system Index Q-Z
Grade: B
Publisher: Parker Bros. (1983)
Reviewed: 2008/5/16

screenshotQ*bert was an ingenious arcade hit with engaging gameplay and a loveable star with a tubular nose. Q*bert hops around blocks on a pyramid-shaped stack, trying to turn them all the same color. Complicating matters are bouncing enemies and hazards, including a purple snake named Coily. Unlike most home editions, this one incorporates all the elements of the arcade game, including Ugg, Wrong Way, Sam, and the green ball that lets Q*bert temporarily freeze his enemies. When Q*bert is caught, he "curses" via a little word bubble containing punctuation marks. The controls are a bit stiff, requiring you to hold the joystick at a 45-degree angle. The audio effects are faithful to the arcade, but the graphics are lacking. Q*bert is pixelated and has holes for eyes, making him look like a zombie! The "shaded" sides of the cubes are ugly pixilated patterns instead of solid colors - what's up with that? When Q*bert escapes from Coily via a flying disc, the animation is jerky, and worse yet there's an unnecessary pause before you resume play at the top of the pyramid. Clearly Parker Bros. didn't put a whole lot of effort into this project. Q*bert's timeless gameplay is hard to resist, but this home translation is a little weak. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

Recommended variation: 3
Our high score: 10425
1 or 2 players 

If you like this game, try: Q*bert (Atari 2600)
Q*bert's Qubes (Atari 2600)
Q*bert (Colecovision)
Q*bert's Qubes (Colecovision)
Q*Bert (Playstation)

Grade: C+
Publisher: Atari (1982)
Reviewed: 2007/9/17

screenshotIt's not the flashiest version the arcade classic, but this 8-bit Qix gets the job done. In case you're new to the game, Qix is played by moving a small diamond around an empty screen, drawing lines to cordon off territory while eluding wandering enemies. Your adversaries include "sparx" which patrol the perimeter, and the free-roaming "helix", which assumes the form of a rotating set of colored lines. Your goal is to enclose at least 75 percent of the board, and should you exceed that, you'll earn a cool grand for each additional percentage. Qix is brilliant by design, but this version is not the best. For one thing, the helix is only about half as big as it should be, and it's rendered in cycling colors instead of a rainbow pattern. When touched by an enemy your diamond doesn't instantly explode, but silently blinks as a slow software routine clears out any lines you were in the progress of drawing before contact occurred. This ten-second pause is followed by a belated explosion sound effect. Pretty lame! The collision detection is also fishy at times. On the bright side, the controls are comfortable, since you can use any Atari joystick. There are several skills levels and an alternating two-player mode. It could have been better, but a second-rate Qix is better than no Qix at all. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

Our high score: 41823
1 or 2 players 

If you like this game, try: Qix (NES)
Qix (Atari 5200)
Qix (Lynx)
Qix Neo (Playstation)
Adventures of Tron (Atari 2600)

Questprobe featuring The Hulk
Grade: F
Publisher: Adventure International (1984)
Reviewed: 2011/5/22

screenshotI don't know what's more remarkable: the fact that somebody made an Incredible Hulk text adventure, or the fact that my friends actually agreed to play the God-forsaken thing! But we did indeed put this through its paces. Steve was hunched over the XEGS keyboard with its outstretched one-and-a-half foot long cord. Scott was tapping away on my laptop desperately searching for some kind of FAQ. I was kicking back with a beer, amused. For those too young to remember the early days of the home computers, a popular style of game in the early 80's were "text adventures". These allowed you to type in simple two-word commands (Ex. GET HAMMER, PRESS BUTTON), and then read about what happened via text. More often than not, the computer would respond with "I don't know how to do that" or "You can't do that now". It was really easy to get stuck! At least this game presents you with colorful, comic-book style illustrations between commands. I was hoping to see Hulk kick some ass, but the object of the game is to collect gems. You begin as Bruce Banner tied to a chair in an empty room, which is a pretty helpless predicament (hint: shake). Once freed, you can explore two sparse rooms, and if the Internet is any indication, few people ever got further than that. I could forgive Hulk's trial and error gameplay if the game made any sense, but it does not. The first time you step outside you're instantly crushed by gravity. Come again? Later, in order to obtain a hidden gem you need to dig a hole, and then dig again. And who in their right mind would ever think of lifting a huge dome to uncover another gem? The Incredible Hulk is as bad as the movie - and I'm talking about that Ang Lee version. It's that bad! My friends decided to finally call it quits after Hulk got defeated by ants. Yes, ants. By that point the only command we wanted to type was "FORMAT DISK". © Copyright 2011 The Video Game Critic.

