Everything I Ever Needed to Know...

[marioguy2]

Dinosaurs didn't die due to meteorites; they died to endless pits.

Nintendo can help save the entire video game industry, but they can't guide the Seattle Mariners to the playoffs.

Playing bonus levels inside giant soda bottles is way cool.

[Retro STrife]

-When the aliens invade us, they will start really slow and gradually get faster.

-The vast majority of people stand in the same spot their entire life.

-The fastest mammal is a cheetah. The second fastest is Bo Jackson.

-For most of the late 90s a distant fog fell over the earth.

-All martial arts tournaments require an international flight for each 30-second fight. No, we will not conveniently meet in one place.

-"Winners Don't Use Drugs"

[ThePixelatedGenocide]

"The vast majority of people stand in the same spot their entire life."

The truest words ever spoken.

-The fastest mammal is a cheetah.

Cheetah Men, Chester Cheetah... I'm just not seeing a lot of speed there. Is there any game where a Cheetah actually earns this claim?

-For most of the late 90s a distant fog fell over the earth.

Not always so distant. This one's my favorite so far.

[CaptainCruch]

All your shot wounds will heal by taking cover and waiting.

[ThePixelatedGenocide]

The sight of an exposed breast can kill a man. (Killer Instinct.)

No matter what your best move is, it's shortening your life. (Every Final Fight clone.)

The best way to raise your kids is to teach them how to play with deadly animals and then leave them unsupervised. (Pokemon.)

I'm not disorganized; I'm just waiting for my "I" to drop. (Tetris.)

[pacman000]

Best way to deal with trouble makers? Eat them! Sometimes you’ll even get their powers. (Pacman, Kirby)

Clogged pipes are caused by turtles, crabs, giant flies, & other assorted nasties. (Mario Bros.)

Giving your pet medicine when it doesn’t need it will make it happy. (Pokemon Yellow)

[thunderjohn]

-It's politically correct to beat up a cripple, if he is pointing at you with a bowgun.(Final boss-Final fight)

-You can hit someone twice, if you throw a stone with enough force.(Cody SF4)

[GeoX]

You can jump 50 feet, you can take a hundred hits from a hundred monsters, you can run through fire and junp off ten story buildings.

But if you touch water... you DIE!

[Breaker]

Always choose the gun that shoots three spread-out fireballs.

[ThePixelatedGenocide]

Enemies leave unattended health packs everywhere, in case you need help murdering them.

If there are no unattended health packs, infinite magic cure spells will be built into your science fiction armor/historically accurate uniform.

Humanity's inner demons believe in honorable turn-based combat.