for you to shoot them in the face. It's convenient!

Bonus items are hard to spot in the scenery, and as soon as you're prompted to pick something up, you've already walked past it. One object you're not likely to miss are those pink snowmen that extend your time. What the heck is that all about? Mercenaries could have benefited from a little tuning. That bat/scorpion boss took me about 50 attempts to kill! When you shoot a boss in his "weak spot" at point blank range 20 times and he doesn't die, something is obviously wrong.

One interesting bonus feature is the ability to play one stage from the upcoming Resident Evil: Revelations title. It takes place on a ship at sea on a stormy night - a concept that may seem familiar to those who remember Resident Evil Dead Aim (PS2, 2003) or Carrier (Dreamcast, 2000). The creaky hull and narrow corridors convey a creepy sense of isolation, not unlike the early Resident Evil titles. It has potential.

Mercenaries however will only keep you busy until you've unlocked the stages. It's worth noting that Capcom took a lot of flack for not providing an option to reset the high scores for the cartridge. If you're buying this game used, you may want to be aware of that.

Originally posted 2011/10/15


Sony Vita Games

Silent Hill: Book of Memories

Konami (2012)
System: Playstation Vita
Grade: F


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screenshot Silent Hill games are known for their intense atmosphere, mind-bending environments, and psychological horror. Book of Memories feels like a shallow arcade game trying to capitalize on the Silent Hill name. Instead of a harrowing third-person adventure, you're trapped in a generic maze, viewing the action from high overhead.

The pale zombies, winged demons, and hell hounds would probably look pretty creepy - if only you could see them. But the distant vantage point makes you feel detached from the action. That may be for the best, considering the cut-scenes reveal graphics that are barely Playstation 2 quality. The voice acting isn't convincing, and the entire premise is pretty silly.

That said, I tried to enjoy this weird Silent Hill knock-off. As you move from room to room you find weapons like steel pipes and meat cleavers which you use to attack a few waves of monsters before earning an item, key, or puzzle piece. There's plenty of spraying blood, largely because these creeps can absorb about 20 hits each! I prefer a melee weapon like the meat cleaver over a gun, because you can usually lay into several enemies at a time. There's little tension but a heck of a lot of repetition. Is that me screaming like a girl when I take a hit? That's just embarrassing.

The auto-map on the corner of the screen is an absolute necessity because all the rooms look exactly the same! As with all Vita games, there's no manual, because the controls (like hitting the tiny select button to turn on your flashlight) are common sense, right? There are no checkpoints, and you only have one life bar.

I hate how you lose your weapons between levels, and your guy doesn't automatically reload his gun. In many cases you're prompted to select something on the screen (during the action) and that's frustrating because the circles are tiny and my fingers are too big! Book of Memories is an aggravating experience, but despite of my rage I am still just a rat in a cage.

Originally posted 2013/10/19


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