At first glance, Tac-Scan looks really intense. You man a five-ship squadron at the bottom of the screen, using paddle controllers to aim their shots up, left, or right. But you can only aim at three lousy angles! Doesn't that defeat the purpose of using a precise analog controller? Each "round" requires you to destroy 10 enemy ships that drop from the top of the screen. Although your firepower is considerable, your closely-packed formation makes you a large target, so it's hard to avoid incoming projectiles. Not to worry however, as ships are replenished at the end of each round in a short sequence where you guide bonus ships into formation. For the first few rounds, Tac-Scan is fun, if only because you have five freakin' ships firing at once. You just don't see that in Atari 2600 games. But as the rounds progress and the action speeds up, the visuals become more and more choppy. Eventually you're forced to just shoot like a madman and hope for the best. The instruction manual claims no one at Sega could survive the seventh round, but I suspect that's because Tac-Scan becomes unplayable by that point. I also love how the manual boasts about how there are "no options to fool with". Yeah, thanks Sega for sparing us the ordeal of customizing the game to our tastes. I've seen the Tac-Scan arcade game, and its cool scaling vector graphics are a far cry from this insipid title. Tac-Scan for the 2600 is a mind-numbing experience at best. © Copyright 2005 The Video Game Critic.

This is Combat (Atari, 1977) published under the Sears label. This name change was a major downgrade in my book. © Copyright 2017 The Video Game Critic.

Despite its silly name, Tanks But No Tanks is no joke. What other Atari 2600 game lets you take on an army of 20 tanks? Okay, only five appear on the screen at a time, and they flicker terribly, but work with me here! The action is pretty intense as tanks emerge from the top of the screen and approach your base at the bottom. Your tank looks different, and its moving treads are very cool. Too bad you can only fire one missile at a time, and it's so friggin' SLOW. The pink enemy tanks flicker badly, and their movements are unpredictable. They only shoot one shot at a time, but they can ram you. The first stage is set in a maze, the second stage is more sparse, and the third stage is completely wide open. The graphics are blocky but make good use of color. Tanks But No Tanks is a fun little game. It combines the elements of a maze game and a shooter very nicely. © Copyright 2002 The Video Game Critic.

This one looks a heck of a lot like Surround, that lame old Atari game where you move around a block with a growing tail. But Tape Worm adds enough original elements to make its gameplay interesting. In each level, your "worm" must collect a certain number of "beans" (gray squares), and the beans appear one at a time in random parts of the screen. You have to eat each bean before a bug at the bottom of the screen reaches the fruit on the right hand side. If you run into a wall or a wandering spider, you lose a life. Be sure to play the advanced variations (3&4) because the beginner variations are slow as molasses! The game requires some good reflexes, and you'll need a responsive joystick. The control is tricky because you move much faster vertically than horizontally. Tape Worm's control and graphics could be better, but its interesting gameplay makes it worth a try. © Copyright 2001 The Video Game Critic.

Since my initial review of this game, I've acquired a full-sized Tapper arcade machine. Has that changed my opinion of this scaled-down adaptation? Not much. Obviously, the graphics take quite a hit when you downgrade to the 2600, but Tapper's original, frantic gameplay remains largely intact. The arcade game licensed Budweiser beer, but this version substitutes the kid-friendly Mountain Dew. Gameplay involves running a bartender between four bars, sliding drinks toward approaching customers to keep them at bay. You lose a life should you toss an extra beer, allow the patrons to reach the end of a bar, or drop an empty. Tapper's graphics are pretty darn good as Atari 2600 titles go. The patrons are single-colored and blocky, but the bartender, drinks, and kegs are multi-colored and finely detailed. The bonus stage (with the Hamburglar-looking dude shaking up the cans) looks particularly impressive. A harmonized soundtrack plays throughout the game, but it's slightly off-key and does get on your nerves after a while. Unlike the arcade version, there are no tips to grab, but the dancing girls do make an appearance between stages. Tapper would be a must-have 2600 title if not for one major flaw - you can only throw two beers at a time. To compensate, the game "remembers" when you try to throw a third, and automatically tosses it at the next opportunity (unless you move your bartender first). This is a reasonable compromise, but it can throw off your rhythm. You'll get used to it, but it does put a damper on the action. The one thing that truly impressed me is how all four stages are reproduced here - including the space cantina! All in all, this is a very respectable version of the fun arcade hit. © Copyright 2005 The Video Game Critic.

