Publisher: O-3 Entertainment (2005)
Reviewed: 2006/2/4
Rating: Everyone (fantasy violence)

Holy cow - this may be the
worst shooter I've
ever played! Like most modern shooters, it attempts to meld 3D visuals with 2D gameplay. I'm the biggest fan of the genre you could ever meet, but Chaos Field is a disgrace. It's nothing but one pointless "boss" battle after another! By 2006,
everybody knows that boss battles are totally played out, and everybody just
hates them in general. But apparently O-3 Entertainment didn't get the memo! In Chaos Field, you encounter one huge ship after another, and each takes forever to wear down while it disseminates hundreds of slow-moving projectiles. Besides normal shots and lock-on missiles, there's the concept of "changing fields", but this is poorly explained in the manual and confusing in general. You also have a "sword", which acts like a windshield wiper, cleaning out projectiles in front of you ship. Since you can't fire while using the sword, you'll need to alternate it with your attacks, which is tedious and dumb. The techno soundtrack is decent, but Chaos Field's graphics are completely forgettable and lacking in detail and imagination. The gaming media loves to refer to games like Chaos Field "old school", but they forgot that old school games were actually
fun. This isn't. As a shooter expert, let me assure you that this game totally sucks. © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.
Donkey Kong Jungle Beat
Grade: B
Publisher: Nintendo (2004)
Reviewed: 2005/7/10
Rating: Everyone
Publisher: Nintendo (2004)
Reviewed: 2004/11/5
Rating: Everyone
Publisher: Nintendo (2005)
Reviewed: 2006/2/4
Rating: Teen (mild lyrics)

I went ape over the original Donkey Konga, but this sequel feels like a half-hearted rehash. Donkey Konga 2's gameplay is practically identical to the first, save for a few new wrinkles and 25 new songs. Like any type of musical game, the soundtrack is key, but this new lineup leaves a
lot to be desired. There are a handful of decent tunes (U Don't Have To Call, Hit 'Em Up Style, The Anthem), but really no truly standout tracks. Worse yet, a few of these songs seem woefully out of place. What the [expletive] is "Losing My Religion" doing in there? And even if you
do like the song selection (unlikely), you'll sense that something is
very wrong once you actually start listening to these tunes, because it's woefully clear that these were
not performed by the original artists! You couldn't even tell with the first game, but some of these are
way off. It really put a damper on my desire to play through the single player mode. Earning "coins" offers little incentive, as they just unlock pointless "bonuses" like irritating sound effects and alternate song mixes (pass!). The annoying bongo sound effects are one bonus feature I'd prefer to
re-lock! Not only do they sound awful, but they drown out the music! The two-player mode routinely awards victory to the worst player, and the quirky "rock-paper-sissors" ending sequences are worthless. Then there's the highly touted "Freestyle" mode, which lets you bang away as random images are plastered across the screen. Can you say "Worst Mode Ever"? After about 10 seconds of that garbage, my friend Jonathan gasped "What the
[expletive] was
that?!" Sorry to say, only the most devoted Donkey Konga fans will find this lame follow-up worthy of their attention. © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.
ESPN International Winter Sports 2002
Grade: D+
Publisher: Disney (2002)
Reviewed: 2010/2/11
Rating: Everyone
Eternal Darkness
Grade: A-
Publisher: Nintendo (2002)
Reviewed: 2002/11/10
Rating: Mature (17+) (Blood and gore, violence)