The Video Game Critic's
Halloween Review Spectacular
Part 1 of 6Updated 2023/9/14
Each game is rated for Halloween spirit:
Tame "Trick or Treat?"
Spooky "Double, double toil and trouble; fire burn and cauldron bubble!"
Ghoulish "Serpents and spiders, tail of a rat; call in the spirits, wherever they're at!"
Ghastly "Grim Grinning Ghosts about to socialiiiiize"
Macabre "Now don't close your eyes, and don't try to hide; or a silly spook may sit by your side."
Child's play "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."
Creepy "I see dead people."
Unnerving "That cold ain't the weather. That's death approaching."
Intense "I know you're there Tina. Because I can smell your brains."
Terrifying "It’s Alive! It’s Alive!"
Atari 2600 Games
Data Age (1983)
System: Atari 2600
This obscure game is one of the more compelling third-party titles for the 2600. It boasts a refreshing horror motif and its gameplay is surprisingly sophisticated. You control a small but colorful fellow attempting to "wall up" the imposing Frankenstein monster at the top of the screen. If the creature becomes fully charged he'll break loose and that's always bad news. The big green guy likes to toss girls in ponds, complain about fire, and just generally freak everybody out. Putting the clamps on this psycho will require six trips to the lower dungeon to retrieve bricks.
Frankenstein's gameplay borrows heavily from Pitfall (Activision, 1982) as you traverse multiple platforms fraught with peril. There are pits, spiders, ghosts and even an "acid pool" that looks suspiciously like water. (Hint: You can drop through a pit and onto a log if your timing is right.) When you hop across the floating logs it feels a heck of a lot like Pitfall, and the scoring system is also similar as you're docked points for touching spiders.
Upon returning with a brick you're transported to a second screen where you have to fight through a swarm of bats. With each successive trip more obstacles are placed in your path and you're also racing against the clock. Flashing lightning and crashing thunder periodically alert you that the monster is gaining strength. The controls are responsive but unforgiving. If you walk to the edge of a pit, you will slide into it. You can only jump a fixed distance, and it takes a while to learn where to properly position yourself.
Even so, the game succeeds on the strength of its challenge, variety, and kick-ass ending. When the monster inevitably breaks loose, he stomps toward the screen with the help of some admittedly rough scaling effects. Eventually the display turns completely green - because the monster is mooning the screen! Disrespectful! Frankenstein's gameplay isn't terribly original, but its unique theme and entertaining quirks make this one worth tracking down.
Originally posted 2010/10/27
System: Atari 2600
This game isn't particularly scary or fun, and frankly it doesn't make a lot of sense. But Ghost Manor does have one thing going for it, and that's five unique stages. That's pretty monumental for a 2600 game. The idea is to save your friend from Dracula's castle, and you have the option of playing as a cute blonde chick in a blue dress or a dorky guy in a red cap. I have no idea what she sees in him.
Anyway the action begins with a graveyard rising from the ground as scary music plays and a red castle looms in the distance. Your first task is to chase a rainbow-colored ghost around the graveyard. Very few video games employ openly gay ghosts, and I applaud Xonox for keeping such an open mind. On the advanced difficulty the ghost is replaced by a bisexual skeleton.
After the pointless graveyard stage you move to the castle exterior which looks pretty awesome. Bats flutter around the towers, bugs crawl on the walls, and an axe-wielding mummy named "Choppy" guards the entrance. This stage plays like a mini-shooter and it's the highlight of the game. After killing all the creatures you enter the castle. The next two mazelike screens feature scattered coffins and moving walls that are deadly to touch.
Examining the coffins will reveal a pair of crosses needed for the final showdown. It's easy to get caught up on the walls of the maze, especially in advanced stages which are pitch dark! Ascending the final staircase puts you in a room with Dracula slowly approaching from the left. Without the instructions you'd be at a complete loss what to do next. It turns out you need to position yourself directly beneath him and press the button to force him into a tower at the top right corner.
If successful, your friend is released, you watch a quick ending (which looks suspiciously like the intro), and the game is over. There are four skill levels. Ghost Manor is very difficult at first, and with only one life any slip-up brings the action to an abrupt conclusion. Once you get the patterns down however, you can get through the screens quickly. Ghost Manor looks great and offers plenty of variety, but once you beat it you won't be dying to play it again.
Originally posted 2012/10/30
System: Atari 2600
Wizard was dead-on with this clever video game adaptation of the classic slasher film. You play the role of the babysitter (Jamie Lee Curtis) in a two-story house several screens wide. Points are scored by escorting children to "safe rooms" at either end of the house. The rooms are colorful but devoid of detail except for an occasional window or doorway. When you find a child you can lead it to safety, but the child "lock-on" controls are erratic. The knife-waving Michael Myers looks intimidating in his jumpsuit, but I don't recall Jamie Lee Curtis wearing that poofy red skirt.
As in the movie, Michael is slow but relentless. You never know when he's going to suddenly appear in a doorway or at the edge of the screen. Better yet, his appearances are punctuated by an excellent rendition of the spooky Halloween theme song. If he grabs hold of a victim, you're treated to gratuitous gore bordering on hilarious. A lot of people lose their heads, and the spurting, pixelated blood is over-the-top. Halloween's gameplay is a little slow but there are some subtle nuances.
Michael's movements are predictable, and with good timing you can lead children right past him. Occasionally you'll find a knife which allows you to briefly turn the tables on him. The lights on the top floor occasionally black out, adding additional suspense as you "feel" your way around in the pitch dark. Jack-o-lanterns track your "lives" on the top of the screen - a nice touch. My biggest gripe is that Michael appears too often which minimizes the suspense factor. Halloween isn't the best game in the world, but fans of the film and game collectors should be fascinated by it.
Originally posted 2012/10/30
System: Atari 2600
Haunted House may not look like much of a game, and if you only play the default variation you'll think it's pretty lame. Dive into variation 9 however and you're in for a harrowing adventure with plenty of action, suspense, and even strategy. Your goal is to escape from a four-story mansion after collecting three pieces of an urn.
You control a pair of square eyes that can only see objects in the area illuminated around you (via a lit match). This limited visibility was previously used to good effect in Adventure (Atari, 1980). Roaming the house are three spiders (blue, orange, red), a bat, and a ghost. Each is deadly to the touch, but you get nine lives.
Each floor has six square interconnected rooms, but locked doors make it a challenge to navigate between them. A skeleton key lets you move freely from room to room, but you can't hold it and the urn pieces at the same time. A scepter makes the bat and spiders oblivious to your presence, but it won't protect you from the ghost. Since the bat steals your items, you might be better off letting a spider bite you instead.
Haunted House isn't spectacular but its simple elements blend to create a compelling dynamic. With the completed urn in hand and no lives remaining, it's a pretty intense situation as you desperately try to find your way back to the entrance. You never know what's behind the next door.
Complementing the action are crisp sound effects including footsteps, crashing thunder, howling winds, and slamming doors. Should you escape, your "score" is a combination of remaining lives and matches used. Trying to convey any degree of fright on the 2600 is a tall order, but with the right mindset, Haunted House gets the job done.
Originally posted 2021/10/17
Return to Haunted House
System: Atari 2600
Available on several of the Atari Flashback consoles, Return to Haunted House is not what you'd expect. If anything, it feels more like an Adventure (Atari 2600, 1980) remix. Oh sure it tries to apply a Haunted House theme, but you're still a little block navigating mazes and collecting items while being chased by adversaries.
The items are different but serve the same purposes. There's a "ladder" instead of a bridge, a scepter instead of a sword, and a "dismembered hand" instead of a magnet. Instead of dragons there are three types of ghosts. Your objective is to return a skull back to a crypt.
My first impression of this game was not good, partly due to abstract graphics that make it tough to figure out what you're supposed to do. I'm supposed to touch that red block with the thing that looks vaguely like a shovel?
The stage designs don't help. While the first set of square rooms look vaguely Haunted House-ish, you'll spend the bulk of your time navigating dark, narrow passages with a candle illuminating the area around you. Until you memorize the complex maze layouts you'll find yourself perpetually going in circles and hitting dead ends. It's aggravating.