Save mechanism: floppy disk
1 player 

If you like this game, try: Dark Mage (Atari 2600)
Bruce Lee (Commodore 64)
Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom (NES)
Montezuma's Revenge (Atari 2600)
Incredible Hulk, The (Genesis)

Realm of Impossibility
Grade: A
Publisher: Electronic Arts (1984)
Reviewed: 2003/6/28

screenshotIn my book, Realm is one of the most underrated video games of all time. Sequel to a game called "Zombies", Realm of Impossibility challenged one or two players to journey through of series of multi-screen mazes while avoiding monsters. Once you grabbed the key or crown at the end of the last screen, you had to high tail it back to the beginning. The psuedo-3D graphics are still attractive today. Each player controls a tiny but well animated person. Each screen contains wandering monsters like zombies, spiders, or spheres that drain your hit points when they touch you. The two-player mode is especially fun, because if one player dies he can be revived by the other. Along the way, you can collect spells the freeze, protect you from, or confuse the monsters (use the space bar to initiate). The bouncy music is unforgettable, and the levels are selectable. The gameplay is fun, frantic, and ultra-simple to play. My sister and I use to love this game in the early 80s, and after recently playing it with her, I'm happy to report that Realm has held up quite well. © Copyright 2003 The Video Game Critic.

Our high score: MKG 13,295
1 or 2 players 

If you like this game, try: Happy Trails (Intellivision)
Skeleton+ (Atari 2600)
Wonderbook: Book of Spells (Playstation 3)
Alfred Challenge (Atari 2600)
Fast Eddie (Atari 2600)

River Raid
Grade: A+
Publisher: Activision (1983)
Reviewed: 2019/4/17

screenshotBeautiful in its simplicity and endlessly playable, River Raid will never succumb to the ravages of time. Never! This pristine vertical shooter was developed by pioneer female programmer Carol Shaw - an unsung hero of the "golden age" of video games. River Raid offers a harrowing mission as you guide a plane up a twisting river valley while blowing up ships, planes, helicopters, and bridges. You'll bank through narrow passages and fly over barges to replenish your fuel supply. Precise and responsive, these controls might just be the best I've ever experienced. This computer edition plays exactly like its Atari 2600 cousin but offers a few nifty bells and whistles like craggy valley walls and mountain scenery. New enemies include hot-air balloons, missile-firing helicopters, and tanks that lob mortars from the river bank. Blasting a tank as it creeps over a bridge and watching it plunge into the watery depths has to be one of the most satisfying moments in gaming. With all the eye candy of the Atari 5200 and the crisp controls of the Atari 2600 edition, River Raid is a slice of gaming nirvana. © Copyright 2019 The Video Game Critic.

Our high score: 32,540
1 or 2 players 

If you like this game, try: River Raid (Colecovision)
River Raid (Atari 5200)
River Raid (Atari 2600)
River Raid II (Atari 2600)
Strategy X (Atari 2600)

Satan's Hollow
Grade: B+
Publisher: CBS (1983)
Reviewed: 2003/6/28

screenshotThe name may raise a few eyebrows, but Satan's Hollow is just a typical shooter, and it doesn't make a great first impression. The mediocre graphics and simple "beep" sound effects suggest a second-rate Phoenix (Atari). The castle sitting on the hill in the background looks like crap, and it serves as a living example of why programmers don't do the artwork for video games anymore. Likewise the gorge on the left of the screen looks like some huge graphical glitch. The flying birds and demons are chunky and are poorly animated. But if you have the intestinal fortitude to stick with this game, you'll be in for a pleasant surprise. You can shoot two missiles at a time, and you have a rechargeable shield that actually moves with you (unlike Phoenix). Demonic creatures sometimes drop flaming balls that create little fires on the surface. But the real innovation of Satan's Hollow is the bridge that you can build on the right side of the screen. Bridge pieces periodically appear on the left, and you need to drag them to the right while shooting the targets above. Building a complete bridge takes you to a second screen featuring Lucifer himself! Consistent with the rest of the game's graphics, he looks more like a stick figure than the prince of darkness, jumping around like a flea as he tosses pitchforks your way. He's really not hard to shoot, and you are rewarded handsomely for nailing him. Besides earning bonus points, you can now shoot FOUR missiles at a time, and this rapid-fire action makes for a great time. Too bad you lose this ability when your ship gets hit. There are nine skills levels, and I'd recommend number five. Satan's Hollow really had me hooked. And what other shooter lets you battle Satan from the comfort of your own family room? © Copyright 2003 The Video Game Critic.

Recommended variation: 5
Our high score: 19600
1 or 2 players 

If you like this game, try: Birds of Prey (Vectrex)
Sorcerer (Atari 2600)
Mystic Midway Rest In Pieces (Philips CD-i)
Allia Quest (Atari 2600)
Phoenix (Atari 2600)

