Re: Explain a video game badly
Posted: January 26th, 2018, 8:52 pm
[quote="scotland"]Haunted House: Eyes without a face
I want to listen to Billy Idol now. Cheers!
I want to listen to Billy Idol now. Cheers!
The Video Game Critic
Independent reviews since 1999.
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Explain a video game badly
http://videogamecritic.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=5084&t=16675
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Re: Explain a video game badly
Posted: January 26th, 2018, 8:56 pm
Freeway: Oversized chicken crosses a very busy road. We're still trying to figure out why. I say it's because it was playing too much Frogger. Just like the rest of us....
Re: Explain a video game badly
Posted: January 26th, 2018, 9:18 pm
Every Zelda ever: Put on your green dress thing, because only you can get three things so you can get asked to get the other three things.
QBert: Paint a pyramid while swearing at snakes.
QBert: Paint a pyramid while swearing at snakes.
Re: Explain a video game badly
Posted: January 26th, 2018, 10:42 pm
Double Dragon - Two brothers with killer pompadours get high on bath salts and assault every man woman and child within a 10 block radius.
Dig Dug - A psychopath goes on an trip to the center of the earth where he violently murders every wonderful creature he comes across with a bicycle pump.
Duck Hunt - Worthless dog who has learned how to giggle like a human mocks you while you attempt to hunt. Ducks are killed by shooting a plastic gun that causes lightning flashes in the sky which cause the susceptible feathered creatures to have deadly seizures.
Mario Odyssey - "Cocaine is a hell of a drug!"
Metroid - Buxom space babe lands on a uninhabited planet and proceeds to eradicate every living thing she can find. It's like the Crocodile Hunter if he had a rocket launcher.
Adventure Island - Portly man with fruit addiction tries skateboarding at 40. Then he takes up the long lost art of bludgeoning innocent wildlife with crude stone hatchets. Also, his wife may have left him.
Ghouls n Ghosts - The worlds longest and most difficult advertisement for Ugg's new line of men's boxer briefs.
Dig Dug - A psychopath goes on an trip to the center of the earth where he violently murders every wonderful creature he comes across with a bicycle pump.
Duck Hunt - Worthless dog who has learned how to giggle like a human mocks you while you attempt to hunt. Ducks are killed by shooting a plastic gun that causes lightning flashes in the sky which cause the susceptible feathered creatures to have deadly seizures.
Mario Odyssey - "Cocaine is a hell of a drug!"
Metroid - Buxom space babe lands on a uninhabited planet and proceeds to eradicate every living thing she can find. It's like the Crocodile Hunter if he had a rocket launcher.
Adventure Island - Portly man with fruit addiction tries skateboarding at 40. Then he takes up the long lost art of bludgeoning innocent wildlife with crude stone hatchets. Also, his wife may have left him.
Ghouls n Ghosts - The worlds longest and most difficult advertisement for Ugg's new line of men's boxer briefs.
Re: Explain a video game badly
Posted: January 27th, 2018, 4:46 pm
Bloodborne: You're a kid now. You're a squid now.
Pikmin: Throw people at monsters until they stop being alive.
Mario Party: It's like Monopoly, but with more WELL @#$% YOU TOO, @$$#@%&!s
Nier: Dad goes on adventure to save his daughter from the evil of tattoos.
Arkham Asylum: Superman could have ended this in, like, five seconds.
Pikmin: Throw people at monsters until they stop being alive.
Mario Party: It's like Monopoly, but with more WELL @#$% YOU TOO, @$$#@%&!s
Nier: Dad goes on adventure to save his daughter from the evil of tattoos.
Arkham Asylum: Superman could have ended this in, like, five seconds.
Re: Explain a video game badly
Posted: January 27th, 2018, 7:52 pm
Koei games: now you too can pretend to be an Asian bookkeeper!
Punch-Out: beat up ethnic stereotypes -- and a few Americans -- by taking advantage of the crippling OCD that forces them to do the same moves over and over again. Also, you're a dwarf for some reason.
Circus Atari: six criminal clowns forced to endure lethal, Thunderdome-style contest in pairs, subjecting each other to repeated head trauma before one falls to his death. Repeat until only one survives.
Final Fight: jealous freegans try to keep a retired wrestler from getting food poisoning by eating out of trash cans.
Punch-Out: beat up ethnic stereotypes -- and a few Americans -- by taking advantage of the crippling OCD that forces them to do the same moves over and over again. Also, you're a dwarf for some reason.
Circus Atari: six criminal clowns forced to endure lethal, Thunderdome-style contest in pairs, subjecting each other to repeated head trauma before one falls to his death. Repeat until only one survives.
Final Fight: jealous freegans try to keep a retired wrestler from getting food poisoning by eating out of trash cans.
Re: Explain a video game badly
Posted: February 12th, 2018, 12:45 pm
The Last of Us: The worst babysitting job in history.
Re: Explain a video game badly
Posted: February 12th, 2018, 8:55 pm
Ice Hockey for NES: A fat guy, a skinny guy, and a stocky guy chase a puck across an ice surface against.... a fat guy, skinny guy, and another stocky guy.