My opinion of the game improved dramatically after I discovered the manual posted online. These instructions not only clearly explain what's going on, but are presented in that classic, fun-to-read Atari manual format. There's even a brief walk-through. Armed with this new knowledge I was able to enjoy the game as intended. When I finally obtained the skull it was exciting to high-tail it back to the entrance, especially with multiple angry ghosts on my tail!
Return to Haunted House combines elements of two classic games, but fails to convey the atmosphere of Haunted House or the polish of Adventure. What it does do however, is provide an entirely new adventure with a fun macabre theme. With three sprawling levels and many secrets to uncover, this isn't so much a sequel as it is a whole new experience.
Originally posted 2021/10/17
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
System: Atari 2600
Wizard hit the right notes with Halloween (Wizard, 1982), but they truly butchered this Texas Chainsaw Massacre adaptation. If you've never seen the 1974 movie, it's one of the most unsettling and genuinely frightening films in cinematic history. This game may have been the first to let you play the role of the "bad guy", running around slaughtering screaming women. I can only assume this was one of those "behind the counter" titles in 1982.
You play as Leatherface, a chainsaw-wielding masked psycho out to fillet as many people as possible before running out of gasoline. The screen scrolls sideways as you search for helpless victims while avoiding obstacles like wheelchairs and cow skulls. The gameplay is somewhat nauseating, as you're constantly getting hung up on scenery, causing you to freeze in place for seconds at a time. When close to a victim they will inexplicably disappear and reappear on both sides of you, perhaps to mimic some kind of struggle.
The graphics are lousy. Leatherface looks like Frankenstien with a lumpy appendage. The women resemble Fisher Price toys and their screams are conveyed via ear-piercing tones. When you kill one they transform into an indiscernible blob.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre may have novelty value but its play value is minimal. I will give the game some credit for having both a title screen and an ending. Upon running out of gas, you're shown an animation of a girl kicking Leatherface in the butt! I suppose that cute ending is meant to make up for a games' worth of brutal, gratuitous violence. Fair enough.
Originally posted 2021/9/28
Atari Age/Eric Ball (2003)
System: Atari 2600
Skeleton Plus (+) is a much needed update to a game that held much potential but was somewhat undercooked. I imagine programmer Eric Ball caught plenty of flack about the original Skeleton's lack of options and steep difficulty. However, I'm happy to report that he has addressed those issues sufficiently in this latest version. As in the original game, you move through a first-person maze, trying to zap wandering skeletons one at a time.
The mazes are well rendered and can be navigated quickly and easily. The skeletons look terrific, and you can even follow them around (although they tend to turn on you). This "Plus" version displays the number of skeletons zapped on the bottom of the screen, along with your life points, which drain each time you're touched by a skeleton. Since some skeletons require multiple "zaps" to kill, there's a bit of a "cat and mouse" element. The game has four options: skeletons per level (five or ten), starting life meter (49 or 99), sound on/off, and skeleton speed.
Unfortunately, two options are assigned to each difficulty switch, so there are only four combinations in total. I would have preferred if all 16 possible combinations were accessible via the select switch. A "touch of death" mode is also accessible via the black/white switch, in case you preferred the unforgiving gameplay of the original. I couldn't really recommend the first Skeleton game, but Skeleton+ is the real deal.
Originally posted 2003/10/4
Odyssey 2 Games
Rafael Alexandre (2016)
System: Odyssey 2
This is one of the most original Odyssey 2 games I've ever played. Combining live action with RPG elements, Amityville is half Dungeons and Dragons and half Haunted House (Atari 2600, 1982). As you step through a dark mansion the interior scrolls downward as a flashlight illuminates the area directly ahead. My friend Chris complained about some flicker in the background but I didn't really notice. The footstep sound effects are fantastic and there's even voice module support ("Danger! Attack!").
Just like in a real haunted house, you only get fleeting glimpses of the dangers that lie ahead. A horizontal strip across the center gives you a narrow peek, and intermittent lightning flashes illuminate the screen. Your goal is to find chests which contain diamonds and magic items. You'll also encounter spiders, bats, skeletons, and ghosts.
The battles are surprisingly fun. You repeatedly "roll a dice" to reduce the monster's hit points as he slowly encroaches upon you. I wish you didn't have to wait five seconds between attacks, but I like the suspense.
Magic items add a strategic element. The frog eye pushes a creature back a step, and the snake tongue can kill it with one blow. The vulture feature will award you with 150 points for sacrificing a turn. You can only hold one item at a time, and it can be hard to remember which one you're carrying.
I love the attention to detail (666 score in manual screenshot) and not-so-subtle horror elements (upside-down cross on title screen). Amityville seems slow at first but I became obsessed with this ingenious little action-strategy homebrew. Still trying to reach 666!
Originally posted 2017/9/30
This remarkably sophisticated side-scroller incorporates many elements of vampire lore. The action takes place on a quiet London street lined with quaint townhouses and a graveyard. Playing as Dracula, you rise from your coffin each night to feast on helpless townsfolk before returning by sunrise. You can find these poor souls wandering the streets or lure them out by knocking on doors.
The rich graphics offer colorful row houses, street lamps, and spooky graveyard views. But it's the subtle details that give the game atmosphere. Thunder crashes a few seconds after each lightning flash. Frightened eyes peer out windows. A bright full moon rises at night and the sky turns a pinkish hue at dawn.
Victims look like joggers in red or green tracksuits. Chasing them down requires quite a bit of effort. When biting a victim, Dracula's head bears an uncanny resemblance to Kermit the Frog. To subdue your prey you must not only position yourself directly over the fleeing victim, but press the side button twice to sink your fangs. Between the less-than-responsive directional disc and those super-tight side buttons, it's exhausting.
Complicating matters is a constable (cop) constantly tossing wooden stakes in your direction. You can turn the tables on him by transforming a victim into a zombie, and then using the second controller to lead the zombie to the cop. It's difficult enough maneuvering Dracula around the screen, but trying to use two controllers at once is asking a lot. If a friend is present he can control the zombie.
Once you've sucked enough people dry a white wolf chases you around. You can transform into a bat to avoid him, but that makes you vulnerable to a purple vulture. If that bird carries you off the screen it's game over. There are a lot of moving parts in this game!
Dracula looks great on paper but in practice its gameplay is tiresome and its controls awkward. Still, that shouldn't stop you from pulling this out each October. I'd recommend sticking with the hardest variation, if only to keep each game mercifully short.
Originally posted 2021/10/22
Scooby Doo's Maze Chase
Note: Requires ECS module
This plodding maze game is a disappointment, especially considering it requires the Intellivision ECS (computer and keyboard) attachment. You control a nicely animated Scooby Doo who must snatch three ghosts wandering around a maze while avoiding a single skull. There are ten mazes to choose from, and you can even create your own. The maze options are nice, but what the game really needs is a skill select, because Maze Chase is incredibly easy and tediously slow.
Scooby is only slightly faster than the ghosts, so snagging all three isn't as hard as it is time-consuming! That skull isn't terribly hard to avoid, and once he starts closing in you can drop a bone in his path to stop him in his tracks. Between stages a submarine sandwich meanders around the maze for a few seconds, and touching it nets you an extra bone.
The maze is trimmed with some interesting graphics like a tree, gravestone, and clock. Thunder claps and an ominous organ can be heard throughout the game, and these are so good you'll wish Mattel had saved them for a better game! Sadly, they are just window dressing for an ultra-lame, mega-generic maze title with minimal entertainment value.
Originally posted 2009/12/18
Atari Age (2016)
I wish I had picked this up in October because Jeepers Creepers has so many fun Halloween elements. Its vibrant title screen depicts a Frankenstein monster, a ghost, and a skeleton climbing out of a grave. The intro music has a moody, organ-like quality. The game itself may surprise you. This is a rapid-fire shooter - not something you'd expect to see on the Colecovision. You control a guy out to save his girlfriend from a haunted castle, moving side-to-side blasting waves of oncoming creeps.