Space Cowboy
Grade: F
Publisher: Avalon Hill (1984)
Reviewed: 2005/8/22

screenshotThis game was developed in my hometown (Baltimore) by the now-defunct Avalon Hill Game Company. I recall seeing an impressive preview screenshot for Space Cowboy in Antic (a 1980's Atari computer magazine), but never heard anymore about it after that. I assumed it was canceled, until recently while shopping for old games on the Internet I stumbled upon it for sale. When I finally received this long-lost relic, I was surprised at its large box and elaborate artwork. The game comes on a floppy disk, and despite the conventional wisdom of the 80's (which claimed floppies wouldn't retain their data) these things pretty much last forever. What really surprised me was that the game is programmed in BASIC! I use to program in Atari BASIC back in the 80's, so I can vouch that it's not easy to squeeze a game like Space Cowboy out of it. The game features some outstanding graphics and smooth scrolling. The main characters is a jailed outlaw who must escape from a futuristic prison by traversing an elevated walkway lined with cannons. The game utilizes a very cool isometric viewpoint, and the scenery is quite detailed and colorful. You can adjust you cowboy's speed as he runs the walkway and use his "jet boots" to dash across holes. Unfortunately, your cowboy isn't animated at all - he's just a static sprite you move around. The game is fun for a minute or so, but then you realize it's strictly a one-trick pony. All you do is dodge cannon fire, and the placement of the cannons is totally predictable. To say this game is repetitive is like saying fish enjoy water. I was hoping for unique stages, but subsequent levels only added some additional hazards. Despite bringing back some nice memories, Space Cowboy's gameplay is undeniably awful. © Copyright 2005 The Video Game Critic.

Our high score: 7750
1 player 

If you like this game, try: Go Fish! (Atari 2600)
Terra Attack (Colecovision)
Laser Blast (Atari 2600)
Zaxxon (Atari XEGS)
BC's Quest For Tires (Colecovision)

Speed King
Grade: F
Publisher: Mastertronic (1986)
Reviewed: 2011/12/11

screenshotThis bargain-bin title wants to be Pole Position with motorcycles, but it lacks the horsepower. You get a wide selection of tracks in diverse locations (Sweden, Italy, Spain, Daytona), but as far as I could tell the only difference is the shape of the mountain backdrops. Wait a minute - since when are there mountains in Florida? I can't tell if my driver looks more like Princess Leia or a Japanese woman in a Kimono. Speed Queen would have been a more appropriate title, but I guess that sounds too much like a drug-addicted transvestite. You accelerate and shift gears to build up speed, but 200 MPH seems more like 20. The sensation of speed is non-existent, and with no roadside scenery there's nothing keeping you from riding on the grass. Eventually you'll catch up with the rest of the pack who look like a gang of Asian motorcycle chicks. Not only are they pixelated beyond belief, but their scaling animation is jittery as hell. You'll wreck if you come within a pixel of them, and these are some pretty big pixels we're talking about. Speed King wouldn't be bad as a type-in game from Compute magazine (remember that one?), but nobody should be paying money for this. © Copyright 2011 The Video Game Critic.

1 player 

If you like this game, try: Pole Position (Atari 2600)
Pole Position (Atari XEGS)
Final Lap Twin (Turbografx-16)
Night Driver (Atari 2600)
Road Rash (Genesis)

Spy Vs. Spy
Grade: C+
Publisher: First Star (1984)
Reviewed: 2019/8/7

screenshotIn 1984 Spy Vs. Spy was a showcase title for the Atari computers, boasting cartoon-quality graphics, wacky animations, and an innovative split-screen. Who would have guessed a silly Mad Magazine cartoon strip could translate into such a sophisticated video game? The gameplay is surprisingly rich despite employing just a single button. Both spies - one black and one white - move around the same maze of rooms, searching furniture for objects and planting booby traps along the way. Traps include bombs, springs, and electrified water buckets you set up over doorways. Certain objects you come across will disable traps like umbrellas and pliers, but since you can only carry one item at a time you never hold anything for long. The audio/visual prowess of Spy Vs. Spy is remarkable. Its colorful rooms are pure eye candy and once that looping music gets into your head, you can't get it out. But while the gameplay is highly original it's also rather difficult and confusing. Although it's possible to keep an eye on your opponent, it's not really practical. Once your paths will cross a quick brawl ensues, usually sending the loser to heaven in angelic form. The spy who collects four special items in a suitcase can escape, triggering a neat ending sequence of him flying off in a rickety airplane. Rooting through furniture and checking behind pictures is easy enough, but since there's only one button you're constantly dropping items by accident. It's also very easy to trigger your own traps. Although generally smooth there are frequent framerate drops - something I would have never even noticed in the old days. Worst of all, your opponent can wait for you at the exit door, beat you up, and win the game after you did most of the work! Spy Vs Spy remains technically impressive, but one might argue it was always more fun to watch than to play. © Copyright 2019 The Video Game Critic.

1 or 2 players 

If you like this game, try: Spy Vs. Spy (NES)
Spy Vs. Spy III: Arctic Antics (Atari XEGS)
Spy Vs. Spy (Xbox)
Spy Vs. Spy II: The Island Caper (Atari XEGS)
Kaboom! (Atari 2600)

