NES Reviews B

Bad News Baseball features one of the more memorable intros I've seen in a sports game. As a camera rises slowly from the bottom of a light pole, the blue sky gives way to a stadium and field that slowly come into view from below. It looks pretty amazing! In terms of gameplay, Bad News Baseball adopts the same style as so many other NES baseball titles, with simple controls, whimsical graphics, and a looping musical theme that really gets on your nerves after a while. The fictional players (with names like Roger and Kelly) look like kids on the pitcher/batter screen, but appear short and squat when the whole field is displayed. Close-minded gamers might be uncomfortable with the fact that the umpires are bunny rabbits, but I'm perfectly fine with it. The pitches come across the plate very fast (110 MPH!) so you need to be ready to swing early! The stadium is deep in the gaps and your fielders are slow, so getting a good "jump" on fly balls is critical. When the ball sails out of the stadium you're greeted by a sea of smiling faces. Don't hesitate to perform substitutions later in the game, because the players definitely suffer from fatigue. Although its basic gameplay is unremarkable, Bad News Baseball spices up the action with brief "zoom-ins" of close plays. And after a homerun, the hitter will high-five all of his teammates. Hey, what the hell is Mr. T doing at the end of that line!? Comical animations include players that slam their bats in disgust, or pass out on the field upon being thrown out. The background music is very well composed for the most part, but that irritating whistling part costs the game any chance of an A grade. What really stands out about Bad News Baseball is its excellent playability. The controls are so natural that I never had to consult the manual, and there's just the right number of foul balls. Heck, you can play an entire game in about 15 minutes. It's not the most realistic baseball title for the NES, but Bad News Baseball is hard to beat in terms of pure entertainment value. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

I'll be the first to admit I "missed the boat" on this game the first time around. By the title alone, you might expect Baseball Simulator 1.000 to be all about realism and statistics, but in fact it's just the opposite! On the surface, this appears to be standard NES baseball fare, with small, squat players, simple gameplay, and intuitive controls. The behind-the-batter pitching screen makes it easy to gauge incoming curveballs, and when a ball is hit, you get a nice wide angle of the field. There are six stadiums to choose from including a dome, a park near a harbor, and even one in outer space. They all look pretty much look the same however until a homer is hit and the background scenery is revealed. Baseball Simulator's pacing is brisk, allowing you to toss one pitch after the next with minimal pauses. The fielding is a bit weak, with fly balls that take forever to come back down, and a second baseman that insists on covering first base. It sounds pretty average, until you discover Simulator's ace in the hole: The Ultra League. This is a special set of teams that allow you to employ outrageous power-ups that turn the game on its head. When pitching, ten special pitches include a stopper ball (stops in mid-air), a phantom ball (disappears over the plate), and the ninja ball that breaks into multiple balls. As the batter, special swings include the meteor hit (knocks out the fielder), hyper hit (twice the power), and bomb hit (explodes on impact). There are even special moves for the fielders, including one that lets them leap high in the air. Not only do these power-ups add humor and variety, but since they're limited, they add a strategic element as well. In "normal mode", Baseball Simulator's music is absolutely unbearable with constant ear-splitting whistles, but thankfully it's much better in the ultra league mode. And that's really the only mode you'll need. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