In the first stage you strafe shambling skeletons in a graveyard and in the second you blast ghosts emerging from coffins. The ghosts tend to disappear as they move down the screen but fortunately you can still destroy them in their invisible state. The third stage pits you against waves of green Frankenstein monsters. I love the game's sense of foreshadowing as the castle gradually looms larger and larger in the distance.
When a creature reaches the bottom of the screen it briefly turns into a skull before draining a point of your life. You begin with 50 points so you can afford to let a lot of them pass. Especially in arcade mode it feels like a war of attrition as you're turning back hundreds of creeps. Shooting down a passing bat recovers some life and that becomes a big deal later in the game. Upon losing your final life the game concludes with a shriek and diabolical laugh. I love it!
Jeepers Creepers has a lot of nifty details but its gameplay is taxing. Each button throws with a different hand so you naturally want to hold in both for maximum firepower. The problem is, after a few minutes your wrist will hurt like hell. My friend Scott said his hand ached so bad he had to call in sick to work the next day! He swore up and down next time he was bringing a vice grip. Okay, so it's not as fun as it looks, but for a little Halloween hijinks Jeepers Creepers is probably worth the pain.
Originally posted 2017/1/14
Commodore 64 Game Games
Friday the 13th
Domark Ltd. (1985)
System: Commodore 64
It's accepted as fact by the scientific community that just about any video game based on a movie will be awful. Friday the 13th doesn't do much to buck the trend, but while playing it before Halloween with beer in hand, I didn't hate it. You begin in a church, playing the role of a camp counselor. You're presented with a quick bio that has absolutely no bearing on the gameplay. The idea is to locate and kill Jason before he can murder your ten fellow campers.
This requires picking up weapons and assaulting the very teens you're trying to save! Why? Because Jason is a doppelganger who looks exactly like one of the teens. The only way to "unmask" him is to smack people with deadly weapons to see if they briefly change into Jason. It's like The Thing has invaded Camp Crystal Lake! Speaking of which, the developer thought to incorporate haystacks, a cemetery, and creepy wooded areas, but couldn't be bothered to include a lake.
Jason doesn't even wear a hockey mask! When you finally find him, you hit him with a weapon as he bashes on you with a bo staff (you heard me) until somebody dies. Kill him and you proceed to the next round, this time playing as a different camper. Aside from the fact that male characters seem to have an easier time dispatching Jason, the gameplay is the same. Rinse and repeat until you just can't take the music anymore. Speaking of which, my relationship with the soundtrack is love/hate.
It starts out nicely with Toccata and Fugue, but other selections simply do not belong in a scary game. You'll hear great renditions of "The Teddy Bears Picnic" and "Old MacDonald" that tend to undermine the sense of sheer horror. Still, the shrieks of fellow campers being bo-staffed to death offscreen will send shivers down your spine. The occasional pop-up graphic of a machete buried in a man's head is also a pleasant surprise. Friday the 13th may be a one-trick pony, but during the Halloween season it's worth playing for at least 30 minutes.
Originally posted 2014/10/29
Castles of Doctor Creep, The
System: Commodore 64
Castles of Doctor Creep delivers some of the best "spooky" fun to be found in the entire (and extensive) Commodore library! You must make your way through any one of 13 different castles without losing all your lives. Why you need to do this is never explained in the manual, but you know what? Some games are best left to your imagination. As you move from room to room traps, obstacles, puzzles, and locked doors attempt to thwart your progress.
Some doors open with the push of a button, but others are color-coded and can only be opened with a key. Moving between rooms can be as simple as climbing a ladder or pole, or as complicated as using moving sidewalks while avoiding Frankenstein monsters and temporarily disabling force fields. The scoring is limited to the time it takes to reach each castle exit, and some of the more difficult castles can take over an hour to navigate!
Luckily you can save your game at any time - although by saving and reloading you will forfeit your shot at having your time recorded. The top ten fastest times are saved for each castle. Castles of Doctor Creep can be played by a single player, but you're really doing yourself a disservice if you don't try the two-player mode. Having a second player can be a tremendous boon when attempting to shut down lightning machines, turn off force fields, or take control of ray guns.
Two-player games are particularly fiendish because while it's crucial to work as a team, the fastest time is ultimately what determines who won and lost so it's extremely tempting to leave your partner out to dry when you're near the exit and he's low on lives. While ultimately a puzzle game, the atmosphere, sound, and graphics are reminiscent of a good adventure. Twitch reflexes and joystick skill are crucial for surviving difficult spots.
I have to admit I've only been able to get through the first few castles so I can only imagine what kind of time investment it would require to get through some of the more difficult ones. Considering how much fun I've had playing with my youngest son - who absolutely LOVES all things scary and Halloween-y, I can't imagine playing without having him by my side to tempt mummies, trip trapdoors, or work matter transporters. This is a fairly difficult game to find anymore and I paid over $125 for a complete boxed copy of it. But you know what? It was worth EVERY PENNY!
Originally posted 2011/10/28
System: Commodore 64
Cauldron is sort of a hybrid side-scrolling shooter/platform jumper where you're a witch (literally called a hag in the game - I guess those were less politically-correct times). Your goal is to retrieve her golden broom from her mortal enemy, the Pumpking. You start the game above ground, walking out of your cottage to find six ingredients needed to reclaim your golden broom. The broom is hidden in one of four underground lairs, each of which contains some subset of the ingredients you need to make your potion. Appropriately, the ingredients are: Juice of Toad, Eye of Newt, Wing of Bat, Hemlock Root, Piece of Bone, and Molten Lava. Party at the witches cottage!
Each lair is accessed through a colored door, and you must scour the surface world to find the matching keys before you can open the doors. To search for the keys, you fly on your broom through an opening in the trees and move left or right while watching the ground for keys. Make sure you take off and land only where a clearing exists, because touching anything else is instant death and the collision detection is very unforgiving.
As you fly, you'll pass a forest, a graveyard, a volcanic mountain range, and the open ocean. Depending on the area, you'll contend with flying bats, ghosts, floating pumpkins, flying lava, sharks, and seagulls (really? seagulls? How scary is that?). The fire button shoots a magic bolt at these creatures, but I found it more effective to simply dodge them as you go. When you're hit, magic points are deducted, and hitting zero sends you tumbling to your death. Once you match a key to a door, you can land and enter a lair.
Each lair is a platform-jumping puzzle, and you have to time and space your jumps so that you don't fall to your death. For some reason the witch can no longer use her broom to fly around these chambers, and gravity seems to have quadrupled in strength. Moving from one section of the lair to another is difficult due to some abruptly-shifting scrolling. It led me to die more times than I care to remember, as I couldn't see where I was going until it was too late. E
ven when you know where you're headed, the unforgiving collision detection and physics make getting around without dying a tall order. I was able to collect about half the ingredients but could never gather enough to challenge the Pumpking. While many people appear to have found the music in the game a highlight, I found it rather repetitive and annoying, like a 3rd-grade cousin with his first flute.
Graphically the game looks very nice, with lots of color and smooth scrolling. I really like the Halloween theme, and I almost felt guilty playing this "out of season". The controls left a little to be desired, as when flying above the surface inertia carries you forward (much like Defender). It really becomes an issue when you're attempting to stop straight over a key so you can dip down and grab it.
I think I might have given this game a C+ were it not for the difficulty, which I found almost on par with Ghosts and Goblins (at least underground). There is no two-player option, and the game doesn't record your high scores. I spent about an hour playing Cauldron for this review, and while I can't say I didn't enjoy it I also doubt I'll be booting it back up for another go anytime soon.
Originally posted 2011/4/15
Atari 5200 Games
Haunted House II 3D
Mean Hamster (2002)
System: Atari 5200
Originally posted 2021/11/5
This little homebrew opens with a nice title screen and harmonized music. Like the original Haunted House (Atari 2600, 1982), the idea is to move a pair of square eyeballs between contiguous rooms, collecting items while avoiding wandering dangers of both the natural and supernatural variety. Lighting a match will illuminate your surroundings, allowing you to see and pick up items.
