Everything I Ever Needed to Know...

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VideoGameCritic
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Everything I Ever Needed to Know...

Postby VideoGameCritic » May 12th, 2021, 5:15 pm

...I learned from video games. I thought it was time after 10 years to feature this again. It's hilarious. I'm really like to add some new entries and screenshots, so feel free to chime in with suggestions!

https://videogamecritic.com/extras/fun/ ... ng.htm?g=3

ThePixelatedGenocide
Posts: 765
Joined: April 29th, 2015, 9:06 pm

Re: Everything I Ever Needed to Know...

Postby ThePixelatedGenocide » May 13th, 2021, 1:30 pm

Money is just floating everywhere! And nobody wants it except for you!

Your new landlord will happily give you a home. Just pay it off whenever.

True love forever is as simple as breathing the same air as your childhood friend. Or buying a stranger whatever they want. But beware of frequent kidnappings.

If you're being chased, just take the pill. Then you can eat your enemies.

Japan is the wackiest and most fun loving country in the world. Non-conformity is strongly encouraged. Be true to yourself!

The best way to survive the mean streets of America is to either beat up every criminal you see, or replace them.

Hedgehogs aren't actually the fastest animals in the world. Cats, foxes, rabbits, bats, chameleons, armadillos, alligators, and echidnas are all equally as fast, and nobody ever explains why hedgehogs get all the credit.

The most powerful spaceships in the world don't have brakes.

sixam
Posts: 47
Joined: July 30th, 2016, 7:27 pm

Re: Everything I Ever Needed to Know...

Postby sixam » May 13th, 2021, 5:47 pm

If you drive over an arrow painted on the road, your car will get a burst of speed.

snakeboy
Posts: 284
Joined: April 30th, 2015, 3:40 pm

Re: Everything I Ever Needed to Know...

Postby snakeboy » May 13th, 2021, 6:16 pm

If you ever find yourself locked in a room and don't have a key to open the door, either 1) find a switch on the floor and push a statue on top of it, or 2) kill everyone else in the room.

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ActRaiser
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Re: Everything I Ever Needed to Know...

Postby ActRaiser » May 13th, 2021, 7:15 pm

snakeboy wrote:If you ever find yourself locked in a room and don't have a key to open the door, either 1) find a switch on the floor and push a statue on top of it, or 2) kill everyone else in the room.


I can't wait to try option 2 the next time we have a team building exercise in an Escape Room. I may not share this tip with them in advance though. :D

ThePixelatedGenocide
Posts: 765
Joined: April 29th, 2015, 9:06 pm

Re: Everything I Ever Needed to Know...

Postby ThePixelatedGenocide » May 13th, 2021, 7:26 pm

Women's clothing contains more pockets than men's. (Resident Evil.)

Nudity doesn't count if it's already pixelated. (Kid Icarus. Rastan. The Ys series. Every Castlevania after Symphony of the Night.)

It's the curse of children to clean up the mess left by their parents. (Katamari series. Metal Gear Solid series.)

Last year's baseball season featured cyborg women and teleporting robots. (Baseball 2020.)

LuckyWDFN
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Joined: August 15th, 2017, 9:50 am

Re: Everything I Ever Needed to Know...

Postby LuckyWDFN » May 15th, 2021, 6:58 am

A small bat can pick up a large dragon and carry him long distances at an incredible speed

Hammers are remarkable at smashing barrels but can disappear at any time

A winner is you

General Custer was a pervert

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VideoGameCritic
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Re: Everything I Ever Needed to Know...

Postby VideoGameCritic » May 15th, 2021, 9:15 am

sixam wrote:If you drive over an arrow painted on the road, your car will get a burst of speed.


I think this is my favorite so far, but keep them coming.

Gleebergloben123
Posts: 311
Joined: April 8th, 2015, 12:06 am

Re: Everything I Ever Needed to Know...

Postby Gleebergloben123 » May 15th, 2021, 9:36 am

Crocs are completely harmless if you stand on their eyes.

Bridges are very light to a small yellow dot.

If a bunch of baddies surround you demanding your valuables, jump on their head.

ThePixelatedGenocide
Posts: 765
Joined: April 29th, 2015, 9:06 pm

Re: Everything I Ever Needed to Know...

Postby ThePixelatedGenocide » May 16th, 2021, 1:02 am

In space, everyone can hear you explode.

Asteroid fields are a densely packed obstacle course.

Sometimes, the quickest shortcut between two places is keep going north, south, east, or west until you teleport to the opposite side of the map.

Kidnapping a princess is less of a crime than kidnapping a president's daughter. Bowser is still playing tennis and go kart races with Mario and Peach, but the villagers from Resident Evil IV? They're still waiting for a white house invitation.

Ninjas lose their powers whenever they try to use stealth or join an army.

Every boss is a damage sponge.


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