As soon I saw the "SNK" on the title screen, it occurred to me that this is the precursor to the amazing Baseball Stars series that would reign supreme on the Neo Geo system. Sure enough, this cartridge packs the same arcade-style, no-nonsense gameplay. The options are slim, with a single stadium and ficticious teams like the Japan Robins and American Dreams. The graphics aren't fancy but look clean and well defined. In a fitting tribute to Babe Ruth, the players are proportioned like fat slobs. Actually, some of the players are girls - wearing shorts no less! The animation is fun to watch, and I like how pitchers wind up and fielders reach for fly balls. Outfielders will even climb fences to snatch would-be homeruns, occasionally falling into the first row of seats! Check out the batter when he's hit by a pitch - it looks like he's been shot! Also amusing is how after a fielder catches the ball he holds it up for all to see. The controls are highly responsive and intuitive. The action moves along at a breakneck pace, with nine innings running roughly 20 minutes. Umpires call fair and foul balls, and the crowd looks like a sea of Asian men (with a few gray heads sprinkled about). Baseball Stars is entertaining as hell, but it's not perfect. Fly balls are very hard to judge because you can't tell where your outfielder is positioned until the ball reaches his vicinity. Runners cannot return to a previous base once they've reached a new one - a real problem during pop-ups. Finally, I hope you like the theme song that plays throughout the game, because you can't turn it off! In fairness, it does become slightly more intense when a runner reaches scoring position. In addition to the "versus" mode, you can play as your own customized team in a slick calendar-based league mode. With its easy-to-play style and fast pacing, this ranks as one of the better baseball games for the NES. Hint: To make strong throws, hit the button at the same time as the directional pad. © Copyright 2009 The Video Game Critic.

In addition to being a terrific baseball game, Bases Loaded reinvigorated my interest in consoles in the late 1980's when I was more interested in home computers. I had stopped by my friend Tuan's house, and when I walked into his bedroom he was playing this game against my friend Bobby. Bases Loaded may have lacked the sharp graphics and sophisticated controls of a computer game, but I was captivated by its clean visuals, smooth animation, and intuitive gameplay. Innovative for its time, Bases Loaded helped popularize the realistic "behind the pitcher" camera angle, and its fast-paced gameplay has held up well over the years. You can pitch and swing with precision, but fielding is tricky because there's no diving and the fielders move like snails. The game is loaded with memorable moments, and its quirks actually make it more endearing. When pitching a ball way outside, it's hilarious to see the catcher's disembodied mitt float away from the catcher's body. Upon striking out, batters walk back to the dugout dejected with the bat on their shoulders. Pitchers can't seem to resist intercepting balls thrown from third base to first. Relief pitchers drive themselves to the mound, leaving me to wonder who is returning that little cart? And just look how wide that mound is! But the ultimate highlight of Bases Loaded is how you can initiate a brawl by hitting a batter in the face! That feature should be standard in all baseball games. Bases Loaded's background music plays non-stop, which would be irritating if it wasn't so freakin' good! Fielders sound like they're squealing as they throw the ball, but the clear synthesized umpire voices sound great. Bases Loaded lacks a major league license, which may explain why my favorite player is "Paste" from the New Jersey team. With so many overly-complex baseball games on the market today, it sure feels good to get "back to the basics" with a classic like this. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

My original assessment of Batman was heavily influenced by my buddy Eric who is a Batman expert. He claimed it didn't feel like a Batman game and he has a valid point. It doesn't follow the movie's storyline or use its classic musical score. The wall-jumping, ninja-fighting gameplay is a lot like Ninja Gaiden (Tecmo, 1989). But there's still a lot to like about this game. The cut-scenes will get you pumped, especially those showing the amazing Batmobile on the move. The soundtrack is memorable and the graphics are artistic. Those green and purple accents on shadowy gothic scenery are very easy on the eyes. Batman himself is small but responsive. He can punch rapidly, fire projectiles, and wall-jump his way up tall structures. Holding in the jump button results in longer leaps, but sometimes you need to let off a little (like when there's an electric barrier overhead). The control scheme could be better. Pressing the select button pauses the game and also displays your lives and score. I would prefer those to be displayed at all times. Pressing the start button lets you select weapons including a gun, batarang, three-way shot, or at bare minimum your fists. If you find yourself in a tight spot with the wrong weapon, this interface is flat-out clumsy. The stage designs are fair but you're not rewarded for taking chances by venturing off the main path. Later levels are less-imaginative girder and pipe labyrinths. Certain levels have roving bombs you can't destroy, and the electrified walls are a pain in the ass. In some cases you have to fall off a platform, grasp it from the side, and vault off of it. I'm pretty sure that's physically impossible to perform in real life. Likewise you can fall the "wrong way" when hit. Still, the controls are responsive and you get a little further with each play. Batman has its quirks but they probably won't prevent you from playing it over and over again. © Copyright 2015 The Video Game Critic.

