Instead of using locations from the movie, the five stages are weird, surreal worlds that I hate with a passion. There's a record store with attacking musical instruments, a donut shop where you fight food-shaped monstrosities, and some kind of drug-induced suburbia with houses floating in the sky. None of these are interesting or funny, and their overall designs are painfully monotonous. Assuming the role of Wayne, you shoot at monsters with a guitar and perform tedious jumps between platforms.
The controls are anything but exact, and perpetual cheap hits force you to fire non-stop. Wayne's digitized face looks impressive, but you'll tire of his one liners in a hurry. The few lame references to the film include a "No Stairway to Heaven" sign in the music store, but in general the game does a miserable job of capturing the spirit of the movie. Even the music is weak, mainly consisting of generic guitar noise looped over and over. To say Wayne's World is "not worthy" is an understatement. If I have to play it again, I may spew. © Copyright 2005 The Video Game Critic.
The characters look great standing still, but in action they can be hard to make out. Hits are accompanied by a splatter of blood, and blocking results in a satisfying clank sound. Weaponlord's gameplay is pretty mediocre, and all the moves are weapon based: thrust, slash, and strike. To be honest, there's not much difference between them.
There are some special moves and throws, but the throws do minimal damage, and the action is slow compared to fighters like Street Fighter 2 Turbo. Some might appreciate the slowness since it fosters a more deliberate, calculated approach as opposed to button mashing. You can decapitate a defeated opponent, but the lousy animation makes it hard to see what's going on. As far as fighters go, Weaponlord is unusual but not exceptional. © Copyright 2001 The Video Game Critic.
You select between two characters, cowboy Clint or sexy saloon girl Annie. You move your character side-to-side across the bottom of the screen, blasting everything in sight. By aiming a circular cursor and holding down Y you unleash an unending stream of bullets, and the game doesn't require you to be particularly precise.
Outlaws, cannons, and robots return fire with slow-moving projectiles, but these can be avoided by rolling or jumping sideways. Your default weapon is pretty effective, but you'll often obtain cool power-ups like a shotgun. Smart bombs that blow up everything on the screen are also available.
The game begins on a dusty main street with cowboys emerging from windows and covered wagons. Next the action moves into a saloon where bartenders toss dynamite while outlaws take cover behind tables. Finally you find yourself on a rooftop facing off against a mammoth robotic boss. And that's just the first stage!
Survive that and you can select from four stages to play next, including a gold mine, ammunition depot, canyon, and armored train. Two players can go at it at once, but that can be chaotic. I love the detail in the scenery and humorous animations. It's no wonder this rare game is so highly sought after. Wild Guns is straight-up, arcade-style shooting fun. © Copyright 2017 The Video Game Critic.
You're presented with a map of the side of a sprawling mountain with all sorts of branching trails and lifts connecting them. Starting from the left side you complete checkpoints to unlock new trails across the mountain face. It's quite a challenge and I seem to get a little further each time I play. If only your progress was saved like the Jaguar version.
Competition modes let you race for best time in downhill, slalom, and giant slalom events. I'm glad these events only run a minute or less, because they are repetitive as hell. Winter Extreme is kind of a one-trick pony. The undulating hills look great at first, but the scenery along the trail is sparse, lined with pixelated pine trees and rocks. Those rocks look like giant skulls, which is great if you've ever wanted to know what it's like to ski through the Temple of Doom.
The controls are unorthodox. Your skier turns partly on his own, so most of the time you only need to make small corrections to prevent yourself from drifting off course. On occasion however you will encounter a series of whiplash-inducing rapid-fire turns. Your visibility is very severely limited, so instead of anticipating turns you try to react to them.
The goofy electronic soundtrack is so bad my friend Scott described it as "barf-inducing". The two-player mode does not support split-screen, but there is an ad for Butterfinger. I wouldn't call Winter Extreme Skiing and Snowboarding a total loss, but it's close. © Copyright 2015 The Video Game Critic.
The opening stage gets the game off to a promising start by incorporating a gorgeous New York skyline at night. Not only do the lighted skyscrapers look fantastic but their reflections can be seen in the shimmering water below. Later stages offer similar views, and they are the visual highlight of the game. Otherwise the graphics kind of suck, and I hate those black outlines around the characters.
Your dude "Slash" reminds me of Strider (Genesis, 1991) as he methodically flips between platforms. His sword has excellent range and there are special moves like a lunge and "flaming arc". You face a lot of slow, bulky, armored soldiers who approach one at a time. I noticed they drop gigantic assault rifles when shot, yet you can't pick them up. Health packs look a heck of a lot like cans of Coca Cola. If that's supposed to be subliminal advertising... well... it's working. I am so thirsty right now!
Certain areas are guarded by mounted guns, but your block move can absorb their bullets. As with so many games, you need to beware of dripping green goo. What the [expletive] is that stuff anyway? I thought X-Kaliber was halfway decent until I met that first boss. "Tattoo" takes forever to defeat because all you can do is chip away at his life bar.
