Touchdown Fever (NES)
Posted: June 2nd, 2018, 3:53 am
Wow! All I can say is "wow!". And no, that's definitely not a good "wow", it's more like an I-can't-believe-a-game-can-be-this-bad "wow". What a mess Touchdown Fever is! It's almost like they don't know anything about football in Japan.
So a little backstory, I hear Eminem always rapping about his mom. Well, did his mom ever subject him to "Touchdown Fever" over there in 8-Mile? Mine did! Sure, we had a nice house and all, I never had to deal with gangs and poverty, but c'mon! Touchdown Fever. I think we can all agree on who had it rougher.
Probably best just to bullet point this:
-Chicago wears pink! PINK! This game came out in February 1991, the Bears were coming off an 11-5 season, won the division, and even won a playoff game! And they wear pink! My Lord!
-At least the mascots seem to be correct. Is that not a bear?
Although it seems to be a cutesy little Teddy bear! C'mon already, 11-5, division champs, playoff win. Monsters of the freaking Midway!
Is that not a dolphin?
Ok, I know they went 12-4 and won a playoff game, but it's hard making a dolphin look tough! They got this right.
-A 2-point conversion option. You're not supposed to be able to do this until 1994.
-Probably the most hilarious part is the ref. We used to call him "Burrito Monkey", because he looks like a monkey about to stuff a whole burrito in his mouth:
And he sounds hilarious as well. Seriously, if they tried to make a Steve Urkel on the NES, they would have used this ref's sounds.
-The players look like they're about 16 inches tall. Either that, or each yard marker is spaced 16 feet apart. You run and run and run, get tackled, only to find out that it's now 2nd and 7.
-When a score happens, the team who scored starts dancing oh-so-fabulously, while the team who allowed the score starts crying and pounding on the ground like a kid who didn't get the toy they wanted at Wal-Mart.
-You get 4 "plays" to choose from other than a special teams play, but what difference these actually make is beyond me.
-The music isn't bad at first, but after awhile, I'd rather listen to the Emergency Alert System at 1,500 watts.
Boy oh boy, this game is terrible! At least it's terrible in a hilarious sense, and nothing seems buggy or glitchy, just extremely poor design.
You wanna know the worst part? As a kid, I'd quickly get bored with this, and then I'd pop in "Total Recall" or "Bible Adventures". Looking back on it, I really should have scored better grades and less detentions so that I'd have a leg to stand on when I asked for a Sega Genesis or Super Nintendo. But I really wasn't a very bright kid.
So a little backstory, I hear Eminem always rapping about his mom. Well, did his mom ever subject him to "Touchdown Fever" over there in 8-Mile? Mine did! Sure, we had a nice house and all, I never had to deal with gangs and poverty, but c'mon! Touchdown Fever. I think we can all agree on who had it rougher.
Probably best just to bullet point this:
-Chicago wears pink! PINK! This game came out in February 1991, the Bears were coming off an 11-5 season, won the division, and even won a playoff game! And they wear pink! My Lord!
-At least the mascots seem to be correct. Is that not a bear?
Although it seems to be a cutesy little Teddy bear! C'mon already, 11-5, division champs, playoff win. Monsters of the freaking Midway!
Is that not a dolphin?
Ok, I know they went 12-4 and won a playoff game, but it's hard making a dolphin look tough! They got this right.
-A 2-point conversion option. You're not supposed to be able to do this until 1994.
-Probably the most hilarious part is the ref. We used to call him "Burrito Monkey", because he looks like a monkey about to stuff a whole burrito in his mouth:
And he sounds hilarious as well. Seriously, if they tried to make a Steve Urkel on the NES, they would have used this ref's sounds.
-The players look like they're about 16 inches tall. Either that, or each yard marker is spaced 16 feet apart. You run and run and run, get tackled, only to find out that it's now 2nd and 7.
-When a score happens, the team who scored starts dancing oh-so-fabulously, while the team who allowed the score starts crying and pounding on the ground like a kid who didn't get the toy they wanted at Wal-Mart.
-You get 4 "plays" to choose from other than a special teams play, but what difference these actually make is beyond me.
-The music isn't bad at first, but after awhile, I'd rather listen to the Emergency Alert System at 1,500 watts.
Boy oh boy, this game is terrible! At least it's terrible in a hilarious sense, and nothing seems buggy or glitchy, just extremely poor design.
You wanna know the worst part? As a kid, I'd quickly get bored with this, and then I'd pop in "Total Recall" or "Bible Adventures". Looking back on it, I really should have scored better grades and less detentions so that I'd have a leg to stand on when I asked for a Sega Genesis or Super Nintendo. But I really wasn't a very bright kid.