I really wanted to like this great-looking, unconventional Batman romp, but the game would not let me. For the first two stages, Return of the Joker does kick ass. I was seriously impressed with the graphic quality - the characters and backgrounds are bigger and bolder than any other NES Batman game. The gameplay is unique as well - it's more like a shooter than a platform beat-em-up. Instead of punching and kicking, Batman uses his "wrist projector" to fire various types of projectiles. The crossbow arrow default weapon is pretty effective, and power-ups can upgrade you to multi-shot "darts" and guided Batarangs. After collecting several "capsules", Batman turns gold and becomes temporarily invincible, unleashing a torrent of Batarangs all over the place. The exhilarating shooting action gives the game a Metroid or Turrican flavor, and there's even a jet-pack stage that plays like a space shooter. Return of the Joker never lives up to its potential however due to cheap hits, unfair stage designs (hidden dangers), and lousy collision detection (overlapping with enemies). You can overcome these issues in the early stage, but by stage three the situation comes to a head. This snowy stage is easy on the eyes with its snowy landscape and starry night sky, but the difficulty is nearly impossible as missiles rain from the sky and bad guys knock you off of icy ledges. The intense shooting action that was such a hoot in the first two levels takes a back seat to simply trying not to fall off of the screen. The game offers continues but no score. I find it amusing how the pause screen display "PAUSE!" like it's something to get excited about. Return of the Joker could have been a nice twist on the standard Batman formula, but these stages are so evil they may as well have designed by the Joker himself. © Copyright 2011 The Video Game Critic.

This good-looking action title effectively conveys the dark, gothic atmosphere of the film, but it asks a little too much of the player. Unlike the first Batman game for the NES, Batman Returns gives you the freedom to meander around the screen as you would in a Double Dragon game. You'll explore locations from the film including Gotham Plaza, Shreck's Department Store, and the Penguin's lair in Arctic World. The characters are large for an NES title, and Batman looks sharp as his cape flaps in the wind. There's a nice variety of circus goons to beat the crap out of, and your punches send them flying off the screen (sometimes in the wrong direction!). Enemies come in several varieties including acrobats, flame-blowers, motorcycle riders, and clowns on stilts. You can punch, guard, and slide-kick, but the jump-kick is probably your best all-around move. Pressing both buttons unleashes a very effective spin attack at the cost of a sliver of health. The fighting action gets a little monotonous as enemies attack in predictable patterns and sometimes linger where you can't quite reach them. When the game tries to get creative, the results are mixed. In one perilous stage you're forced to hop between floating blocks in an electrified pool while clowns shoot at you from the sides. I hate it when that happens! In another stage you're fighting on slanted rooftops and slipping off the entire time! I did like the part with the bomb-dropping toy helicopters in the department store, which you'll need to knock down with your grappling hook. Driving stages provide some high-speed thrills, and it looks funny when thugs try to hang onto your car. Bosses include the Catwoman and Penguin, and to defeat them you'll need to stock up on special weapons like Batarangs, Batdiscs, and test tubes. Batman Returns has a somewhat understated holiday theme that includes some snowy scenery, gift boxes, and a lighted Christmas tree in one scene. The background music consists of catchy tunes that immediately transport you back to the 8-bit era. The difficulty is a problem. You begin with only a fraction of your life bar and hearts are hard to come by. Passwords and continues are available, but they start you back a lot further than you would expect. Batman Returns is a sharp-looking game with a holiday flair, but it's arguably more enjoyable when played with a cheat code. © Copyright 2010 The Video Game Critic.

