Death

[matmico399]

I hope this isn't too grim a topic. But I am 51 and am realizing my mortality. This is not political or religious. But how many of you think about this fairly often. I do believe in an afterlife, but it is still disturbing to think about. What is your opinion?

[VideoGameCritic]

It's funny, when I was young I was terrified at the thought. But as I've gotten older I've actually made peace with the idea. I mean, I'm in no hurry to "go", but I feel as if I've had a good run.

I think Covid has had more of an impact on my thinking. I realize that if you've always wanted to do something, like visit Japan or whatever, start planning NOW, because you never know what the future may bring.

[Breaker]

I'm not sure why, but the thought of death has never worried me. I am certainly not a thrill seeker or risk taker or anything trying to defy death, but it's just never been a concern. At 42, I'm hoping that doesn't change as I get older! I am lucky that both my parents are still around at 72/73, and I still have one grandparent alive at 99. Watching them age is difficult. Even as independent as my 99 year old grandmother is, I don't want to hang around that long!

I have certainly started to think about bucket list items, and where/what I want to see and do before I shuffle off the earth. A big Alaska trip this summer is one that has been talked about often and is finally being pursued. International travel will be trickier until things calm down.

[Robotrek]

I'm 48 now. Crazy to think I hit the 40 landmark recently. 22 years ago I was 26. Just getting into the world. Hasn't felt very long. But in another 22 years I'll be an old man. It's right around the corner.

I do believe in an afterlife (I believe it to be a necessity under the governing laws of our universe) though I'm not sure to WHAT extent it is. I'm not sure WHERE we go, I'm just certain we have to go SOMEWHERE. I won't delve too much into that because of religious implications. But that helps me a lot to come to grips with mortality.

I've had a good run. But I want just a little more.

[ThePixelatedGenocide]

I'm 45. I'm terrified of my death.

Well, not the actual death part. But the dying.

From what I've seen of it, it's often lonely. And painful. And you may just lose parts of important parts of yourself until you're no longer recognizable.

Or until you no longer recognize others.

Which is why I do everything I can, to help those around me become the best version of themselves. Eventually, I'll lose the game of life. But it doesn't matter, so long as my team still has pieces on the board.

Besides, it's kind of liberating, to accept the worst possibilities of the future. Because it means that everything else that scares me either seems really small by comparison...

Or, sometimes, seems really worth doing.

[AtariToday]

I do believe in an afterlife (I believe it to be a necessity under the governing laws of our universe) though I'm not sure to WHAT extent it is. I'm not sure WHERE we go, I'm just certain we have to go SOMEWHERE. I won't delve too much into that because of religious implications. But that helps me a lot to come to grips with mortality.

I agree. Now more than ever do I want to invite you and the rest of the group here to church. Feel free to hit me up with a private message if any of you would like to discuss a religious topic further (I'm a Christian just to be upfront about it)..not really sure how far I'd be able to push the conversation on an open forum such as this as most forums block religious (and political..meh) talk..if it is cool here let me know.
Closing thought: Eternity is an incredibly long time. Where do you want to spend it?

[goldenband]

Regarding death anxiety decreasing as you get older, i read an interesting study about people who lived near a dam. Those who were 10 miles or so downriver worried about the dam breaking, and as you got closer, that level of stress/anxiety increased -- up to a point.

But among those who were very close to the dam, the stress level was unexpectedly lower. And the ones who were closest of all? They were almost completely unaffected.

Why? Because they knew that, if the dam burst, there was nothing they could do about it -- their odds of survival were zero, with no possible course of action that could save them. It wasn't just denial, but more of a deep recognition that the situation was out of their control.

We tend to worry most about things we can control, things where our choices and reactions could make a difference. But accepting that we have no control is at least somewhat liberating, it seems. So I think there's an element of that, as we age.

When we're 25, we're far away from the dam, and feel the pressure of making choices that seem to keep us safer, make the best use of our time, or otherwise favor the instinct telling us I need to be vigilant so I can win this fight even if intellectually we know that's not happening.

Double that number, and the dam is close by, and maybe your perspective shifts.

[jon]

For me, I’m 38 and not quite old enough to think about it although I do a little. What I think about is my family. My grandmother is 98 and my family is getting older. It’s a totally new thing for me and it is unfortunate to think about it.

Pixelated, I didn’t know you were 7 years older than me, lol. Maybe I was the immature one in our arguments.

[Breaker]

Pixelated, I didn’t know you were 7 years older than me, lol. Maybe I was the immature one in our arguments.

The more I experience in life, the surer I am that age has zero correlation to maturity. That's not a slight to either of you in this example, this exchange just made me think of that.

[Voor]

I work in geriatrics, so it’s a daily topic for me. On the flip side, all my parents and grandparents (in their 90s) are alive, so I’ve had very little personal loss

I feel like I have been exceptionally blessed—good health, supportive family, good education, good career, access to things I enjoy....I could go on and on. So with all that, combined with some of the hardships and suffering I’ve seen others endure (with through no fault of their own, or poor choices), I don’t feel like I have reason to complain about anything.

My biggest worry is that I’ll develop dementia or some physical impairment and be a burden to others. I do NOT want that.

I’m also a Christian, and attribute a lot of my blessings and feelings of peace about the subject to that, but I recognize as you age, your perspective does indeed change. I find myself wanting to make sure those around know how much they mean to me. Sometimes it’s awkward (especially for me), but I understand where the feelings come from.

I’ve been wanting to read more about the subject. Only one I’ve read so far is called “everybody wants to to heaven, but nobody wants to die”. Lol. It was pretty good.