Spy Vs. Spy II: The Island Caper
Grade: D+
Publisher: First Star Software (1985)
Reviewed: 2019/8/7

screenshotThe original Spy Vs. Spy begged for a sequel and The Island Caper certainly looks good on paper. It takes the wacky espionage antics to a bright deserted island location while tweaking the formula a little but not too much. Instead of moving between rooms you now move around a sandy beach. The scenery scrolls as you move sideways, and squeezing through openings in the trees takes you to new areas. The tropical scenery is bright and colorful, but the granular sand gives the graphics a grainy look. The game has likeable bongo-drum music but nothing as catchy as the original game. Instead of scouring furniture for items you're searching trees and mounds of sand for rocket parts. Traps you can set up include pits, napalm, snares, and gasoline bombs. When a player assembles the rocket, he can win by escaping in a submarine with his lady friend. The Island Caper is hard to play. Assembling the rocket is a pain in the ass. You'd think dropping pieces on top of each other would connect them but they don't seem to want to go together. Another problem is that all the island scenery pretty much looks the same. Quicksand is all over the place and you need to wiggle the joystick like crazy to escape it. When you come face to face with your opponent you engage in a "swordfight", but it takes dozens of hits to defeat your opponent because now you both have long life bars. Though time consuming, killing my CPU opponent in this manner was the only way I could defeat him. Unlike the first game, you don't come back from the dead. The Island Caper asks a lot of the player. It's not likely to win over those who didn't like the first game, and unlikely to appeal to those who did. © Copyright 2019 The Video Game Critic.

1 or 2 players 

If you like this game, try: Spy Vs. Spy (Atari XEGS)
Spy Vs. Spy (NES)
Spy Vs. Spy III: Arctic Antics (Atari XEGS)
Spy Vs. Spy (Xbox)
Escape From Monkey Island (Playstation 2)

Spy Vs. Spy III: Arctic Antics
Grade: D-
Publisher: Epyx (1987)
Reviewed: 2014/2/16

screenshotThe original Spy Vs. Spy (1984) was a showcase title that dazzled gamers with its cartoon graphics, wacky "death" animations, and innovative split-screen format. Arctic Antics is the third game in the series, pitting the black and white Mad Magazine spy characters against each other on a glacier. A well-designed set-up screen lets you easily customize your game (map size, lives, difficulty, etc) via the joystick. The premise remains the same as both players set traps for each other while trying to collect objects needed to escape. Instead of rigging furniture with booby traps, you're burying dynamite, sawing holes in the ice, and setting icicle traps. And instead of smacking each other with clubs, the combat is limited to hurling snowballs. That's pretty lame, as the snowballs don't do much damage at all. One new element is the need to maintain your body temperature by taking refuge in an igloo. I have as much nostalgia as the next guy (I actually take medication for it) but Spy Vs. Spy games are not what they used to be. This game just isn't much fun. The white-and-blue scenery looks attractive but it's not very interesting. When you pick up an object, you can't tell what it is, and the lousy manual isn't much help. The escape sequence depicts a rocket taking off, and it's a lot less impressive than the airplane in the original game. The looping "music" is just plain annoying. Frankly it's more enjoyable to watch the CPU play itself, and that's not exactly a ringing endorsement. © Copyright 2014 The Video Game Critic.

1 or 2 players 

If you like this game, try: Spy Vs. Spy (Atari XEGS)
Spy Vs. Spy (NES)
Spy Vs. Spy (Xbox)
Mad Dog II: The Lost Gold (3DO)
Frostbite (Atari 2600)

Star League Baseball
Grade: B
Publisher: Gamestar (1983)
Reviewed: 2014/4/27

screenshotThis is one of those easy games that's great for a quick contest against a friend. Star League's title screen plays a jaunty little tune, and each game begins with an abbreviated version of the national anthem. The stadium graphics look pretty sweet with a nicely-manicured field, well-defined fence, and even a 3D dugout (empty, but still). The players are small and single-colored, but highly detailed and smoothly animated. Each player selects from two starting pitchers: "Curves" Cassidy and "Heat" Muldoon. You also need to choose between a "liners" and "sluggers" line-up, although I would prefer a "balanced" option. The intuitive, responsive controls give Star League an arcade flavor. Moving the joystick in the four directions lets you throw basic pitches, but things get interesting when you use diagonals to throw combinations of pitches! You can swing with a press of a button, and I absolutely love the sound of the crack of the bat. Hitting the ball can be a challenge. It's hard to lay off the low pitch, and I can't hit Muldoon's fastball to save my life! When the ball is put into play, you control the nearest fielder, but the infielders often don't even flinch as ground balls roll through. The player on offense controls the lead runner, and once you get a feel for running the bases, you can really toy with (and piss off) your friend. Good luck tricking the CPU, which is remarkably adept at holding the runners on. The game has a few shortcomings. You have the option of bringing in a knuckleball reliever, but only at the top of the eighth inning. Outfielders sometimes throw out runners headed to first base, which is not very realistic. It's hard to reach second base even after hitting the ball into a gap, and runners don't slide. The controls for getting situated on the mound require a lot of extraneous button tapping. The game does have some nice bells and whistles, like a scoreboard shown between innings that displays paid attendance, an ad for a "Dutch Dougan" video game, and other scores from around the league. Star League Baseball isn't particularly deep but it hits the spot if you're looking for some simple fun. © Copyright 2014 The Video Game Critic.