Groundbreaking for its time, Battletoads still comes across as a very polished, well constructed side-scroller. Had its difficulty been anywhere near reasonable, it would easily merit an "A". But no, this is not even close to being in the same ballpark as "reasonable". Like most video games, the first stage contains chasms to leap over and pig-men to beat the living crap out of. Then things get weird. You'll encounter these freaks with long legs, and once defeated, you use their disembodied limbs as clubs! That's typical of this game's off-beat sense of humor. The first stage ends with an innovative boss battle played from the boss' perspective. In the second stage you'll rappel down into a pit while dealing with toad-eating plants and rope-snapping crows. Each stage of the game offers a variety of interesting and unique challenges, like throwing snowballs at snowmen, surfing log-jammed rivers, and racing against rats. Your ultimate foe is the "dark queen", and I have to tell you - she is one hot chick! Battletoad's fighting action is extra satisfying thanks to its crisp controls and exaggerated attacks, often punctuated with oversized fists and feet. The quirky animations are comical, and you'll even see Space Invader icons towing power-ups. Sadly, most gamers won't appreciate all that Battletoads has to offer, because the game is too [expletive] hard - even with continues! Battletoads supports two-player simultaneous action, but that doesn't make things any easier. If not for my trusty Game Genie, I don't think I would have been able to review this game. Except for the excessive difficulty, there's not much to dislike, except maybe that annoying drumbeat that plays when the game is paused. Battletoads will suck you in with its quality gameplay, only to demoralize you with its relentless difficulty. Even if you like your games hard as nails, Battletoads will beat you into submission and teach you the meaning of pain. Punk! © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

Beetlejuice tries to convey the whimsical macabre humor of the 1988 film, but it's a mess. You play the "ghost with the most" who hops on platforms and unleashes "scares" at opportune moments. You begin by entering a house and making your way upstairs while avoiding dangers such as lights, torches, and fish jumping out of barrels (what?). There's little room for error and momentum tends to carry you into harms' way. You can sustain multiple hits, but after a fish knocks you into a torch which knocks you back into the fish, you're dead. Jumping on clouds as platforms is a time-honored tradition since Super Mario Bros., but the idea of clouds in a house is a little hard to swallow. Beetlejuice does have a few interesting wrinkles like the ability to stomp on small scurrying bugs. Those points that appear are actually monetary values used to purchase "scares" from the shop. Nobody will ever accuse this game of making sense! "Scares" are masks like medusa or skull heads. Each imbues you with a short-lived power (like throwing a bone) required to overcome a particular part of the game. Figuring out how to use scares is largely an exercise in trial and error. Beetlejuice is riddled with technical flaws. There's a delay before the screen scrolls, as if the game's struggling to keep up with the action. If the floor scrolls slightly out of view, you can suddenly fall through the bottom of the screen! When pouncing on large bugs, you can't tell if you're hurting them or they're hurting you! The one graphic highlight is the title screen rendering of the main character's face, as portrayed by Michael Keaton. The off-kilter music restarts when you die, irritating my friend Scott to no end. A continue option lets you resume exactly where you left off except when you reach the boss. If you die there you'll have to restart from the beginning, and that's demoralizing. Beetlejuice tried hard to capture the spirit of the film, but the gameplay could have used a lot more attention. © Copyright 2014 The Video Game Critic.