I like the simplicity of Haunted House II 3D. All you have to do is locate the big chalice and head back to the entrance before losing your three lives. The appearance of a spider, bat, ghost, and/or skeleton will cause your candle to blow out as they converge upon you. Fortunately they're all pretty slow so you can typically outrun them.
So what is this "3D" business all about? Actually, it's a bit of a stretch. Each room is one screen in size (there's no scrolling) but with candle light you can see pseudo-3D walls and doors in the background. It's just eye candy however as the gameplay is still entirely in 2D. There are a few cobwebs but not much else to see. Some furniture could have gone a long way.
There are extraneous items to collect but without a manual I don't really know what their purpose is. There's a scepter that protects you, but since you can't carry any other items at the same time, there's not much of a point. Borders around the screen indicate where you can go, but that same border outlines your treasure panel at the top, which is confusing.
Haunted House II 3D is interesting to mess around with but graphical break-up, hit-and-miss collision, and inconsistent speed hamper the action. One minute you're flying across the screen the next you've slowed to a crawl. That skeleton is far too cute to be scary. I like the concept but Haunted House II 3D is too undercooked to be a satisfying sequel.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
As chronicled famously by The Angry Video Game Nerd, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde may be the most infuriating NES game of all time. It begins innocently enough as you take a stroll down a road on a sunny day, only to be attacked by everything in the world for no reason. You'll hunch over your TV in disbelief as the poor controls contort your hands into claws. Your veins will bulge and teeth clench as you find yourself getting struck by lightning over and over. It's all you can do not to go completely mad.
You begin the game as Dr. Jekyll, an upstanding gentleman in a suit with a cane, walking through a quaint English village with pristine houses. The countryside seems so peaceful until you find yourself being pelted with rocks by kids, and then mauled by dogs and cats. Worse yet, a man in a top hat places bombs in your path! What did you do to deserve this kind of treatment?!
Your cane is useless as a weapon so you're relegated to jumping around to minimize the damage. When your health is depleted the scenery becomes ominously dark as you transform into the hideous Mr. Hyde. Now you're automatically walking left, but won't get far before a bolt of lightning strikes you dead. What the hell?
This is one of those poorly-designed games that requires an FAQ. As Dr. Jekyll your goal is to walk as far to the right as possible. If you turn into Hyde and retrace all of your steps in the opposite direction, it's game over. By killing random creatures like floating skulls, hopping chicken legs, and demonic babies you can regain your original form.
The controls are pretty bad. Jeckyll walks painfully slow and when a bomb goes off anywhere in the vicinity he gets sucked into the explosion. Playing as Hyde lets you unleash a "psycho wave", sending a projectile dancing around the screen. For some reason you need to press up while hitting a button to use it. Why? To make your life more miserable I assume.
I might be more likely to buy into the whole two-games-in-one thing if they weren't both so wretched. There's some pleasant scenery and elegant music in this game that's utterly wasted. There's no score either. You're provided unlimited continues, but they're unnecessary, because playing Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde just once is more than enough.
Originally posted 2022/11/4
Vaguely based on the mediocre film, Ghostbusters II alternates between side-scrolling shooting and driving stages. It's no prize, but this game is not as bad as they say. Compared to the original Ghostbusters (Atari XE, 1984) game, this feels surprisingly fresh.
The opening stage has you running through a sewer, firing slime at ghosts while ducking under bouncing inanimate objects like busts and lanterns. Your shots travel in an arc and you can adjust the trajectory. I can understand wanting to shoot slimers, but what's the deal with those Ghostbuster symbols? Apparently shooting or collecting 20 of those earns you a life.
The second stage seems pretty exciting as your Ecto-mobile pulls out of the garage and upbeat music from the film kicks in. Cruising down the street you'll shoot generic ghosts and jump barriers. These driving stages have a Moon Patrol (Atari 5200, 1983) flavor as you steer around hazards while firing both forward and upward! The layered building backdrops look great.
Unfortunately you're also required to jump gaping chasms in the road, which turns out to be inordinately difficult. You must be A) driving full speed, B) hit a pink "boost" arrow, and C) time your jump at the very last instant. There's little room for error, and here's the kicker: that pink arrow can move. There's nothing worse than having this game pull out the rug from under you.
Once you master that first driving stage things become less frustrating. Stages repeat but with new locations like the courthouse, park, and museum. My friend Chris and I pulled out the old Game Genie so we could play through the whole thing, but the later stages are disappointing. The Statue of Liberty shooting scenes are long and repetitive. By the time you find yourself shooting at invisible ghosts, it starts to feel like an ordeal.
The game's excellent musical score features a number of upbeat tunes in addition to the obligatory Ghostbusters theme. Ghostbusters II is no blockbuster but there's something to be said for variety. If you're looking for something completely different, check out New Ghostbusters II which took an entirely new approach.
Originally posted 2021/10/26
New Ghostbusters II (Europe)
Hal Laboratory (1990)
This European Ghostbusters II is much different than the original, and is widely regarded as the superior version. New Ghostbusters 2 is a bit tough to track down in the states, as its only distinguishing mark is that tiny red "NEW" logo on the top left of the label.
The action is viewed from a tilted overhead perspective, with characters rendered in cartoon/anime style. I appreciate how all four of the Ghostbusters are playable from the start, including everybody's favorite Ernie "the black guy" Hudson.
First you must select a pair of Ghostbuster characters. The first one leads the way, stunning ghosts with his plasma beam. The second character automatically follows close behind, and hitting the second button makes him deploy a trap, hopefully snagging a ghost in the process.
My friends really seemed to enjoy this innovative scheme. The problem is, your second Ghostbuster is sometimes facing the wrong direction or gets caught up on the scenery. Should his trap miss its mark, you're about to find yourself in close proximity to one very pissed-off ghost. As in real life, this is not an enviable position.
I assumed having a second player would alleviate the situation, but for the life of us we could not figure out how to set up a two-player mode. That's because it does not exist! This glaring lack of coop has got to be the most egregious since Spider-Man/Venom: Maximum Carnage (SNES, 1994).
The stages follow the film with courthouse, subway, apartment, and museum locations. Likewise many of the distinctive apparitions from the movie can be found here. I loved that digitized ghost laughter! That said, the stages tend to be very maze-like, with large arrows leading you around by the nose.
The game is tough to grasp but gets easier once you learn how to finagle the second guy into position. Several continues are available that resume very close to where you left off. New Ghostbusters II may be a bit overrated, but it's quite original and at least makes an effort to be faithful to the film.
Originally posted 2021/10/26
Gargoyle's Quest II
This cart is fairly rare, and you might enjoy it if you're a glutton for punishment. Gargoyle's Quest II stars that pesky flying demon named Firebrand of Ghosts 'N Goblins (NES, 1986) fame. He has the unique ability to shoot fireballs forward and hover sideways for a few seconds at a time. The appealing gothic scenery features stone towers, twisted trees, torches, and skulls. The stages are of the side-scrolling variety but the hub is an overhead RPG-style world.
I found the "training" level to be a bit of a nightmare, as I struggled to grasp the flying controls. Basically you just press the jump button a second time in mid-air to hover, which also lets you perch on the sides of walls and platforms. To complete the training you need to grab a floating flask high above some ruins and it's remarkably difficult! Not only do you need to jump at the last possible moment, you need to make sure you engage your hover at the highest possible point.
This challenge really sets the tone for the game because you really need to be perfect for so many jumps to avoid lava and spikes. The designers must have been the biggest pricks known to man. I did discover one helpful technique which is to jump as far as you can before engaging your hover, even if it means coming perilously close to the spikes below.
You fight a lot of hooded ghouls, spiders, and wispy spirits which approach at angles you can't defend. After taking a hit you tend to get knocked back, resulting in further damage. The stages tend to repeat which is annoying. Gargoyle's Quest II offers nice renaissance music, spooky imagery, and unique controls. Unfortunately the constant aggravation keeps the fun factor grounded. Note: The original game was for the Game Boy.
