NES Reviews M-N

Although definitely cheesy, this side-scrolling shooter has some cool little features that make it worthwhile. In the crowded field of NES shooters, it's the little details that make all of the difference. You begin Magmax by gliding a ship over a green landscape with angular brown roads that remind me of Xevious. As you blast cannons and spinning metal objects, you'll find parts that latch onto your ship, augmenting its size and firepower. When fully "assembled", you'll be controlling a large walking robot that can fire five shots at a time. He looks like Ultraman! Be sure to cherish the time he's on the screen, because it's hard to dodge missiles when you're that big! Fortunately, taking hits only wears you down one piece at a time. Be sure to shoot those floating "cupcakes" which send black projectiles flying in all directions. Not only does this clear out enemies, but it awards big points in the process. In addition to shooting everything in your path, you can fly over gray circles which transport you to underground areas. Here you'll contend with erupting volcanoes and falling stalactites, but if you can shoot the stalactites down into oncoming enemies, you'll earn mega points! Magmax's generic enemies are somewhat redeemed by its awesome boss - a metallic multi-headed dragon! The game's quirky, playful tunes are somewhat irritating at first but tend to grow on you. Magmax isn't a great shooter, but it has an addictive quality that keeps you coming back for "one more game". If you appreciate NES shooting action, you're bound to find something to like about Magmax. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

Boasting a Major League Baseball license, this game offers all the teams and real players.... from 1987. The players are unnamed (referred to by number), but you do get their actual stats. Sports fans enjoy playing with real players, but the game itself is wretched. You begin by selecting a team and painstakingly stocking your lineup from the available roster. You would think a default lineup would be available, but no, the game forces you to select position-by-position via a user-hostile interface. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, the teams take the field. You'd assume a licensed game would be at least somewhat realistic, but the short, squat players look like they were taken from South Park for Pete's sake! The batter looks like he's holding a freakin' rolling pin, and the uniforms aren't even the right color! When you hit the ball, the entire screen blanks out for a second before the field appears. Get used to these annoying pauses, because they happen a lot! The game does a poor job of selecting your fielder. A batter can lay down a bunt right in front of home plate, yet the game will force you to field it with your pitcher! Even when you field the ball cleanly, there's no way you're throwing out the runner at first. Thrown balls glide through the air like a UFO, slowing down and speeding up in a herky-jerky manner. You'll be rubbing your eyes in disbelief! The game also has a tendency to forget what a force-out is, or call a runner out who is obviously safe by a mile. Major League Baseball is reprehensible. I can only assume the programmers figured gamers would be so giddy with delight over the MLB license that they'd overlook the ugly graphics, rampant glitches, and general lack of fun. © Copyright 2013 The Video Game Critic.

This should have been called Mystery Mansion, because it basically boils down to a lot of little puzzles solved by manipulating lists of items. Part graphic adventure and part text, you use a cursor to build simple sentences like "use key on door" and "give cheese to Jeff". Maniac Mansion's storyline involves three kids trying to save their friend being held hostage by a mad doctor in a large mansion. Before starting, you can select three of six cartoonish characters to play as. These include the obligatory nerd, the gnarly surfer dude, the prostitute (nice dress), and the token black guy. You only control one character at a time, and each has a catchy theme song. The music is great for the NES, but it can still get on your nerves after a while. You can switch it off, but that causes the game to become uncomfortably silent. Maniac Mansion's graphics are pretty good, offering a wide array of well-furnished rooms - including an arcade. It's amusing to explore the house and solve puzzles, at least until you get stuck. Using the cursor is somewhat tedious, but the handy select button lets you easily cycle through the most common commands. The game maintains a whimsical tone, with simple dialogue sprinkled with juvenile humor. The most infamous aspect of the game is how it's possible to explode a hamster in the microwave. The main problem with Maniac Mansion is its complexity, which will turn off all but the most dedicated gamers. There are dozens of items to juggle, and figuring out how each is used requires a lot of trial and error. Some solutions tend to defy logic (give the plastic fruit to the tentacle??) The order in which you complete tasks is critical, and timing is sometimes a factor as well. Last time I checked, video games were supposed to be fun, not work! My cartridge contained a battery back-up that allowed me to skip ahead to the previous owner's spot to get a peek at the advanced stages. That's right - 17 years old and the battery is still working! I know a lot of gamers have fond memories of Maniac Mansion, but I don't think this adventure has aged particularly well. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

