Genesis Reviews B

Back in the day my friend Bobby would sometimes go to the mall with me to help me pick out a new game. He would point to this one and ask, "What about B.O.B.?" with a sheepish grin. On the surface B.O.B. looks like every tired side-scrolling platformer you've ever played. The main character is a goofy orange robot that navigates maze-like space stations and slimy alien lairs. Fortunately B.O.B. has a few tricks up his metallic sleeve to spice things up. First and foremost, he can collect any number of weapons and special items, using the pause screen to select which are active. While tedious at first, the system actually adds quite a bit of strategy and replay value. There are some potent weapons like a triple shot, a flamethrower, and heat-seeking missiles. Special items let B.O.B. fly, deploy a shield, or freeze enemies. You can save your shield power-up for the really tough sections, and keep a few trampolines on hand in case you fall into a pit. The game has a lot of wacky animations and it's satisfying to watch enemies shatter (or splatter) to bits when you blast them. The controls are pretty good, and I like how you can fire while hanging off ladders and pipes. The stages are nicely detailed and each has alternate routes and hidden areas. The back of the box boasts about "40 grueling levels". That's great - except for the "grueling" part. The scenery gets repetitive, and during advanced stages you're subject to a lot of cheap hits. It's really annoying when enemies "overlap" you, with only you taking damage. Fortunately you're issued a 6-digit password after every few stages. The cheesy dialogue is badly outdated ("totally!") but the catchy music effectively transports you back in time to 1993. B.O.B. is easily overlooked but this is an enjoyable romp that ultimately won me over. © Copyright 2012 The Video Game Critic.

Despite knowing full well the dreadful legacy of this infamous game, I tried to keep an objective mind when doing this re-review. After sitting through the game's annoying intro screens (DC, Acclaim, Warner Bros, Probe Entertainment, etc.), the game presented a "credits" segment which introduced the "actors". See, Batman Forever uses digitized actors (a la Mortal Kombat) instead of hand-drawn sprites, and I must say, they look pretty good. Unfortunately, the developers must have spent most of their time in the digitization process, because the rest of the game is absolute garbage. It feels like an awkward attempt to fuse platform action with a second-rate Mortal Kombat engine. Batman Forever is practically unplayable, largely due to its deplorable control scheme. Outside of simple jumps, blocks, and punches, executing any move requires a complicated series of button presses! Considering the game supports the six-button controller, this is unforgivable. Even simple moves like tossing a Batarang, performing a leg sweep, or falling into a hole are inordinately difficult! In the first stage, I had to pull myself through a hole in the ceiling, and it took me a good ten minutes to figure out how (and I'm still not sure how I did it). Later, I had to drop down through a hole in the floor - a no-brainer in most games. But incredibly, it took several minutes of button mashing to do it (the manual is worthless). The stage design is equally appalling, with doorways that magically become unblocked on one level after you defeat a group of thugs on another. In one instance, I walked behind a wall, and found myself staring at total blackness, unable to determine what was blocking my progress. Fighting each character is like a short game of Mortal Kombat, except without the fun. The bad guys sport un-intimidating names like "Mad Dan" and "Billy", and each has a long life meter. Batman Forever does give you the opportunity to play as Batman or Robin, but Robin looks like he's wearing a cheap costume. Two people can play at once, but it's too awkward due to the size of the characters and the fact that you can't walk past each other (somebody's always in the way). And while the characters look sharp and colorful, the rest of the presentation is lousy. The backgrounds look boring and hand-drawn. Couldn't they have digitized some sets from the film? The music is not good, and the voice synthesis is horrendous. After listening to a clip, it'll take you a good 10 seconds to figure out what the heck the static you just heard was trying to say. The game's box has the gall to claim the game has "over 80 stages" and "over 125 moves". Even if that dubious claim were true, I doubt any gamer would have the patience to see them all. Batman Forever was widely heralded as the "worst game of 1995" by magazines of the time. In my book, it's the worst Genesis title ever. © Copyright 2005 The Video Game Critic.