1 or 2 players 

If you like this game, try: Realsports Baseball (Atari 5200)
Realsports Baseball (Atari 7800)
Bases Loaded (NES)
MLB 08: The Show (Playstation 3)
MVP Baseball 2005 (Playstation 2)

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
Grade: F
Publisher: Parker Bros. (1983)
Reviewed: 2008/5/16

screenshotThis game was obviously conceived on the back of a cocktail napkin over a few beers during a happy hour, and programmed the next day! Rushed out the door with no regard for quality, Jedi is a prime example of "shovelware". As unexciting as it is unimaginative, you guide a pixilated Millenium Falcon around the bottom third of the screen as Imperial ships randomly appear out of nowhere and whiz around you. A small Death Star is visible on top, which periodically unleashes a green laser beam that's impossible to avoid. Stretching across the center of the screen is a rainbow-colored shield, which might be effective if not for those ship-sized holes that appear in it every ten seconds! Flying through a hole treats you to a mercifully brief "hyperspace" sequence. The second screen is much like the first, only uglier. Now the Death Star is large and blocky, and firing at it removes chunks at a time. After striking its core, the Death Star's explodes, sending a barrage of meatballs your way. Wow, this really sucks. Did the designers even watch the movie?! Of all the great ideas contained in the original trilogy, just about anything else would have been better than this. A Star Wars license is a terrible thing to waste. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

Recommended variation: 1
Our high score: 4516
1 or 2 players 

If you like this game, try: Star Wars: Death Star Battle (Atari 5200)
Star Wars: Death Star Battle (Atari 2600)
Star Wars: Jedi Arena (Atari 2600)
Star Wars: Flight of the Falcon (Game Boy Advance)
Pleiades (Atari 2600)

Star Wars: The Arcade Game
Grade: D
Publisher: Parker Bros. (1984)
Reviewed: 2015/8/25

screenshotThis is essentially the same as the Atari 5200 version of Star Wars: The Arcade Game, but this time I can't blame the controller. Even with your favorite joystick this is downright mediocre. The game doesn't look bad. The armaments of your X-Wing fighter look slick along the edge of the screen, calling to mind the crisp vector graphics of the arcade game. And when you hear that spirited Star Wars theme, your midichlorians will begin to percolate. Then tie fighters start fluttering around and the game starts to suck. Despite the simplistic aim-and-shoot controls it's really hard to hit anything. You also need to shoot down incoming missiles which look like fuzzballs (and not the kind that laugh it up). Your cursor has such limited range you can't even reach some of the missiles. The second part is the dreaded "towers stage" which you probably won't recall from the film. The idea is to shoot their glowing tops while trying not to crash into them. This 3D effect might have been turned some heads in 1983, but now this stage is just plain aggravating. The final scene is where Star Wars Arcade nearly redeems itself. While navigating the Death Star trench you'll weave around barriers that appear in your path. The 3D illusion and responsive steering controls make this the highlight of the game. It culminates with shooting the exhaust port, which is surprisingly easy! Watching the Death Star shatter into all of six pieces is kind of anticlimactic however. Those who enjoyed this game at the arcades may want to temper their expectations before trying this lackluster home version. © Copyright 2015 The Video Game Critic.

Recommended variation: 2
Our high score: 239,951
1 player 

If you like this game, try: Star Wars: The Arcade Game (Colecovision)
Star Wars: The Arcade Game (Atari 2600)
Star Battle (Bally Astrocade)
Star Wars Arcade (Sega 32X)
Star Fire (Vectrex)

Summer Games
Grade: B
Publisher: Epyx (1984)
Reviewed: 2008/10/13

screenshotSome may prefer Decathlon (Atari 2600, 1983), but for my money, this is the game that pioneered in the multi-event, Olympic-style games popular to this day. And Summer Games has held up incredibly well over the years, with intuitive controls and fast pacing that puts a lot of modern Olympic games to shame. The eight events cover a nice cross-section, and there's really not one dud in the bunch. Only the 100-meter dash relies on frantic joystick wiggling, with the others employing precise timing techniques. Some of the athletes look a bit blocky, but you have to love the fluid animation. The diving event is the most spectacular graphically, with its deep blue sky and colorful stands of spectators. In the track events, it's neat how the crowd forms the pattern "USA" in the background. The gymnastics springboard event is surprisingly fun, and the skeet shooting is perfectly executed. The weakest event is the swimming freestyle relay which runs too long and is glitchy to boot. But the biggest problem with Summer Games is how you must constantly flip the floppy disk and sit through those blue load screens (beep beep beep...) It's especially obnoxious when it's just loading the worthless "medal ceremony" screens. I will give the game props for saving all world records (to disk) along with the player's initials. You can configure the game to use two joysticks, but when players are not going head-to-head, you still have to share a joystick, which makes no sense. Summer Games does show its age at times, but if you're looking for some back-to-basics Olympic action, you will love this. Note: An enhanced version of this game was later released for the Atari 7800. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

1 to 4 players 

If you like this game, try: Summer Games (Atari 7800)
Summer Games (Atari 2600)
Decathlon (Atari 2600)
Track & Field (Atari 2600)
Track and Field (NES)