Originally posted 2019/11/2
Haunted Halloween '85
For a Halloween fanatic like myself Haunted Halloween '85 is a dream come true. This well-crafted platformer embodies the Halloween spirit like few other games. You play a kid trying to save the fictional town of Possum Hollow by punching out phlegm-gurgling zombies, dive-bombing crows, and jumping jack-o-lanterns. For an NES title the sheer artistry of this game is amazing.
The backgrounds employ striking colors and vivid silhouettes to dramatic effect. Scenes of a deserted playground or grain silo against the waning sunset are truly haunting yet beautiful at the same time. Fun minor details bear out the 1985 timeframe, including an "NES Club" poster in the school and a Suncoast Video-style "VHS store" in the mall - complete with purple neon lights.
Haunted Halloween's gameplay is a satisfying mix of punching and platform jumping. It's satisfying how zombies crumble to dust after you beat them down, but those diving crows are a pain. Why doesn't my uppercut work on them? Some of the super-narrow platforms would be ridiculously hard to traverse if not for the excellent controls.
Instead of a life bar, taking hits gradually transforms you into a zombie, adding a layer of tension. Seek out candy corn to reconstitute your health. The minor-key "chip-tune" music is eerie but a little shrill for my tastes. The first-rate packaging offers a glossy box, colorful manual, and "zombie green" cartridge. Overall I am thrilled with this. Classic gamers have a new reason to celebrate Halloween this year - like it's 1985!
Originally posted 2018/10/18
Haunted Halloween '86: The Curse of Possum Hollow
If you thought Haunted Halloween '85 (Retrotainment, 2016) was a treat this amazing sequel will likely make your head explode. Haunted Halloween '86 offers more sophisticated platform action with a fresh new set of creepy stages. The game kicks off in cinematic style with a series cutscenes which you will learn to quickly skip through. The action begins in a dank dungeon with zombies and skeletons twice the size of the monsters in the first game. By delivering a well-timed uppercut you can punch zombie heads clean off! It's a great feeling, and as the final insult you can pick up the disembodied head and hurl it at other foes!
Another new feature is the ability to toggle between a guy and girl character using groundbreaking new Tag Team Technology (TM). This gives you a new lease on life when one of your characters is starting to look a little green (if you know what I mean). Prior to each stage you can select from a list of special moves including a dodge, charge attack, and defensive shockwave. I always go with the double-jump first since it gives me a fighting chance against those pesky stalactites in the cave. Stages like the mineshaft have multiple platforms but it took me forever to figure out how to drop downwards. It turns out you need to double-tap down. It makes sense, but I totally missed it in the manual because it was listed as "platform hop".
Anyway, like the first game the scenic backdrops make excellent use of vivid silhouettes to create scenes you wouldn't expect to see on the NES. I also found the frenetic music to be an improvement over the first game. Imaginative new locations include a river, train, and boiler room. There's also a handy password feature. Haunted Halloween '86 lacks that small-town 80's vibe that made the original such a charm, but considering all the new features I'd have to say that this game is one year better.
Originally posted 2018/10/28
Bram Stoker's Dracula
The 16-bit versions of Bram Stoker's Dracula (SNES, 1992) were so forgettable I was in no rush to track down this scaled-down NES edition. But as is often the case, this 8-bit incarnation is considerably better! You can tell the programmer "Skunk" really knew what he was doing. I like how the default skill level is "medium" which should always be the case but rarely is. The side-scrolling platform action begins with John Harker slaying ghouls, skeletons, and birds in the forests of Transylvania.
If you've played Castlevania (Konami, 1987) and/or Super Mario Bros. (Nintendo, 1995) you'll feel right at home with the controls. You collect coins, throw axes, bump boxes for power-ups, and perform ground pounds to break into underground areas. The fact that you can leap a country mile makes the crumbling ledges a lot easier to traverse. Enemies are defeated with a blue splash for some odd reason, and you can even punch ghosts!
The stage designs are so forgiving that touching water or landing on a bed of spikes is rarely fatal. There are hidden areas off the beaten path you can explore to discover extra goodies. Dracula's castle is a maze of floating platforms, lava pits, and fire-breathing statues. It's a shame you can't enter any of those big shadowy doorways.
Hitting pause lets you view your score and catch a breather. That's not a bad idea because the pacing of this game is so brisk it feels like a speedrun for Pete's sake. The musical score is your typical NES cacophony but with some ominous undertones. It's not particularly scary but this version of Bram Stoker's Dracula is probably the most enjoyable, and certainly the most playable.
Originally posted 2018/11/13
Uninvited is an early point-and-click adventure ported from the PC. The story begins with you regaining consciousness after a car crash in front of an old mansion, and your sister is missing from the passenger seat. This opening sequence, in which your car gradually goes up in flames, provides a painful crash course of the clunky, non-intuitive user interface. A first-person view is rendered on the upper left, above an abstract diagram which is supposed to indicate your exit options.
On the right is a list of commands and items you can page through (note that the "leave" command means "drop" - not exit). I repeatedly died while frantically trying to escape the car, prompting the message "your laziness has cost you your life and possibly the life of your sister." [Expletive] you, stupid game! Eventually I got out and was able to navigate the mansion - with some difficulty. Unnecessary extra steps are the order of the day, so you can't enter a door unless you explicitly open it first.
As you snoop around you'll find all kinds of junk that solves problems in the most unlikely ways. It's tempting to grab everything in sight, but if you linger an evil presence envelopes you and saps your life and kills you. Thankfully there's a "quick save" option (pretty sweet) and endless continues that pick up right where you left off. I'm glad Uninvited is so forgiving because frankly it doesn't make much sense. Most items are just red herrings to waste time experimenting with, and some of the objects used to subdue ghosts seem more random than logical.
The highlight of the game is the encounter with the Scarlet O'hara ghost, which my friend Scott mistook to be a "cross-dressing skeleton" (understandable). It looks awesome to disintegrate her with the "No Ghost" substance, but be sure to "open the bottle" first, or you will die (dammit!) Uninvited's graphics are clean and well defined but the house isn't particularly scary. The music is repetitive at times, but I like how it changes to signal danger. Uninvited is not the kind of game that translates well to the NES, but those who enjoy problem solving may find this appealing.
Originally posted 2013/10/29
This point-and-click adventure induced flashbacks of a game I reviewed last year called Uninvited (Icom, 1991). The clunky interface is exactly the same. Shadowgate is a medieval/horror game of mystery and intrigue. It requires you to issue one-word commands to interact with items, solve puzzles, and fight monsters. The first-person view of each room is small but nicely illustrated. You begin at a door on the edge of a forest, where you become almost immediately stuck. It seems like every combination of commands results in "you seem to be wasting your time". Yeah - no kidding!
The FAQ revealed I had to do the most illogical thing imaginable (spoiler alert: "open" the skull above the door). As you venture deep inside there are dangers lurking everywhere. In addition to deadly traps you'll contend with monsters like cyclops, werewolves, and demons. Critical items must be obtained in the most roundabout manner, including a key being held by a skeleton standing over a shark-infested pool.
The gameplay is largely trial and error, but as you collect dozens of items the possibilities increase exponentially. You are always one false move away from instant death. You'll perform the most innocuous action which sets off a chain of events that leaves you staring at the grim reaper. Shadowgate would be impossible if not for the unlimited continues and your ability to save at any time (pretty awesome for an NES title).
The game doesn't always make sense but as you inch further along it's fun to see what lies around the next corner. The audio/visual style has a certain ambiance and the music is melodic. As a child my buddy Chris sunk endless hours into Shadowgate without making much progress. Well, 25 years later he got the last laugh. Shadowgate may be tough but it doesn't stand a chance against a gamer armed with an FAQ!
With Brent at the controls and Chris directing, I watched them complete the game in about an hour and a half. It's amazing how cryptic some of the puzzles are. Open a bucket? Use a torch to light a carpet on fire?! Who would have thought of this stuff?! The funny thing is, they still had a good time, rating it a solid C. I'm not so generous, but Shadowgate has a certain Halloween charm that's hard to deny.
Originally posted 2014/10/28
Monster Party is a generic platformer lacking a cohesive style. It begins with a kid walking home at night when he spots a bright star. "The beauty of the star made his eyes moist so he didn't notice that the star fell and landed right in front of him." Rest assured the game itself fully lives up to the quality established by this intro!