My buddy Eric and I recently revisited this old platformer and enjoyed it nearly as much as we did back in the day! Batman Returns is far more sophisticated than the first Genesis Batman - and a lot harder! The film provided plenty of rich material including colorful circus freaks, snow-covered scenery, and memorable villains like Catwoman and the Penguin. Those tall, lanky clowns look downright freaky! Our caped crusader looks particularly sharp, and he struts around with some serious attitude. With a utility belt at his disposal, he can toss bombs, hurl heat-seeking Bat-a-rangs, unleash swarms of bats, and swing from his grappling hook. The controls are not easy to grasp, and even 20 years later I find myself leafing through the manual. Even those who master the controls will fall prey to many cheap, unavoidable hits. Batman Returns is a relentless game with a substantial learning curve. Jesters and gargoyles lurch from the scenery, and when defeated they go up in a puff of smoke accompanied by a truly irritating sound effect. Machine-gun-toting clowns on unicycles terrorize you to no end, and there are traps that are partly obstructed from view. It's not for the weak of heart, but the designers did a good job of evoking the dark, gothic atmosphere of the film. The moody soundtrack gets under your skin and the grainy graphics just add to the dilapidated look of the buildings. The punch-and-jump action is genuinely fun despite checkpoints that sometimes force you to restart an entire level (gah!). Your life meter is replenished whenever you complete a stage, so at least you have that going for you. The digitized cut-scenes are a real treat. Arcade-minded gamers will probably gravitate toward the better-looking SNES version, but this Batman Returns may have the edge when it comes to that all-important "fun factor". © Copyright 2011 The Video Game Critic.

When it comes to fighting games, Beast Wrestler is hands-down the undisputed champion in the category of "best cover". The dramatic box art depicts some ominous dragon creature raising a sword in triumph over a vanquished beast. The smoke and lighting effects get you psyched up for a dark, atmospheric game of thrills and excitement. Beast Wrestler is not that game. No, this is a painfully slow fighter with constant clinches, confusing animations, unresponsive controls, and endless bouts. It's the kind of game that's frankly not even worth winning. You select from 15 bizarre creatures that look pretty intriguing on the selection screen. Among them is a jellyfish monster, a robot, a winged demon, and a hideous snake creature. These are meant to be gargantuan in size, but the action on the screen belies their stature. They lumber around a square arena, and the high angle prevents you from seeing much scenery. The creatures are fairly detailed and they rotate slightly to face their adversary. The attacks are incredibly lame though, with the "tail whip" being the only one that seems to work. Once the monsters are clinched, the game degenerates into a button-mashing affair. I'm glad most of the tie-up moves look sexual in nature, because if you couldn't laugh at this game it would be completely pointless. A lot of times a creature will bounce off the ropes indefinitely because the other can't even make contact with him! Occasionally both creatures will keel over for no discernible reason. The indicators at the bottom of the screen make it hard to tell who's winning, or even if any damage has been inflicted. Let's face it - nobody wins in a game like this. Beast Wrestler is probably the worst fighting game ever made, but I bet that cover sold a few copies. Suckers! Oh wait... © Copyright 2013 The Video Game Critic.

Like an actual oasis this overhead adventure seems almost too good to be true. Beyond Oasis combines the bright graphics of an arcade game, the button-mashing of a beat-em-up, and the depth of an RPG. It's Middle Eastern vibe calls to mind Prince of Persia (Sega CD, 1992) but it plays more like Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (SNES, 1992) - except with much larger characters. Your blonde-haired Ali wanders through lush landscapes and spectacular palaces so alluring you'll want to explore every inch. While moving between continuous screens your path tends to be heavily constrained however, sometimes by invisible walls. Impressively-large adversaries include hideous zombies, trolls, gargoyles, and demons. The combat packs a punch as Ali punctuates each flurry of attacks with a satisfying kung-fu kick. Beyond Oasis looks like a million bucks but it's not perfect. It can be frustratingly hard to line up with oversized foes, and how are you supposed to strike a crawling torso? Fortunately Ali can summon elemental genies to fight by his side. In addition to kicking ass these ethereal beings help you solve puzzles and can restore health. That said, directing your genie to the desired target can be like pulling teeth. Managing your inventory is critical but it's actually a lot of fun. Your progress is saved to battery and a handy map always points you to your next destination. I highly recommend a six-button controller for quick access to map, item, and weapons screens. What pisses me off is how you might be prevented from accessing certain menu items at arbitrary times. For example, you can't save your progress from inside of a dungeon! The audio is another liability. The melodramatic soundtrack calls to mind old-fashioned serials, but it tends to fade in and out. The stereo effects can be downright abrasive especially if you're anywhere near a waterfall. Beyond that, Oasis is a satisfying combination of fast action and thoughtful item management. It may lack the polish of Zelda but it's one of the best-looking adventures I've ever seen. © Copyright 2020 The Video Game Critic.