Super Breakout
Grade: B
Publisher: Atari (1978)
Reviewed: 2020/4/20

screenshotYou may find it hard to get excited about hitting a ball against a wall of colored bricks but once you start playing Super Breakout something just clicks. I love games that use paddle controllers - so smooth and precise! The action takes a while to ramp up as the ball initially moves slowly and is hard to miss. You gradually chip away at one side but once that ball gets stuck in the top area it feels like you've hit the freaking jackpot. The game goes nuts and your points tally so fast the display can't even keep up. Two things make Breakout a challenge. When the ball hits an upper layer of bricks it starts moving twice as fast, and when the ball hits the "ceiling" your paddle becomes a lot smaller. When both of these conditions occur you're basically hanging on for dear life. The first variation is your standard breakout - one ball and one paddle. The second is progressive, where a series of walls gradually marches down the screen. This variation is the most unpredictable, as you might have as many as four walls bearing down on you. The third variation is called double, which provides you with two balls and two paddles. You'd be surprised how hard it is to keep them both in play. The last mode is called cavity. This time you begin with two paddles and one ball but two additional balls are bouncing around inside the wall. Release those and in theory you could have three going at once. In reality it's nearly impossible to keep three balls in play for more than a few seconds. After each game your score is displayed along with an evaluation like "fair" or "ace". I like this version of Super Breakout better than the Atari 2600 game. The controls feel smoother and the ball bounces at sharper angles. It may lack the futuristic sounds but a game like Super Breakout doesn't need any razzle dazzle to be fun. Note: Pressing shift + control + I reveals an Easter Egg. © Copyright 2020 The Video Game Critic.

Recommended variation: progressive
Our high score: 913
1 to 8 players 

If you like this game, try: Super Breakout (Atari 2600)
Breakout (Atari 2600)
Fireball (Atari 2600)
Off The Wall (Atari 2600)
Arkanoid DS (Nintendo DS)

Superman the Strategy Game
Grade: F
Publisher: First Star (1986)
Reviewed: 2011/5/22

screenshotAny sense of anticipation I had for Superman was dashed when I noticed the subtitle "The Strategy Game". Say whaaaaat? The only strategy Superman should be concerned with is what foot he's going to use to kick a super-villain's ass! The opening screen depicts a grid of city blocks, triggering nightmarish flashbacks of the original Ghostbusters game (gah!). You guide a flying superman between the buildings as the nefarious DarkSeid scurries around the streets. Both can fire laser beams at each other, and these are deflected by strategically angled mirrors in the intersections. It's somewhat original in concept but mostly a confusing mess. And since both have huge health meters, the stage just goes on forever. Superman can carry people, but even after reading the instructions I have no idea where I'm supposed to take them. After a few minutes the game mercifully switches to a vertical shooting mode. While trading shots with a cannon seems refreshing at first, it soon becomes repetitive and pointless. Eventually you find yourself in another mirror level, but this time in a cave. Superman doesn't make any sense and it's way too complicated. Heck, the instructions even include diagrams to illustrate how the various screens fit together. Some computer games are worth investing some time to figure out, but I think this is one mystery best left unsolved. © Copyright 2011 The Video Game Critic.

1 player 

If you like this game, try: Ghostbusters (Atari 2600)
Ghostbusters (NES)
Beamrider (Colecovision)
Ghostbusters (Sega Master System)
Superman (Nintendo 64)

Grade: C-
Publisher: Bally Midway (1984)
Reviewed: 2014/7/26

screenshotAs the owner of an actual Tapper arcade machine (the original Budweiser edition) I feel uniquely qualified (over-qualified?) to review this game. The premise is to move a bartender between four bars, sliding beverages down the line to fend off an onslaught of thirsty patrons. Your bartender is rendered with personality and charm, and I like how he wipes the counter between pouring beers. The four stages include a normal pub, a college football tailgate, a punk rock bar, and an intergalactic saloon. There are also surprisingly tough "drink shuffle" bonus stages. One thing that turns me off about this Tapper is the Mountain Dew signs prominently displayed in the back of each bar. Oh yeah, I'm sure college students and punk rockers line up at bars to order soda. The first few stages are fun despite the brown-and-yellow patrons that tend to blend into and overlap with each other. The cash tips are represented by small yellow dollar signs that are easy to miss. "Oh Susana" loops in the background, and it will get on your nerves. Tapper is enjoyable until the challenge really kicks in during the punk rock bar stage. Once more patrons enter the picture, slow-down occurs which throws off your timing and degrades the controls. And why are there Stormtroopers in this stage? I would expect them in the space stage, which is an absolute mess by the way. The aliens look like glitches, and the slowdown is extreme. Tapper is a respectable arcade game, but this home edition tastes watered-down to say the least. © Copyright 2014 The Video Game Critic.

