Wrote this awhile back, & I'm a bit sheepish about posting it. It's a parody of the 1st episode of Pokemon. Some of it may only make sense if you've seen the show & researched the franchise's history, or it may just be silly enough to be fun on its own. I don't know. Anyways, here it is:
Pockemon-A Pokemon Spoof
(The word "Pockemon" was an early attempt to combine "Pocket" and "Monster" into a single word. It was briefly used in Japan.)
(Ash enters Oak's lab.)
Oak: You're late!
Ash: I am? I thought I set my clock...
Oak: Of course you're late! You got excited dreaming about what Pockemon you'd catch, threw you're clock against the wall, & broke it!
Ash: What a dumb plot point...
Oak: Perhaps, but necessary. Pick a Pockemon.
Ash: Alright, I've given this a lot of thought &...(Picks up a monster ball) Bulbasaur! I choose you! (Throws ball; it's empty.)
Oak: Someone already chose that one; try another.
Ash: If Bulbasaur's gone I choose...Squirtle! (The ball's empty.) Urgh!
Oak: Already picked by a trainer who showed up on time.
Oak: He's gone too. And really, this is for the best. If you'd picked one of the normal starters 1/3 of the kids who played the game would've given up on the show after the 1st episode! No, this is what we've got for you. (Takes out Pikachu.)
Ash: It's so cute; it's the best of all!
Oak: I know; that's what our marketing department said!
Ash: But, if it's so cute, won't boys hate it?
Oak: We've worked that out too. Pet it Ash. Go on.
(Ash hesitates, then pets Pikachu. Pikachu shocks Ash, sending Ash flying & filling the room with flashing lights.)
Oak: Perfect! Excellent! So cute girls can't help loving it but with a certain spark which will impress boys too! Good work marketing! Much better than your 1st choice of Clefairy!
Ash: (Getting up, rubbing head.) Uhg...Can't we get rid of the flashing lights? They hurt my head...
Oak: Nonsense! A few flashing lights never hurt anyone! Anime's used flashing lights forever!
Ash: What about that one show with the guy cooking in outer space?
Oak: Never heard of it. (They go outside.) Have fun on your journey Ash! And remember, Get them all! (To himself) That doesn't sound very good...Catch them all, Have them all, (Ash starts to leave.) Got to have them all...Ah, I'll work it out later. (Shouting, waving) Bye Ash! Bye!
(Ash is pulling Pikachu down a path outside of town, in a field.)
Ash: Come on Pikachu. Why won't you follow me? (Ash sits down.) Here, is this better? (Unties Pikachu.)
Pikachu: Pika! (Crosses arms, turns away from Ash.)
Ash: Oh! Pikachu! How I wish you'd open up and...show me your teeth? (Looks off stage.) Is that right?
Crew Member: (Off camera, distant, like he doesn't have his own microphone.) We think that's a translation error.
Ash: Oh, ok. (Pikachu bites Ash's hand.) AH! He's biting me! HE'S BITING ME! GET HIM OFF! GET HIM OFF!
(Crew members mutter from off stage. "See, I told you Clefairy would be better." "Get it off him." "How?" "Has that thing been vaccinated?" etc. The mike boom gets into the shot, the screen flashes white for a second, there's a beep, then the image reappears. Ash has a bandage on his hand. Pikachu's thinner, with slightly different markings.)
Ash: Oh! Pikachu! How I wish you'd open up and tell me your story. (Pikachu opens his mouth.) Not what I meant.
(A bird lands in a field near Ash.)
Ash: Wow! What sort of Pockemon is that? (Gets out Dexter.)
Dexter: Pidge, the bird Pockemon. Perfect for the beginning trainer.
Ash: Pidge? What sort of name is that? Couldn't it be something else? Even Pidgey would be better.
Dexter: Remember, this show is based on a video game. They only have a limited number of characters to use in a name. But I'll tell them your suggestion.
Ash: Oh, ok. (To Pikachu.) It's our lucky day!
(Pikachu ignores Ash.)