Bio Hazard Battle's "biology-experiment-gone-wrong" theme features all sorts of freaky, slimy creatures which are both fascinating and unsettling. The four playable "ships" are actually grotesque hybrids of insects and sea life. Enemies include flying squid, frog-crabs, giant slugs, sperm-shaped creatures, and pulsating hairy brown ball sacks. If you're not cracking jokes while playing this then you're not trying! Slick animation conveys the illusion of slithering, oozing organic life. The flat, undulating centipedes look amazing, and those "liquid metal" creatures look like something from Terminator 2. Each ship has four upgradable weapons equipped by touching colored pods. Part of the fun is finding the most effective weapon for each stage. Unfortunately, avoiding the weapons you don't want is as challenging as snagging the ones you do! Some offer terrific coverage (like the 8-way blue shot). You might feel invincible, but stay away from the edge of the screen which can spell instant death. Fortunately losing a ship lets you keep your weapon - minus one power-up level. A secondary cannon floats by your side, and although you can position it in any direction, it tends to stray at times. One effective tactic is placing this cannon on top of an enemy to inflict substantial damage. Bio Hazard's first stage has no boss which is actually very refreshing. Bosses in subsequent stages tend to wear out their welcome, but don't they always? The difficulty is up there, but that's part of what makes the game compelling. Back in 1992 I bought Bio Hazard Battle on the strength of its two-player coop mode, which was pretty novel for the time. And despite the rampant slow-down, my friends and I played this game for hours on end trying to see how far we could get before chewing up all of the continues. I also have to commend the musical score. I don't think I've ever heard a soundtrack so appropriate for a game. The songs are weird but catchy, and played in a minor key with a reverberating quality that makes your skin crawl. With so many bizarre sights and sounds, Bio Hazard Battle is one of the more memorable - and underrated - Genesis shooters. © Copyright 2011 The Video Game Critic.

When was the last time you walked over a collapsing bridge, fell into lava, and was forced to jump frantically to escape? As the Video Game Critic, this type of [expletive] happens to me all the time! Blades of Vengeance is pretty typical in design as medieval side-scrolling platformers go. Assuming the role of one of three warriors (barbarian, huntress, wizard) you forge your way through caverns loaded with monsters, treasure chests, and traps. The jumping controls could be more precise, but the straightforward, hack-n-slash gameplay is fun and addictive. The characters look terrific and their animations have a flair for the dramatic. The stages take you through mountains, caverns, swamps, and castles. The scenery is artistically rendered with a lot of colorful sunsets. The platform jumping is forgiving, which is good because you take damage for falling. The stage layouts are reasonable but sometimes you may wonder if you're moving in circles. Impressive-looking adversaries include werewolves, skeleton warriors, spiders, and gargoyles. The small, scampering fire creatures are adoreable, and I was caught off-guard the first time I saw a bat transform into a vampire. Most creatures can withstand several hacks, but your block move is highly effective. I like how monsters don't regenerate when you revisit past areas, and after losing a life you conveniently pick up close to where you left off. Adding extra flavor are power-up potions like health, force field, and invisibility. You select these from the pause screen and hit the A button to activate them. The music is pure 16-bit gold. A two-player coop mode is included, but since you're playing on a single plane, it's too confusing. If there's one thing that really annoyed me about this game, it's how the bosses take too many hits and generally wear out their welcome. Still, Blades of Vengeance is highly entertaining, and the fact that I can't stop playing it is a testament to that. © Copyright 2013 The Video Game Critic.