Recommended variation: Arcade
Our high score: 63,025
1 or 2 players 

If you like this game, try: Tapper (Colecovision)
Tapper (Atari 2600)
Ram It (Atari 2600)
Space Invaders Extreme (Nintendo DS)
NFL Football '94 (Genesis)

Grade: D+
Publisher: Polarware (1985)
Reviewed: 2008/10/13

screenshotReleased on several home computer platforms in the mid-1980s, Transylvania is an old-fashioned text adventure enhanced by artistically rendered illustrations. The keyboard is used to enter simple directions (N for North, S for South, etc) to navigate a wooded landscape with a castle, lake, and old house. Simple commands like "take", "drop", and "move" are used to interact with items. The game progresses in a linear fashion as you look for key items to open a door or initiate an event. Transylvania's graphics are pretty good. Having played my share of text-only games years ago, I will admit that there's something to be said for being able to see your environment. Most of the illustrations won't strike fear into your heart, but that dark werewolf with glowing eyes certainly looks creepy. Transylvania is interesting to play, but the game doesn't always make sense, and can be terribly unforgiving at times. For example, when you open a coffin to reveal a set of items, you need to grab the mice immediately before they run away, or it becomes impossible to finish the game! Stuff like that makes the game more frustrating than it should be (hint: use the FAQ). The inventory management system is awkward, and the storyline tends to go off on weird tangents, including an alien encounter. Transylvania definitely lacks polish and good design, but its hand-drawn visuals and old-school gameplay do have their charm. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

1 player 

If you like this game, try: Dark Mage (Atari 2600)
Shadowgate (NES)
Dark Seed (Japan) (Saturn)
Fear Effect (Playstation)
Heart of the Alien (Sega CD)

Grade: A-
Publisher: Atlantis Games (2012)
Reviewed: 2014/2/16

screenshotI always appreciated the simplicity of this 1981 arcade game. Venture puts you in control of a smiley face that's only slightly more sophisticated than the square you control in Adventure (Atari 2600, 1980). The general premise might be described as Dungeons and Dragons Lite. You move between rooms, shoot monsters with arrows, grab treasure, and move on. Rooms are accessed via a map screen patrolled by hall monsters. Each room has its own unique shape, treasure, and animated creatures. You'll encounter goblins, trolls, skeletons, genies, cyclops, demons, and many more. It's a good thing the rooms are labeled, because those "dragons" look more like chickens! Previously, the best home version of Venture was the Colecovision edition, but that was hampered by stiff controls. In contrast, this Atari XE version feels fine-tuned and turbo-charged. Your character quickly darts about and holding the fire button lets him fire a steady stream of arrows. Each monster has its own "shot with an arrow" graphic, which makes shooting them all the more satisfying. This game feels less like a dungeon crawler and more like a frantic arcade romp. In addition to the "original recipe" stages, a "remixed" mode offers an additional set of rooms containing grim reapers and medusae. The multicolored treasures and wall textures look sharp, and the old-school, harmonized jingles are pleasing to the ears. The game is remarkably playable and insanely fun the first time through. Once you get the hang of the patterns however, it does become repetitive, and the game awards too many free lives. Still, Venture is an underrated game, and I'm happy it finally got the definitive version it deserves. © Copyright 2014 The Video Game Critic.

Recommended variation: 3c
Our high score: 1,120,950
1 or 2 players 

If you like this game, try: Venture (Intellivision)
Venture (Colecovision)
Venture (Atari 2600)
Venture II The Abysmal Abyss (Atari 2600)
Montezuma's Revenge (Atari 2600)

Winter Challenge
Grade: C+
Publisher: Tynesoft (1988)
Reviewed: 2014/2/16

screenshotYou might be wondering how this Olympic-style title compares to Epyx's iconic Winter Games (1985). Would you believe Winter Games was never even released for the Atari 8-bit machines? I guess that left the door wide-open for clones like this one. Winter Challenge is spread over four sides of two floppy disks. Needless to say, there's a heck of a lot of disk-swapping and loading required to play this. After the obligatory opening "torch" screen you're prompted to enter the names for up to six players. You also have the option of selecting which of the five events you'd like to participate in. It's a great feature, because there's a good chance you'll hate at least one of them. You begin with downhill skiing which employs a behind-the-back view as you weave through trees and hop over logs. The controls are intuitive but the scaling is rough, and during jumps it looks like you're barely lifting your feet! The key to the second event, ski jump, is to keep your skis parallel in the air so you can nail the landing. Your skier looks like a blue yeti, but I love the view of the trees and snowy village below. The biathlon event makes you wiggle the joystick to cross-country ski between screens, stopping periodically to shoot targets by guiding a wavering crosshair. The scenery really steals the show with spectacular mountain peaks, bridges over tranquil streams, and gorgeous lake views. Be sure to take your time during the shooting phases, because the penalties for missed shots are severe. The next event, slalom, is tough for novices because it moves so fast. Even if you can avoid crashing into a wall, it's hard to tell what side of the flags you're supposed to be on! I guess that's what the "retry" option is for! Like most events, slalom is fun once you get the hang of it. That can't be said for the final event however. Bobsled is positively yawn-inducing! The course feels like it's 600 miles long, and just the thought of running three heats is nauseating! There's no closing ceremony to conclude the games, just a simple medal standings display. Winter Challenge could have used more polish, but it does live up to its name, and its nicely illustrated scenery gives the game added appeal. © Copyright 2014 The Video Game Critic.