Ash: Ahrugh...Looks like I'll have to do this myself. (Picks up a rock & throws it where Pidge landed. Misses, hits another Pockemon.) What's that? (Checks Dexter.)
Dexter: Ho-Boy. That's not Pidge, that's Spear. He's very dangerous. You're in trouble now.
(Spear flies up high, then dives at Pikachu. The camera zooms in on Spear's eye, before switching to a first person view of the attack from Spear's perspective.)
Ash: Wow...I didn't know we had that kind of budget.
Ash: Oh! Right! My line. Why's it attacking Pikachu? Pikachu didn't do anything!
Dexter: Wild Pockemon are jealous of trained Pockemon.
Spear: (Stops flying in mid-air.) What!? (Falls to the ground laughing.) I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't say more than my name, but...HA! "Jealous" HA! That's the funniest thing I've heard since last November when my brother said we should fly to the sun for winter! HA! "Wild Pockemon are jealous of trained Pockemon." *Snort* Ha-Ha! I really can't get over it. Oh, I need help now, if I'm going to accomplish anything. (Turns to tree) Hey guys! Come 'n get it!
(A flock of Spear flies out of the tree carrying plates, forks, knives, napkins, spoons, and finally a long, flowing table cloth.)
Ash: We should run.
(Ash & Pikachu run through the field. The Spear catch up to Pikachu, & begin to set up a picnic, but Ash saves him. They run into the woods, dive off a cliff into a stream, and resurface in front of...)
Misty: Hey! You'll disturb the fish! (Misty slaps Ash.)
Ash: She slapped me...
Crew Member: (Off camera, muffled) Yeah, that was a bit harsh; we'll have to edit it out.
Ash: But it still hurt! (Ash hears the Spear, turns back to the stream, & sees them on the horizon.) They're coming! (Grabs a bike.)
Misty: Hey! That's mine!
Ash: I'll bring it back some day!
(Ash is riding the bike along the road, trying to make it to the nearest city. Rain starts. Ash crashes the bike. He sees Pikachu, lying on the ground hurt.)
Ash: Pikachu...this...can't happen... (Gets up.) I know you don't like me, but I like you. Get into the Monster Ball. It's the only way. After that..after that just trust me! (Turns to the flock of Spear.) I am Ash! And that might not mean much to you now, but one day I'm going to be the greatest Pockemon trainer of all time! I'm going to capture all of you! I'm Ash! Come and get me!
(The Spear dive, but go around Ash to attack Pikachu.)
Ash: Oh...(A Spear flies up to ash from behind. It knocks Ash on the back of his head.) Hey! (Looks at Pikachu.) Arrugh! (Dives into the flock surrounding Pikachu, to break them up.)
Pikachu: Pi! (Looks frightened.) Pikachuuuuuuuuuuuu! (Shoots lightning through everything near him, including Ash.)
(The sun is rising. Ash wakes.)
Ash: (Looks at Pikachu.) Well, we made it. (Gets up. In the sky is a sparkling gold bird Pockemon.) Wow...what's that.
Dexter: I'm glad you asked! (Clears throat.) Presenting! The new Pockemon 2!
Ash: Pockemon 2?
Dexter: Yes, Pockemon 2. Comming soon to a store near you. A new world, with 100 new Pockemon to meet, fight, & catch. New badges! New items! And there will also be a skateboard, in addition to the bike.
Dexter: Something wrong?
Ash: Bike! (Finds & picks up the bike, it's a charred wreck.) Ugh. That girl's going to kill me.
(Ash & Pikachu walk off to the next town on their journey. The image shrinks til it only takes up 1/4 of the screen, moves to the upper left corner of the screen, & the words "To Be Continued" appear in the lower right corner of the screen. Suddenly Oak jumps in front of the screen.)
Oak: Wait! Wait! I've got it! Gotta Catch 'em All! It's perfect! Perfect!
(Cut to Pockerap, with an extra chorus of "Gotta Catch 'em All" added to the start.)
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