Was there ever a kinder, gentler soul than Bob Ross? This master of the canvas enchanted PBS television audiences throughout the 80s and 90s, effortlessly painting "happy trees" over majestic mountains and tranquil lake scenes. His calm, pleasant demeanor proved remarkably therapeutic to watch. Plus the man really knew how to rock an Afro. I recall hearing rumors in the 90's about Bob appearing in his very own video game but dismissed it at the time. Decades later Sega has confirmed he was in fact set to appear in an unreleased Genesis title, although few have had the opportunity to actually play this lost prototype (thanks again to Carl K. for making it happen). Bob Ross Going Ape S--t (working title) is a surprisingly complete and fairly entertaining romp. It's loosely based on Toki Going Ape Spit (Sega, 1991). Much like Bob's show, the game has universal appeal as he treks through his own paintings, filling in missing details with his magic brush. The gameplay seems fairly tame until you reach an end-of-stage boss. At this point Bob is forced to prevent some rampaging animal from defacing his work. You'll face a weird hodgepodge of boss creatures including a bear, moose, and... octopus?! These confrontations culminate with surprisingly graphic "paint-based fatalities". While wildly popular with teen boys in the focus groups, these scenes were said to bring younger gamers to tears. The violence is what ultimately prevented Bob from signing off on the project. When asked about the risque title Bob reportedly said "it's probably not what I would have come up with." The game also suffers from severe audio issues. The Genesis was never known for its clear voice synthesis, but when Bob says "paint some happy trees" it sounds like he's uttering a vulgar phrase instead! Bob passed away in 1995 and the game disappeared shortly afterward. It's a shame it never saw the light of day because Bob Ross Going Ape S--t would have been a fitting send-off for a sweet, beloved man. © Copyright 2020 The Video Game Critic.

I loved the movie, but this video game adaptation of Bram Stoker's Dracula lacks the style and striking visuals of the motion picture. The stages look so drab and generic, you have to wonder if the developers even got to preview the film. Instead of tracing the movie's storyline the game follows various journeys of the character Jonathan Harker (as played by Keanu Reeves). Most stages are set in maze-like cottages and castles, but there are also forests where you jump between tree branches (that's original). You'll battle a random assortment of creatures from rats to skeletons to giant spiders. Occasionally you'll run into some old man with an object in a thought bubble over his head. I assume that's something I need to collect, but what the hell is it?! A tooth? A muffler? WTF? Who is this old man anyway? Some bosses seem terribly out of place, most notably that fire-breathing dragon! Although it's not very faithful to the film, the platform action is respectable thanks to crisp controls and a helpful arrow at the top of the screen. The worst aspect of the game are the cheap spear traps that spring up from under your feet. Some of the puzzles don't make any sense, like the one where you cut loose a weight to cause an underground passage to open. The bosses aren't insurmountable because they retain damage between your lives. In one particularly scary stage you're chased by Dracula's floating maidens, and there's a real sense of urgency. The musical score is creepy enough and occasionally strikes a Ghouls 'N Ghosts (Genesis, 1989) chord. Bram Stoker's Dracula was probably rushed out the door to cash in on the film, but I still enjoyed playing it. Just remember to steer clear of the SNES edition, which looks the same but is far less playable. © Copyright 2014 The Video Game Critic.

In 1991, a spunky little hedgehog named Sonic won over the gaming masses with his dizzying speed and loveable personality. But in 1993, a goofy cat with a scratchy voice burst onto the scene. Now who would be the most beloved video game character? Oh yeah - still Sonic. If anything, Bubsy was more of an embarrassment than anything else. The game's large characters and mountainous backgrounds tried to mimic the Sonic formula, but the results were pretty pathetic. How can waterfalls pour off of the tops of trees?! Unlike the popular hedgehog, Bubsy is a complete loser, and his antics are more irritating than amusing. Bubsy's adversaries are equally unlikable, and some are actually creepy in appearance. The audio is borderline offensive, with hokey music and rough voice samples that are guaranteed to make you cringe (that cat must be a chain smoker). Oh, and wait, it gets worse. Fans of Sonic's hyper style of play will roll their eyes in disgust when they realize Bubsy is so fragile that he can't even withstand falls. Hell, he can't even roll down a hill without dying! And with so many inconspicuous objects being deadly to the touch (including water), you'll keel over time and time again for no apparent reason. The inexact controls and poorly designed stages won't do you any favors either. It's hard to tell where you can or can't jump, and the game expects you to make a too many "leaps of faith". Bubsy does have the ability to glide through the air, although that makes little sense considering he's a cat for Pete's sake! He also rides down "water flumes", but in general the gameplay is slow and tedious. I'm still trying to determine how Bubsy managed to grace the cover of Electronics Gaming Monthly in February 1993, or spawn a few sequels. If you're tired of fun games with imaginative graphics and catchy music, give Bubsy a try. He's the anti-Sonic! © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.