Recommended variation: biathlon
Our high score: 3:13.04
1 to 6 players 

If you like this game, try: Salt Lake 2002 (Playstation 2)
Winter Games (Commodore 64)
Winter Games (Atari 2600)
Winter Games (Atari 7800)
Winter Sports 2008 (Playstation 2)

Wizard of Wor
Grade: B+
Publisher: Roklan (1981)
Reviewed: 2013/5/5

screenshotI love Wizard of Wor. This maze shooter lets one or two players shoot waves of freaky creatures before facing off against a mysterious wizard. The graphics are a little chunky, but they are colorful and well defined. Each wave offers a variety of foes including dog-like creatures that fire missiles and the winged "Worluck" that frantically flutters about. Certain enemies can turn invisible, but a handy radar display lets you track their position. The sound effects in this game are downright ominous. The opening refrain sounds like a haunted organ, and during each stage a resonating cadence gradually quickens. The directional controls take some getting used to, but I like how you can duck around a corner and get off a quick shot. When you shoot a creature, its projectile also disappears, and I have mixed feelings about that. It makes the game easier but it doesn't make much sense. Also, I really wish you could shoot through explosions. The two-player action is okay, but once both players start shooting each other, it cuts the game short. I'm reviewing the cartridge version, but the disc version allows you to save your high scores. The one thing missing from this game is the voice, which is a little disappointing since the Atari XEGS is capable of voice synthesis (without added hardware). Still, Wizard of Wor's simple, fast-moving style will appeal to arcade-minded gamers. © Copyright 2013 The Video Game Critic.

Our high score: 46,300
1 or 2 players 

If you like this game, try: Wizard of Wor (Atari 5200)
Incredible Wizard, The (Bally Astrocade)
Wizard of Wor (Atari 2600)
Sorcerer (Atari 2600)
Missile War (Arcadia 2001)

Grade: A-
Publisher: Datasoft (1983)
Reviewed: 2011/12/11

screenshotI still recall the day I first laid eyes on this isometric space shooter at the local bowling alley. It blew my mind back then, and frankly the game still looks pretty sharp today. Prior to reviewing this I played a few rounds of the highly-regarded Colecovision edition as a basis for comparison. I was surprised by the difference between the two. This Atari version is much smoother, faster, and better looking. The graphics are cleaner and your ship is significantly larger. This game runs roughly twice as fast as the Colecovision version, so you can blow through the first few stages in no time. If I have a complaint, it would be how in the "deep space" sections it's really hard to judge the position of approaching ships with respect to yours. Also, it's not quite clear how to defeat that robot boss. Otherwise this is probably the best home version of Zaxxon. I noticed that the box has a $49 price sticker, which seems pretty steep for a floppy disk. I'm considering filling out the registration card so I can receive a full-color iron-on transfer (allow 4 to 6 weeks for delivery). © Copyright 2011 The Video Game Critic.

Our high score: SDZ 15,900
1 player 

If you like this game, try: Zaxxon (Colecovision)
Las Vegas Poker and Blackjack (Intellivision)
Missile Command Trak-Ball (Atari 2600)
Zaxxon (Sega SG-1000)
Ten Pin Alley (Playstation)

Grade: B
Publisher: Synapse (1983)
Reviewed: 2016/4/29

screenshotFew 8-bit shooters deliver the rapid-fire mayhem and wanton destruction of Zeppelin. You control a blimp that can fire in eight directions. The screen scrolls automatically as you slowly wind through maze-like caverns, blasting barriers, airships, and balloons. You can blow up just about everything in sight. See those quaint houses protected by force fields? You can obliterate them for points! The caverns are rendered in lovely fluorescent colors and the background noise of grinding gears is really cool. As icing on the cake, the carnage is punctuated by satisfying, high-resolution explosions. The default novice level begins with the message "entering stage 7". Wait, what? Oh I see - these stages count down instead of up! Maneuvering your blimp takes some practice. You can influence which way the screen scrolls if you position it correctly. Shooting switches will toggle traps on and off, so if you find yourself in the clear, leave those switches alone! You can only fire in one direction at a time, and I had some trouble hitting the diagonals. The touchy controls make it tough to navigate some narrow passages and the collision detection doesn't do you any favors. After crashing into something the game pauses momentarily so you can reposition your ship. If you're not paying attention you can lose two or three ships in a row! To gain access to certain parts of the cave you'll need to collect and deposit giant keys and hamburgers (yes, hamburgers). Your beat each stage by placing TNT into a particular box. It's nerve-wracking when you're on your last ship lugging that TNT around. As if the game wasn't challenging enough, earthquakes shake the screen and rubble rains down. When the second stage begins this game absolutely loses its mind. Now you're speeding through caves packed with flying objects and earthquakes going off non-stop. The stage designs become repetitive after a while, but you have to love Zeppelin's brand of arcade-quality shooting fun. © Copyright 2016 The Video Game Critic.

Recommended variation: novice
Our high score: 36,820
1 player 

If you like this game, try: Thunder Force II (Genesis)
Bangai-O (Dreamcast)
One (Playstation)
Piece O' Cake (Atari 2600)
Castlevania Judgement (Wii)

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