This is the Sears brand of Air-Sea Battle (Atari, 1977). It's the exact same game under a much less interesting name. © Copyright 2000 The Video Game Critic.

This game was originally released by Spectravision as "Gangster Alley" in 1982. The graphics aren't bad, but where is the challenge? I can play this thing indefinitely on the hardest mode! You want to shoot people who pop up in windows of a building - but only the ones with guns! You move around a crown-shaped crosshair. The multi-colored people look good, but the collision detection is awful. Some of my "hits" weren't even close! Task Force's gameplay is monotonous and entirely too easy. © Copyright 2000 The Video Game Critic.

If the title of this game makes you want to run in the opposite direction, consider yourself a reasonable human being. Any game about the tax system has to be atrocious. The object is to accumulate as much money as you can by the end of a year. Items like red tape serve as metaphors for the tax system, and as in real life, the IRS tries to make your life miserable. Tax Avoiders alternates between two screens. The first is a simple set of platforms with blinking dollar signs and red tape. These items blink so rapidly that you end up picking up every damn thing whether it's good or bad. An elevator moves you between floors but it only appears intermittently, which is irritating. The second screen offers a different set of platforms connected by ladders, and the layout reminded me of Porky's (20th Century Fox, 1983). The instructions give the impression that three men pursue you, but in fact it's just one guy in a trench coat who alternates between three colors. Pretty cheesy! If you touch the guy when he's green an investment icon appears like a sun (solar), derrick (oil), or flask (research). Unfortunately he has an annoying tendency of suddenly turning black (IRS Agent) and taking half of your money. A date on the bottom of the screen progresses from January 1 to December 31, at which time the game mercifully ends. Tax Avoiders is a novelty title with "bargain bin" written all over it. Repetitive, random, and sloppy as hell, this is what happens when a bunch of bad ideas come together. © Copyright 2013 The Video Game Critic.

This game was released around the time when Atari made the curious decision to cater to younger gamers (hence all the "teddy bear" variations). Taz doesn't have a lot of substance, but there's something to be said for games that are simple and fast. For further proof, see Kaboom! (Activision, 1981). Taz's title screen features an illustration of a younger, slimmer version of the Warner Bros. cartoon character. It's a far cry from the bloated Tasmanian Devil seen in the cartoons and later found dead in a West Hollywood back alley (kids: don't do drugs). The game's playfield consists of eight stacked "lanes" that you can move across and "hop" between. The idea is to snatch up snacks that glide across the screen while avoiding bombs. Mouth-watering food items include hamburgers, ice cream cones, root beers, popsicles, and... turnips? How in the hell did they sneak in there? The game begins slowly, but once you reach the "crazed wave" (around 30K) the action becomes positively frantic. There's a slight bit of strategy involved in deciding whether to aggressively pursue an item several lanes away or just let it go. Overshooting a lane is the primary cause of death, so you'll need a responsive joystick. I like how point values pepper the screen as you snatch up items. Taz is okay but could have been a lot better. Instead of that fancy title screen, why didn't the programmer add more graphics to the actual game? A little scenery (like a desert landscape) would have been nice. Taz is represented as a little whirlwind the entire time, but it would have been awesome if he stood still when you released the joystick. Taz isn't much of a game, but I guess it'll do if you're in the mood for some shallow fun. © Copyright 2014 The Video Game Critic.

Could the Atari 2600 handle a game like Tempest? If this prototype is any indication, the answer is a resounding NO! Tempest was a shooter known for its flashy, 3D vector graphics, but this prototype features a single stage with extremely blocky lines. The blob-like aliens don't scale well at all, and actually appear to change shape as they emerge. Neither your missiles nor the aliens can manage to stay within the lines, and the result is an ugly mess. Add in bad collision detection, and you can easily see why this project was shelved. © Copyright 2002 The Video Game Critic.