Monster Party's ugly opening stage features a tacky pink backdrop and blocks stamped with smiley faces. You walk around swinging a little bat at hipster Asian dudes and naked legs kicking up from the ground. Since your bat is short and foes absorb multiple hits, it's hard to avoid taking damage. Defeated enemies often leave behind a heart to reconstitute your health.
Occasionally there's a doorway to a room. Some contain bosses but a curious number of these rooms are completely empty. What is the point?! One has a dead giant spider along with the text "sorry I'm dead". Huh? Items you collect are lazily-rendered as question marks.
Upon reaching the half-way point of the first stage a dramatic transformation occurs. Suddenly everything darkens and the scenery becomes twisted. Those smiley faces are now decaying zombie heads. Now this is more like it! Best of all, the music improves dramatically.
The bosses are kind of random. There's a bubble-shooting giant plant, and then a ghost with the head of a Jack-o-lantern. Later you have to fight animated fried shrimp and onion rings. I'm not making this up. Why would I?
There are a few things that make this game appealing. First is the deflection feature. If you time your slashes you can deflect projectiles back, instantly killing whatever tossed them. This is an effective way to take down the bosses as well.
Another neat feature is how some foes leave behind a pill that transforms you into a little flying demon that unleashes rapid-fire shots. You only assume this form temporarily, so it's usually a good idea to race to the nearest boss before the effect wears off.
There's something strangely endearing about Monster Party. The stages aren't very imaginative but it's kind of fun to see what kind of weird creatures the demented designers came up with. There are fish with legs, tentacled eyeballs, and dogs with zombie heads. Monster Party has a vaguely Halloween theme, but it's best described as brainless, nonsensical fun.
Originally posted 2022/11/4
Frankenstein: The Monster Returns
No, you do not play as the Frankenstein monster in this game. Instead you assume the role of a noble warrior attempting to rescue a beautiful girl who was carried off by the creature. Ever notice how the damsel in distress is always an attractive babe? If she were ugly, would all the knights just say "too bad" and go back to drinking their mead? Wouldn't it be refreshing to see a hero risk life and limb to save a girl with a nice personality? How many butt-ugly video game maidens have gone unsaved? Won't you help?
Speaking of ugly, Frankenstein shows his mug in the opening cut-scene but doesn't truly emerge again until the final boss battle. In his pursuit you'll travel through townships, forests, graveyards, castles, and hell dimensions. You'll battle lizards, trolls, floating eyeballs, and even jumping gravestones! Yes, that is stupid. You'll defend yourself with swords and small clubs which look more like chicken legs.
The controls are a little stiff and I had a hard time explaining to my friends how to do the jump-kick. You'll spend a lot of time fighting bosses, mainly because they can absorb an endless number of hits. Some of these creatures are mythological in nature (demon horse, medusa), but you'll also face a floating head, a werewolf, and a vampire. At least the game has variety going for it. Bosses tend to say boss-like things, like "Only a fool would dare to challenge me! Prepare to meet your doom!"
Unfortunately the dialogue is displayed letter-by-letter, and it's so slow you feel as if you're watching a daisy wheel printer. Get on with it, man!! The tone is somewhat dark and the music is in minor-key, but the game isn't particularly spooky. You get several continues and a password, and there's a nice high score screen. It's not bad, but Frankenstein: The Monster Returns feels more like a run-of-the-mill side-scroller than a horror epic.
Originally posted 2010/11/6
It's always fun to revisit the original Castlevania - the one that started it all! Assuming the role of a vampire hunter out to slay Dracula, this game oozes atmosphere. Torn curtains, crumbling statues, and cracked walls convey a sense of history. The gothic castle ruins look so weathered it feels as if they could collapse under your feet. The familiar soundtrack is both melodic and haunting.
Initially you're armed with only a whip but it has good range. Soon you'll collect special weapons like knives, axes, holy water, crosses, and a watch that temporarily freezes foes in their tracks. Slashing torches and candles reveal hearts, and while one might expect these to augment your health, they actually allow you to use special weapons.
As you navigate the sprawling castle you'll face zombies, bats, hunchbacks, and leaping lizard men. Floating Medusa heads move in predictable patterns yet are practically impossible to avoid. Be extra careful when jumping platforms with flying creatures nearby, as taking a hit can knock you into an abyss.
One quirky aspect of Castlevania is navigating stairs. To ascend you'll need to press diagonally up at a specific spot. Likewise, when trying to walk downstairs you'll need to press down-diagonally or risk falling right through the floor to the level below. If it's any consolation, the zombies can't figure out how to use the stairs either.
Once you get a feel for its controls Castlevania is a good time. A cautious approach is wise, but once you get the patterns down you'll be navigating those early stages with ease. Each stage has ample checkpoints and the game is full of surprises. This is one timeless classic anyone can pick up and enjoy.
Originally posted 2021/11/12
Castlevania II: Simon's Quest
As the first game ever skewered by the Angry Video Game Nerd, Simon's Quest has earned quite the reputation and rightly so. Konami tried to apply an RPG twist to its Castlevania formula and failed miserably. This time our hero has a name and it's Simon Belmont.
You begin in a quaint multi-level village, buying items and talking to people who provide cryptic hints. Like the first game, you'll use a whip on skeletons, lizard men, and floating eyeballs. Locations tend to be more exterior this time, including bridge, forest, and graveyard locations.
Pressing the select button reveals a status screen which displays vital information about weapons, items, and the time of day. This is notable because time plays a vital role. Periodically the message "what a horrible night to have a curse" appears, as day turns to night. Suddenly you can't do business with townsfolk and the monsters become much, much harder to kill.
Fighting at night is such a hardship you'll be tempted to just "wait it out" until dawn. Fully half the game is played in complete misery. Hearts to buy critical items in town, but you'll need a lot of them, turning this into a grind-fest.
Then there are those infamous arbitrary blocks you fall straight through. With no identifying features, the only way to detect them (besides trial and error) is by dousing them with holy water. The so-called clues are confusing, and the game requires you perform arbitrary actions you'd never figure out on your own.
Even the graphics and sound are lackluster. There are some cool new enemies werewolves, but the stages lack the artistic detail of the first game. Slowdown is your constant companion and the repetitive soundtrack leaves much to be desired.
Castlevania II: Simon's Quest offers infinite continues and when you respawn you pick up right where you left off. But that's little consolation when there's so much grinding and the very real prospect of becoming hopelessly stuck. With this installment Konami managed to transform a fun gothic romp into a never-ending treadmill of misery.
Originally posted 2021/11/12
Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse
After taking a serious misstep with Simon's Quest, Konami got the series back on track with this epic "prequel". Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse would appear to use the same engine as the original game, but its background graphics have been taken to the next level. The aqueduct silhouettes, jagged mountain ranges, colorful stained glass, and vine-laced ruins look spectacular. The classically arranged music properly sets the tone for this period piece.
As vampire hunter Trevor Belmont you'll journey through a village, swamp, forest, clock tower, and ghost ship before arriving at Dracula's huge castle. Along the way you'll contend with hopping hunchbacks, leaping red lizards, and shambling slime creatures. Naturally the floating medusa heads are back, and they will be the bane of your existence.
The controls are responsive enough although navigating stairs takes a little finesse. In addition, you'll want to give spikes a wide berth. Making contact with one will drain your entire life bar, even the spike is moving away from you. In general the difficulty is fair and there's a password feature.
The fact that the stages branch enhances the replay value considerably. Better yet, you have the ability to play as boss characters you defeat along the way. This innovation feature adds a whole new dimension to the gameplay, making Dracula's Curse the ultimate 8-bit Castlevania experience.
Originally posted 2021/11/12
Friday the 13th
I happen to be a fan of the Friday the 13th slasher movies, and although this game is surprisingly sophisticated, it lacks the tension that made the films effective. You control six camp counselors that you move individually around Camp Crystal Lake. When you're not rushing to the aid of children in danger, you're exploring cabins to gather notes, weapons, and other helpful items. The start button brings up a helpful map that makes it easy to navigate the campgrounds. In addition to cabin-lined trails around the lake, there are also cave and forest areas that hold secret items.