Mega Man was the first in a long series of platform shooters that continues to this day. This irresistible side-scroller stars a little guy in a blue suit who acquires new weapons from the bosses he defeats. The six selectable stages are ruled by robots with names like Cut Man, Guts Man, Elec Man, Ice Man, Fire Man, and Bomb Man. Since each stage has its own unique look and feel, Mega Man feels like six games in one. Each level is teeming with dangerous but predictable enemies with names like Flying Shell, Screw Bomber, and Killer Bullet. Mega Man can only fire sideways, but his ability to shoot while climbing ladders comes in handy. This game does so many things right, like letting the player tackle the stages in any order. This adds replay value, although experienced players know that taking on the bosses in a certain order will make your life a lot easier. Mega Man is tough, but as you amass weapons the difficulty becomes more manageable. Of course, no matter how good your firepower is you'll still need to perform a lot of death-defying leaps. The stages are intelligently designed but I don't care for those "disappearing blocks" that force you to memorize patterns before executing perfectly timed jumps. Slowdown runs rampant in certain areas, and there's a preponderance of spikes and bottomless pits. Mega Man's simple graphics make good use of color and the soundtrack is pure 8-bit gold. The lack of a password feature is glaring, despite the unlimited continues. It's easy to nit-pick (the box art is atrocious) but it's also easy to see why this game is cherished by so many NES fans. Note: After six Mega Man titles were released for the NES, the series continued on the SNES, the Playstation, and Xbox Live. © Copyright 2013 The Video Game Critic.

My first experience with the esteemed Metal Gear series was Metal Gear Solid (Playstation, 1997). That game absolutely blew me away, and I still regard it as one of the greatest video games ever made. Playing this original Metal Gear on the NES is interesting because it sheds light on how certain Metal Gear traditions originated. For example, your special ops soldier "Snake" begins his adventure in a jungle with nothing but a pack of cigarettes. Like subsequent Metal Gear titles, the emphasis is on sneaking by guards and employing a wide range of weapons and items. How do you sneak by guards in a 2D game? You simply walk by them when they're facing the other direction, since they tend to move in predictable patterns. Avoiding detection is supposed to be key, but when spotted by an enemy guard, all you have to do to quell the commotion is exit the current screen. The graphics are lousy, with single-colored guards that barely flinch when punched. You can't move Snake diagonally and you're constantly getting stuck on the scenery. Poorly translated dialogue results in grammatically incoherent lines like "I feel asleep!" and "Attempt to contact missing our Gray Fox". There are plenty of supply trucks to investigate, but half of them automatically transport you to a different area ("Uh Oh, the truck have started to move!"). Cheap hits (including trap doors) will frustrate you to no end and send you back to the jungle where you started. I will give the game credit for is its intense, pulse-pounding musical score. It's truly mpressive for the NES. In the final analysis, Metal Gear did a fair job of establishing some original concepts that would define the series in years to come, but only nostalgic gamers will want to relive this tedious adventure. A sequel by the name of "Snake's Revenge" also appeared on the NES. © Copyright 2005 The Video Game Critic.

This side-scrolling shooter is very unique, and by "unique" of course I mean absolutely horrible. Metalstorm puts you in control of a large "mech" who navigates corridors while blasting cannons and two-legged robots that look like something from Robocop. Metalstorm's gimmick is your ability to "flip gravity" by pressing the jump button while holding the directional pad up or down. This gives you the power to walk and jump on the ceiling, as if you were playing the game upside down. This adds strategy, allowing you to reach new areas and target enemies otherwise out of reach. The opening stage is easy and straightforward, allowing you to gradually get comfortable with the controls. You might even start to think that Metalstorm isn't so bad. Oh, it's bad all right! Starting with stage two, the environments become more mazelike, incorporating one-way floors, hidden spikes, and traps like walls that crush you from the sides. Unlike most NES shooters where you can actually enjoy yourself, Metalstorm has you constantly racking your brain to figure out where you can or can't go. The jumping controls are also problematic. Holding down the jump button gives you more height, but in some areas you need to leap with precision, and the platform designs are unforgiving. A password feature is provided, along with a generous number of continues. The game's electronic music is catchy in the first stage, but like the rest of the game, it's all downhill from there. Metalstorm's gravity-flipping gameplay could have been interesting, but thanks to its poorly designed stages, the game has little to offer aside from a splitting headache. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