As the first real tennis game for the Atari 2600 (Pong doesn't count) Activision's Tennis was generally well-liked in its day. Its graphics are modest but well defined, and the players move with a fluid grace. The gameplay is simple as can be. Players swing their rackets automatically and the ball never goes out of bounds, so all you do is concentrate on positioning. Fun for a while, the action eventually becomes monotonous - especially if both players are skilled. The speed of the ball is constant and the angles are weak, resulting in endless volleys. Hitting the ball with the very tip of your racket lets you hit it at a wider angle, but the risk is greater than the reward. More often than not you'll totally miss the ball in a desperate attempt to break up the monotony. Playing the net offers absolutely no advantage whatsoever. Competing against a friend is mildly amusing, but playing the CPU is a tremendous bore. Sometimes it will lose a point by letting the ball bounce twice, probably because it just wants to get the game over with. One feature that was a big deal in 1981 is how the game keeps score just like the real sport, with deuces, ad-ins, and all that good stuff. It was respectable for its time, but Tennis has not aged well and tends to induce sleep. © Copyright 2011 The Video Game Critic.

Wizard scored a hit with Halloween, but this video game adaptation is a complete debacle. Texas Chainsaw Massacre is as unpleasant as the movie it's based on. My wife and I saw the 1974 film on video a few years back, and it scared the living [expletive] out of us! Anyway, this is one of the first video games to let you control the "bad guy". You are Leatherface, a chainsaw-wielding masked psycho out to filet as many innocent people as possible before running out of gasoline. The screen scrolls sideways as you search for helpless victims and avoid obstacles including wheelchairs and cow skulls. The gameplay is a complete nightmare. Victims inexplicably disappear before you can touch them, and you're constantly getting hung up on the scenery. Even the graphics are lousy. Leatherface doesn't even resemble the movie character, and the running women look like Fisher Price toys. Their "screaming" is conveyed by ear-piercing tones, which will force all non-deaf gamers to immediately hit the mute button. When you do kill someone, they transform into an indiscernible blob. Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a novelty item with minimal play value. Its pathetic ending shows a person kicking Leatherface in the butt! Please tell me when it's over! © Copyright 2005 The Video Game Critic.

Excavated from the land of lost ROMs (where is that?), The Hobbit was an unfinished and long-forgetten project (circa 1983) finally unearthed and revealed at a recent classic gaming convention. The timing seemed awfully suspicious considering the recent Hobbit movie trilogy, and I had to see the game for myself to believe it. I'm not sure anything could have prepared me for The Hobbit's elaborate title screen. This high-resolution image manages to incorporate Bilbo, 13 dwarves (give or take), a spell-casting Gandalf, and even a fire-breathing dragon! Clever use of color-cycling was used to create the whirling spell and flame effects. I was totally pumped when I saw it, but my high hopes would soon come crashing to the ground. Calling The Hobbit's visual style "abstract" would be an understatement. The main character (Bilbo I presume) is rendered as a blue square. This is not so objectionable considering that Adventure (Atari 2600, 1980) also featured a square as its main character. Unfortunately, thanks to a poor design decision, the dwarves are also rendered as blue squares. Gandalf is a gray square... I think. The ring is a yellow circle... or don't I wish! Nope, it's a God-damned yellow square! The dungeons are remarkably blocky. What resolution was this game programmed in, 12x10?! And what's with all the flashing rooms? I swear this game gave me epilepsy. Some may claim The Hobbit is 95% complete, but I find that hard to swallow. I was constantly hounded by orcs in the form of flickering brown squares. After you grab the ring you turn invisible, but the fact that you can't see yourself makes the game pretty much unplayable. After stumbling around blindly for a several minutes you start to wish the developer had not expended quite so much effort on that fancy title screen, which undoubtedly consumes 95% of the game's memory. I'm also starting to think that gray square isn't even Gandalf, because that bastard just killed me and that did not look like an accident! It seems like everything in the game makes the same beep sound. I wish the programmer would have at least mixed in a few "boops" to spice things up a little! Apologists will make endless excuses for The Hobbit, but the game is a cautionary tale. This is one lost treasure that should have been cast into the fires of Mount Doom 30 years ago. © Copyright 2014 The Video Game Critic.

Here's a fairly new lunar-lander type game with outstanding graphics. After ejecting from the mother ship at the top of the screen, you must avoid asteroids and rescue the little guys on the planet below. The graphics are about as good as they get on the 2600: colorful, vibrant, and high in resolution. Control is decent, but it's a bit too easy to accidentally crush the little guys you're trying to save. Progressing through the game, the asteroids begin to transform into aggressive aliens. This is a challenging game that requires patience and precise control. © Copyright 1999 The Video Game Critic.