The gameplay is pretty original, but a few ill-conceived elements put a damper on the fun. When wandering around, you're constantly attacked by zombies popping out of the ground. Not only are these irritating, but they destroy any sense of suspense by making you numb to being attacked. I will admit however that I jumped a mile the first time a zombie jumped out of the lake! I wasn't ready for that one. Another problem with Friday the 13th is the first-person perspective used to explore the cabin interiors. Instead of making you feel "in the game", it just makes you feel like a rat in a cage.
Jason is large and menacing during his frequent appearances, and you'll need to mix dodges with attacks in order to turn him away. I like how the time of day changes as you play this game, and if you're good, a single game can extend over several days. Friday the 13th is tough, but as you learn specific strategies you'll discover hidden rooms and encounter new dangers like Jason's mother. When all the counselors are deceased, the message appears "You and your friends are dead. Game Over." I guess "Thank you for playing" would not have been appropriate in this case.
Originally posted 2007/10/15
Ghosts 'N Goblins
Ghosts and Goblins is practically an institution on the NES. It launched a popular series that continues to this day, although many would argue that the franchise peaked with Ghouls 'N Ghosts (Genesis, 1989). You play as a comical knight who can fire projectiles forward and backward. It's a shame you can't fire upward, because many stages feature multi-tiered platforms with enemies above and below.
Zombies, skeletons, crows, and demons pour out of the woodwork as you forge through graveyards, burning villages, mountains, castles, and caverns. This is side-scrolling mayhem at its purest and the action moves at a frantic pace as the soundtrack plays a heroic refrain. If you check out the background of the first stage, you'll notice a preview of what's to come with a majestic castle nestled in the mountains. Ghosts and Goblins is best known for its difficulty. Diamonds aren't this hard!
Despite its short stages and unlimited continues, you'll struggle to make progress. Part of the blame can be placed on the controls, which are rigid and unforgiving. It's very easy to get stuck in a crouch position or become caught up on the edge of a gravestone. Taking a hit knocks you back, sometimes sending you into a pit! The checkpoints could be better placed, as sometimes you'll need to restart large stretches after dying. It's tough, but Ghosts and Goblins has a distinctive arcade style and whimsical medieval/horror theme that never gets old.
Originally posted 2011/3/27
This should have been called Mystery Mansion, because it basically boils down to a lot of little puzzles solved by manipulating lists of items. Part graphic adventure and part text, you use a cursor to build simple sentences like "use key on door" and "give cheese to Jeff". Maniac Mansion's storyline involves three kids trying to save their friend being held hostage by a mad doctor in a large mansion. Before starting, you can select three of six cartoon-ish characters to play as.
These include the obligatory nerd, the gnarly surfer dude, the prostitute (nice dress), and the token black guy. You only control one character at a time, and each has a catchy theme song. The music is great for the NES, but it can still get on your nerves after a while. You can switch it off, but that causes the game to become uncomfortably silent.
Maniac Mansion's graphics are pretty good, offering a wide array of well-furnished rooms - including an arcade. It's amusing to explore the house and solve puzzles, at least until you get stuck. Using the cursor is somewhat tedious, but the handy select button lets you easily cycle through the most common commands. The game maintains a whimsical tone, with simple dialogue sprinkled with juvenile humor. The most infamous aspect of the game is how it's possible to explode a hamster in the microwave.
The main problem with Maniac Mansion is its complexity, which will turn off all but the most dedicated gamers. There are dozens of items to juggle, and figuring out how each is used requires a lot of trial and error. Some solutions tend to defy logic (give the plastic fruit to the tentacle??) The order in which you complete tasks is critical, and timing is sometimes a factor as well. Last time I checked, video games were supposed to be fun, not work!
My cartridge contained a battery back-up that allowed me to skip ahead to the previous owner's spot to get a peek at the advanced stages. That's right - 17 years old and the battery is still working! I know a lot of gamers have fond memories of Maniac Mansion, but I don't think this adventure has aged particularly well.
Originally posted 2007/10/15
Electro Brain (1989)
As much as I wanted to like this game, my conscience prevents me from grading it higher than an F. Ghoul School looks great on paper but doesn't play well at all. You control a punk kid trapped in a school crawling with all sorts of creepy monsters. A few of these tend to be quite imaginative and detailed, like the red creature with the huge eye. A toe-tapping tune plays as you wander the halls and classrooms, collecting the items needed to defeat various monstrosities.
Unfortunately the school is a confusing maze consisting of hallways, stairs, and doors that all look exactly alike. The room numbers aren't even consecutive or logical! As a result, you end up wandering aimlessly until you stumble upon a key item (like spring shoes) or weapon (bat, towel, gun).
The combat is awful. The pathetic weapons have such an incredibly short range that you'll be limited to repetitive "hit and run" attack patterns. Adding insult to injury, the controls are less than responsive and you're constantly being tossed around. I like the concept behind Ghoul School, but the execution is a mess.
Originally posted 2002/5/14
Nightmare on Elm St
The Nightmare on Elm Street film series combined horror with gross-out thrills, introducing one of the most memorable villains of all time. This video game adaptation has a frightening title screen depicting Freddy Kreuger showing off his razor-sharp finger blades. The game is loosely based on the third Elm Street film "The Dream Warriors" in which a group of kids fight back against Freddie by transforming into magical ninjas, wizards, and acrobats.
The action gets off to a dubious start as you walk down a neighborhood sidewalk while punching snakes. As you pass decrepit houses it's never clear which ones you're allowed to enter at a given time. Just position yourself under the front steps, push up, and hope for the best. Once inside things get interesting.
As you leap between balconies and staircases you'll contend with bats, ghosts, and giant spiders. You need to collect all of Freddie's bones scattered throughout each level, and some blend into the scenery so keep a sharp eye out. It feels very satisfying to see 2000 points appear for each one you snag. Periodically the game goes into "dream mode", transforming the house and enemies into darker, more sinister forms.
Giant spiders for example now sport hideous Freddie heads. The good news is that you can now assume your "hero" form, somersaulting around, casting spells, and jump-kicking. While fun, the game suffers from excessive nuisance hazards like egg-dropping birds, converging flies, and rocks falling from thin air. When you see the message "Freddie's coming" you're about to be whisked off to a boss stage, but it only takes a few hits to scare Freddy off.
The most shocking aspect of this game is how it supports up to four players at the same time! I suspect that would be like herding cats but playing coop with a friend is fun enough. Nightmare on Elm Street is underrated. Far from your standard movie cash-in, this sophisticated platformer squeezes the most out of its license.
Originally posted 2020/10/28
Whoa - this is the most bizarre NES game I've ever seen. Chiller is a gruesome, unlicensed light gun game created by twisted minds for twisted minds. The first thing you notice is its oddly-shaped cartridge that does not easily fit into the console. Once you get that working, you'll struggle with the controls. Configuring the game to work with the NES light gun is not easy. You'll need to plug the gun into the right port, but it's hard to tell if it's working because it's so unresponsive. You have to keep it within a few inches of the screen for your shots to register, and even then the accuracy is just not there.
But as bad as the gun control is, it's actually a step up from the control pad, which uses a tiny, hard-to-aim crosshair. Chiller's control is deplorable, but I was fascinated by its graphics and sound. This game brings to life so many classic horror images. The first stage depicts a graveyard scene at night with a church in the background. Arms reach out of graves and toss skulls back and forth. Heads and limbs can be seen on the ground, and a mysterious woman pushes a baby carriage in the distance. Your job is to hit a certain number of targets in a fixed period of time. Actually, many targets are revealed by red dots that appear with when the screen flashes as you fire the gun.
The second screen depicts the hallway of a haunted house with various creeps and apparitions. You'll see an arm fall from the ceiling and be retrieved by a hungry dog below. Then things get really twisted. The third stage shows some men strapped down, and you must shoot each part of their bodies until nothing remains. Is this sick or what? Fortunately, the cheesy NES graphics aren't realistic enough to be disturbing. In this final stage, a man is chained to the wall, another is in a guillotine, and a semi-naked woman is trapped in an iron maiden. Chiller is over-the-top by any standard. It provides some novelty value for adults, but it's definitely not for kids.