As far as I can tell, this is the first example of a video game trying to realistically emulate the sport of fishing. The Black Bass is no prize, but hey, you have to start somewhere, right? The attractive title screen's easy-going melody puts you in the right frame of mind for fishing on a lazy summer afternoon. You begin by selecting the type of bait, including spinners, frogs, worms, pencil baits, and shallow runners. After selecting your fishing spot from a non-descript map of a lake, you cast your line using a simple power meter. You view your bait in the water from overhead, and reel it towards the bottom of the screen. Depending on your cast location, visible scenery might include marsh weeds or a beach. Attracting fish largely depends on choosing the right style and color of bait, which largely amounts to good old-fashioned luck. Once a fish appears, it gravitates towards the bait and automatically "hooks" when it bites. These fish look fairly hideous with their freakishly large heads. Who would have known that a black bass is really green? You can also catch trout and pike, but they don't count in the competition. Fighting a fish involves swinging the rod from side to side while periodically reeling in or "thumbing" the line. This can be a long and tedious process if the fish is far away, which he usually is. If the fish becomes aggressive you'll want to let out the line a bit to tire him out. Occasionally a fish will leap clear out of the water, accompanied by a completely inappropriate "boiiiing!" sound effect. Once you finally net a fish, it's exciting to watch the scale tally its weight. The game keeps track of your catches as you advance the ranks, and a password feature lets you save your process. If you've played any modern fishing games, Black Bass can be hard to stomach. There's almost nothing to see and you can't shut off the horrible background music (not to be confused with the fine title screen tune). The years have not been kind to this game, but its sequel "The Blue Marlin" has fared much better. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

Whenever I say anything bad about this game, its legion of fans rush to its defense, urging me to go back and give it another try. I have to admit that Blaster Master is beginning to grow on me somewhat. I can't get that catchy music out of my head, and who can forget the touching "boy and his frog" introductory sequence? I weep uncontrollably each time I watch that thing! For the most part Blaster Master is played in a jumping tank, but your character can also climb out to explore areas on foot. You don't tend to see the words "jumping" and "tank" used together very often, but work with me here. You begin by jumping generic platforms in a wooded area, but later blast your way through underground caverns. Upon falling into some water, I assumed I lost of life, but then realized that underwater areas are part of the game! When you encounter a small door, that's your cue to get out of the tank to explore on foot. Your character looks like a dork with that big white helmet over his huge melon head. Instead of platform jumping, the on-foot stages feature overhead exploration and shooting. Both modes have their own health meters and distinct firepower levels, making Blaster Master feel like two games in one. The graphics aren't bad at all, especially the second stage with its nice medieval castle scenery. Some of the lizard and crab-like bosses look pretty intimidating as well. But despite the positives, Blaster Master never completely won me over. The stage layouts are maze-like and confusing, and you're expected to do a good bit of backtracking. Certain enemies can't be shot because they crawl too close to the ground, and slowdown often rears its ugly head. There's no score, but you do get unlimited continues, so you can pretty much play Blaster Master until you're sick of it. It's not one of my favorites, but Blaster Master deserves some credit for innovation and depth. © Copyright 2004 The Video Game Critic.

Compared to The Black Bass, Blue Marlin looks like a million bucks. Its flashy title screen depicts an enormous swordfish leaping out of choppy, bright blue waters. Awe-some! It's almost enough to make you want to catch a fish! Blue Marlin is far more interactive that its predecessor. Instead of picking a spot on a map, you actually navigate a little boat around a lake with your bait trailing behind. The undulating water looks terrific, as do the surrounding docks, foliage, and villages (although that guy running back and forth on that one building looks awfully suspicious). You can easily determine where to go by the visible schools of fish appearing at random around the lake. If you're lucky, you might even spot a seagull or a marlin leaping out of the water - both very good signs. Dragging your bait through a school of fish usually pops up a window stating: "Hey Dave, I feel a bite on your rod". Yes, that's an actual quote from the game - you can't make up stuff like that. When a fish is on your line, you see an animated fisherman strapped into the back of a boat, and a white flume in the distant water indicating a struggling fish. The bottom of the screen displays vital statistics, along with a nicely rendered reel that makes it easy to see how fast you're reeling in (or letting out). The game uses the same basic techniques involved in real deep-sea fishing (I know because I've done it). You need to alternate between pulling up on the rod and reeling in, while occasionally thumbing the line to recoup you "vitality" when you begin to tire. The fights are pretty intense, and can sometimes last for ten or fifteen minutes. Occasionally you'll be faced with a "dilemma" in the form of a multiple-choice question, and these are fun and exciting. As an example, if your line begins to overheat, you can A) douse it with water, B) free the drag, or C) do nothing. Selecting the wrong answer could result in a snapped line. Once you finally pull a fish aboard, it's always a treat to see what kind you caught. There are several varieties including marlin, swordfish, sailfish, sharks, tuna, dorado, and barracuda. Once you've had enough, you can return to shore for weigh-in, at which time you're presented with a password. The Blue Marlin is an addictive game that bears more than a passing resemblance to King Salmon (Genesis, 1993). If you're looking for some spirited fishing action on the NES, seek out The Blue Marlin. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