But it's the second stage where the game falls flat on its face. As you walk down a trashed city street you're accosted by thugs on motorcycles. The collision detection is non-existent as you slash away at bikes riding all over you. X-Kaliber 2097 shows some promise, but ultimately degenerates in a marginal, by-the-numbers slash-a-thon. © Copyright 2017 The Video Game Critic.
The controls felt stiff as you slowly ascend platforms and shoot enemies in the ankles. Your firepower feels weak as you fire tiny exclamation points at lizard warriors and flying jellyfish. Thunderous sound effects are used to convey mass, but you'd expect to hear that when you land, not jump.
But just when I was able to write off Xardion as a complete dud, I stumbled upon the status screen. Here you can toggle between three unique cyborg forms: your default robot, a dragon-like warrior, and a spinning wolf. Each has its own health meter and abilities, so it's like having two extra lives! An innovative level-up system lets you upgrade by defeating foes, but some grinding is required. The status screen also lets you equip special weapons like missiles and bombs - with some difficulty.
The first boss is a giant one-eyed praying-mantis insect and it took forever to kill that thing. Still, I enjoy the strategy involved with juggling characters to conquer each stage. The second stage is set on a semi-submerged planet, and the third takes place on an ice planet with a jungle beneath its surface. Trying to hop between tree branches with these stiff-assed robots is a pain in the ass. The game has a battery-backed autosave feature I was not expecting. Xardion isn't bad, but you need to be patient and embrace the strategic elements of the game. © Copyright 2019 The Video Game Critic.
The first thing you'll notice about Yoshi's Island is its innovative graphic style. The simple clean lines and solid colors of the first Super Mario World give way to visuals that appear to have been rendered with crayons and magic markers! It looks strange at first, but it ultimately gives the game its distinctive personality.
Many enemies resemble kids in Halloween masks, although you'll also encounter the familiar Super Mario mainstays. Yoshi's Island introduces some cool new moves, including the ability to "manufacture" and throw eggs at targets, and stomp the ground to break through weak areas. Special power-ups give Yoshi the ability to morph into a vehicle including a helicopter, train, tank, or sub.
Yoshi's Island has a huge number of levels, not to mention bonus challenges and mini-games. Up to three people can save progress to one cartridge. I was apprehensive about Yoshi's Island at first, but it won me over in a big way. It may look like a kiddie game, but there's no age limit to fun. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.
Mode 7 effects facilitate smooth movement along a flat, pixelated path. There's little scenery but colors and textures convey environments like deserts, meadows, and even underwater. Yoshi moves automatically as enemies scale in from the front and sides, including usual suspects like koopas, turtles, squid, and moles. Yoshi's Safari makes good use of the turbo setting on the gun. In fact, I can't imagine playing this game without it!
You hold in the fire button to unleash a steady stream of shots, effectively wiping the screen clear of enemies. Eventually your meter runs down and you'll need to recharge, but that only takes a second or two. The shooting is accurate, but every now and then you're prompted to jump over a gap to break up the monotony. There are a lot of bosses, most of which change into a different form after taking substantial damage.
The difficulty is ultra-low, so you can breeze through the whole game in less than an hour and a half. By then you'll be glad to get that huge, God-forsaken hunk of plastic off your shoulder. The game's ending has got to be one of the lamest ever as the king thanks you about a dozen times for saving his world. He then lets you in on a secret: by holding L, R, X, Y, and start on the title screen, you can play an entirely new quest! The thing is, Yoshi's Safari is such an ordeal you won't be tempted to play it a second time. Note: The Super Scope only operates on old-style TVs. © Copyright 2013 The Video Game Critic.
Playing the role of a boy or girl, you attempt to rescue innocent people from rampaging monsters in a series of whimsical scenarios. There are more than 50 overhead stages including a suburban neighborhood terrorized by zombies, a pyramid full of mummies, a school invaded by aliens, and a shopping mall infested with demonic dolls. The creatures are rendered with a wacky flair and the lush scenery is fun to explore.
Your default weapon is a water pistol, and there are plenty more unconventional weapons like exploding six-packs, popsicles, fire extinguishers, and even a weed-wacker. Certain weapons are pitifully weak, but at least you can cycle between them. A handy radar overlay indicates when a hapless victim is in the vicinity, and also tells you how many are remaining. Two players can cooperate, but sharing the screen is problematic so it's best to let one player lead the way.
The rollicking musical score sets the mood perfectly, alternating in tone between ominous and playful. I would absolutely love to own the soundtrack to this game! An easy-to-write-down password is provided every few stages, and there's also a high score screen. When your game ends purple goo drips down the screen, and it would obviously be red blood if not for Nintendo's overbearing anti-violence policy (RIP). Zombies Ate My Neighbors is a brilliant arcade romp that's practically mandatory for October gaming. © Copyright 2010 The Video Game Critic.
More reviews: [Previous]
Screen shots courtesy of Video Game Museum