Originally posted 2001/6/11
Monster in my Pocket
Monster in my Pocket is not a euphemism; it's a line of toys released by Matchbox in 1990. This video game tie-in came with a free exclusive monster, which as you can imagine really jacks up the value of a complete copy. Monster in my Pocket is a well-programmed but generic platformer. You can control either a vampire or the Frankenstein monster, but both feel exactly the same. Does the concept of controlling a tiny monster in household environments sound appealing? If you're eight years old, maybe.
You'll hop along furniture and scamper across kitchen counters while vanquishing a wide variety of creatures. I counted 39 different adversaries in the manual for crying out loud! There are zombies, witches, skeletons, ogres, minotaur, and just about anything else you can think of. There's even a God-damned Kraken for Pete's sake! The creatures tend to be rendered in few colors and subject to break-up, making them hard to discern at times.
The controls are really good. The double-jump works like a charm and when you punch you unleash a visual burst of energy. Sometimes you'll find a large key, but all you can do is hurl it at oncoming creeps. The gameplay is ordinary and predictable. The stages are plain and the worst has to be the obligatory sewer level (required by law).
It sucks how you sometimes jump off a table and fall into a mob of monsters milling around below. The two-player simultaneous mode is fun in theory, but in practice it's hard to keep both characters on the screen. Monster in my Pocket is technically sound but I'm afraid you'll forget about this one the minute you shut it off.
Originally posted 2015/10/8
Atari 7800 Games
System: Atari 7800
Guess whose mug is plastered across the box of Midnight Mutants? None other than that feisty "Grampa" from the old Munsters TV show. Atari really had their fingers on the pulse of popular culture in 1990! Kids were going wild over black-and-white comedies from the 1960s!
Midnight Mutants begins with a terrific animated intro depicting satanic activities in a creepy pumpkin patch next to a looming dark mansion. Wow! The game is played from an isometric perspective as you freely roam between contiguous screens in a country setting. You'll collect items, fight monsters, and explore creepy locations like a church, barn, cabin, lab, pumpkin patch, and sprawling mansion. The graphics are so good you'll want to wander around just to check out the scenery. The only areas I didn't like were the forest and caves which tend to be confusingly maze-like.
The controls feel stiff because you can only move in four directions. From the player's standpoint you cannot move diagonally, but from a spectator's point of view you can only move diagonally. Odd! The second button equips items and calls up Gramps for hints. Midnight Mutants is inscrutable if you don't know what you're doing. You need to collect the items in a particular order and there are arbitrary rules like only being able to pass through hedges at a certain spot. The manual offers plenty of hints but for my money nothing beats a YouTube walk-through to get you over the hump.
The first boss is a screen-sized ram skull which is downright alarming to behold. He's not as fierce as he looks however, and cheesy music tends to undermine the horror. Still, there's a nice variety of enemies in this game including bats, crows, spiders, ghosts, werewolves, plant-people, and an assortment of zombies. When you kill a zombie with an axe, its body splits in two as its head falls straight down. Love it! There's a lot to see and do in Midnight Mutants and plenty of secrets to uncover. It's clunky as hell, but this Atari 7800 exclusive does a fine job of catering to the horror crowd.
Originally posted 2018/11/3
Atari XEGS Games
Avalon Hill (1985)
System: Atari XEGS
I wanted to like Maxwell Manor so bad. The box cover depicts a bold hero holding a cross in one hand and a gun in the other. He's like Bruce Campbell from Evil Dead! The game opens with an elaborate title screen, dripping with blood, and some appropriately spooky music. You begin on a dark road and the surrounding brush is rendered with grainy textures. You'll discover items lying around like a gun, shield, and candle. Cycling through items is clumsy, but I appreciate how the programmer designed the game so all actions are performed with a single joystick.
Head northward to reach the manor. If the gate is locked, head around back to find a secret backdoor. Once inside the gate you'll find yourself navigating garden mazes crawling with deadly insects. The problem is, the maze openings are roughly the same height as you, so it's really easy to get caught on the edge of them. There's nothing more frustrating getting killed because your head was stuck on a wall. It's even possible to get stuck on items you're trying to pick up! Sometimes when you arrive in a new area a bug will crawl out of a wall and kill you before you even get a chance to move.
Once inside the manor the game becomes more interesting but no less frustrating. Each room is unique but most seem to incorporate some sort of Indiana Jones-style spear trap. You never really get a chance to enjoy the scenery and many times I keeled over for no apparent reason. I actually believe there are invisible spots on the floor that are deadly if you step on them! Some rooms assume a side-view perspective instead of overhead, but the jumping controls are the worst. The instructions actually state "we've made jumping a little tricky". Gee - thanks a lot for that!
For the determined gamer there seem to be endless surprises and secrets to uncover at Maxwell Manor. Playing the game is a pretty quiet experience, with only the occasional beep or screech. At its best, Maxwell Manor is like an expanded version of Haunted House (Atari 2600, 1982). Not only is there a lot to discover but the game randomizes its layout. Unfortunately its "let the player figure stuff out" mentality can leave you in a lurch, wondering if it's really worth the effort. During October, it probably is.
Originally posted 2016/10/30
System: Atari XEGS
Released on several home computer platforms in the mid-1980s, Transylvania is an old-fashioned text adventure enhanced by artistically rendered illustrations. The keyboard is used to enter simple directions (N for North, S for South, etc) to navigate a wooded landscape with a castle, lake, and old house. Simple commands like "take", "drop", and "move" are used to interact with items. The game progresses in a linear fashion as you look for key items to open a door or initiate an event.
Transylvania's graphics are pretty good. Having played my share of text-only games years ago, I will admit that there's something to be said for being able to see your environment. Most of the illustrations won't strike fear into your heart, but that dark werewolf with glowing eyes certainly looks creepy.
Transylvania is interesting to play, but the game doesn't always make sense, and can be terribly unforgiving at times. For example, when you open a coffin to reveal a set of items, you need to grab the mice immediately before they run away, or it becomes impossible to finish the game! Stuff like that makes the game more frustrating than it should be (hint: use the FAQ).
The inventory management system is awkward and the storyline tends to go off on weird tangents, including an alien encounter. Transylvania definitely lacks polish and good design, but its hand-drawn visuals and old-school gameplay do have their charm.
Originally posted 2008/10/13
Sega Master System Games
Ghouls 'N Ghosts
System: Sega Master System
This is a good example of some of the excellent games released for the Master System near the end of its lifecycle. At first glance, you could easily mistake this game for the Genesis version. The graphics are crisp and detailed, and the gameplay is just like the arcade (including the huge bosses). The renaissance music is outstanding. Only some slowdown and graphic breakup mar an otherwise superb game playing experience.
As your knight makes his way through graveyards, villages, and caves, danger lurks at every turn. Ghouls 'n Ghost's most distinguishing feature is its difficulty, and this version is no different. It seems like every one of those chests contains that evil magician who turns you into a chicken or an old man. At times it's insanely difficult. There are unlimited continues, and you'll find yourself playing into the wee hours of the morning if you're really bent on beating this game.
Originally posted 2002/10/8
System: Sega Master System
All systems deserve to have one good, scary game, but Ghost House isn't scary OR good. It's just a generic platform game with stupid-looking, cartoon monsters. The ghosts look a lot like Kirby of Nintendo fame, which is not a good sign! Your job is to collect the five "family jewels" by defeating five Draculas. Five Draculas? That should set off some alarms right there.
And guess how you defeat these five vampires? A wooden stake? Garlic? Holy water? Nah, you just punch them! C'mon, if you're going to make a game about vampires, you have to at least follow the rules! The game has no atmosphere at all and the music is as goofy as the graphics. Control isn't so hot either. Why do I keep falling through the floors?? Ghost House also features some annoying slow-down, and sometimes it will even freeze up for no reason.
Originally posted 2001/8/27