The 16-bit versions of Bram Stoker's Dracula (SNES, 1992) were so forgettable I was in no rush to track down this scaled-down NES edition. But as is often the case, this 8-bit incarnation is considerably better! You can tell the programmer "Skunk" really knew what he was doing. I like how the default skill level is "medium" which should always be the case but rarely is. The side-scrolling platform action begins with John Harker slaying ghouls, skeletons, and birds in the forests of Transylvania. If you've played Castlevania (Konami, 1987) and/or Super Mario Bros. (Nintendo, 1995) you'll feel right at home with the controls. You collect coins, throw axes, bump boxes for power-ups, and perform ground pounds to break into underground areas. The fact that you can leap a country mile makes the crumbling ledges a lot easier to traverse. Enemies are defeated with a blue splash for some odd reason, and you can even punch ghosts! The stage designs are so forgiving that touching water or landing on a bed of spikes is rarely fatal. There are hidden areas off the beaten path you can explore to discover extra goodies. Dracula's castle is a maze of floating platforms, lava pits, and fire-breathing statues. It's a shame you can't enter any of those big shadowy doorways. Hitting pause lets you view your score and catch a breather. That's not a bad idea because the pacing of this game is so brisk it feels like a speedrun for Pete's sake. The musical score is your typical NES cacophony but with some ominous undertones. It's not particularly scary but this version of Bram Stoker's Dracula is probably the most enjoyable, and certainly the most playable. © Copyright 2018 The Video Game Critic.

Most gamers associate Bump N Jump (Intellivision, 1982) with the classic Intellivision version. This NES edition should probably be called Bump N Jump 2; it's a different game with completely new stages. While a little more sophisticated graphics-wise, it lacks the arcade playability. The original game cycled through the four seasons as you drove down a scenic freeway, bumping other cars into guardrails while periodically jumping huge gaps in the road. This time you begin on a bridge, but stage two puts you in the middle of a city, leaping over massive walls! That's pretty cool. Stage three has you navigating narrow dirt roads in the countryside, and next you'll find yourself in a desert canyon. I like the crisp arcade graphics but the music isn't so hot. Bump N Jump is missing that sense of unbridled speed. I was wondering if I was supposed to be shifting gears or something as my jittery car putt-putted down the road with other vehicles whizzing by. I subconsciously find myself pushing up constantly and it makes my thumb hurt. Button B is the "emergency brake". Really? I found it hard to knock cars into the rails and some won't budge at all. Be sure to take out the garbage truck whenever it appears. It's worth 500 points and you don't want to have to worry about the mounds of trash it drops. There's plenty of traffic and I find myself jumping like a flea just to stay above the fray. An exclamation point appears when a gap or wall is coming, so you'll want to be quick on the trigger. Of course you don't want to be in the air when that indicator appears or it'll throw off your timing. At the end of each stage you're greeted by a hottie waving a flag, but she's about the size of a bus. Bump N Jump for the NES is kind of weak. There's some fun to be had but stiff controls and a lack of speed keep the excitement to a minimum. © Copyright 2021 The Video Game Critic.