Having played so many Micro Machines games over the years, I was pretty psyched to finally experience the original NES version. This cartridge is highly sought-after, and it's easy to see why. Micro Machines delivers pure arcade joy as you race toy vehicles through familiar household environments. You'll drive jeeps along a kitchen table, powerboats in a bathtub, formula one cars on a pool table, fly helicopters through the garden, and bounce dune buggies around a beach. Variety is the name of the game, with nine different vehicles and 32 unique tracks! You view the action from overhead and score points when your opponent can't keep up and falls out of view. The scenery sports interesting details like a box of Toppies cereal in the kitchen, sand castles on the beach, and rubber duckies in the bathtub. Micro Machines employs effective scaling techniques to heighten the sensation of jumping ramps or falling off a ledge. A lengthy challenge mode is available for the solo player, but it's rather easy and long. The game is better suited to head-to-head action, lending itself to thrilling races and unabated trash talking. Each tournament consists several randomized stages. You'll be tempted to lean on the accelerator button, but after falling off the kitchen table a few times, you'll learn to take a more cautious approach. To be honest, memorizing the track layouts gives you a huge advantage. The game generally looks great, but for some reason the menu screens are subject to jitters and unsightly artifacts along the edges. On the back of the golden cartridge is an A-B switch, but this didn't seem to have any effect. It doesn't really matter, because Micro Machines represents some of the best racing action you'll find on the NES. © Copyright 2009 The Video Game Critic.

My friends and I recently became fans of Bomb Jack after playing the obscure arcade game on Tecmo Classic Arcade (Xbox, 2005). It's a deceptively simple platformer where you're a little superhero who can leap the height of the screen, collecting bombs for points while avoiding baddies. Each screen offers exotic backdrops like an Egyptian pyramid or a German castle. This NES version is pretty much what you'd expect, expanding the scope of the game while watering down its arcade flair. The side-scrolling stages are non-descript with walls, trees, pools of lava, and chests. Enemies like mummies, birds, and skulls materialize out of thin air - sometimes on top of you! Opening chests (and there are many) requires jumping off of them first, which turns out to be a major hassle. The controls are bizarre. Hitting the jump button in mid-air causes you to stop suddenly, and if you keep hitting it you can hover sideways. Collect enough "mighty coins" and you'll earn a new costume with special powers. Collect too many coins however and you're banished to some kind of "torture room". Wait what?! Sandwiched between the side-scrolling levels are single-screen stages more reminiscent of the original game - and frankly a lot more fun! Mighty Bomb Jack's graphics are uninspired but I like the upbeat music. It's challenging to play for score because the game dares you to "glory seek" and take unnecessary risks. At the conclusion of each game you're presented with a "game deviation value" that rates your performance, and I always get 48. While somewhat contrived, Mighty Bomb Jack accomplished what it set out to do. © Copyright 2016 The Video Game Critic.

Playing this game really opened my eyes to the greatness of the NES. As fun to play now as it was in 1987, Mike Tyson's Punch-Out has aged like wine. Gamers usually associate NES games with relatively small sprites, but the fighters in this boxing game are surprisingly large and well defined. Superbly animated with subtle mannerisms, each endearing character conveys a distinctive personality. I especially love how knocked-out opponents stumble back before hitting the canvas - it looks amazing. The only element that had to be sacrificed for this home version was the size of your fighter, Little Mac. He's about half the size of his opponents, but at least his height gives you a nice view of the action. He'll face ten colorful characters from around the globe, including Glass Joe, Von Kaiser, Piston Honda, Don Flamenco, and King Hippo. Superb controls let you punch high or low, block, and dodge. Unlike other boxing games, this isn't a button-mashing affair. Each fighter exhibits telltale signs that they're about to punch, and the key is to dodge these moves and retaliate with a flurry of counterpunches. Timing is important, but the process of breaking down your opponent's weaknesses is paramount. Mike Tyson's Punch Out!! is full of surprises, like Mario playing the role of referee and cut-scenes showing Little Mac running in front of the New York skyline as trainer Doc Louis rides alongside him on a bike. What's up with that pink jumpsuit, Mac? The music is so terrific that you never tire of hearing it, and crisp audio effects include Soda Popinski's mocking laughter. I recently played this game with friends Steve and Chris (who played it as kids) and we all had a blast. They taught me that if you press the select button at just the right time after a round ends, you can restore a chunk of your health. A pass code is offered after every few fights, so you don't always have to start at the beginning. I've never faced Mike Tyson, but if you watch the intro screens, you'll see a picture of him with his toothy grin. I really can't get over how similar this game is to the new Wii version, but as my friend Chris put it, "you can't get any better than perfection." Note: This game was later re-released as "Punch-Out!!" after Mike Tyson got into legal troubles. © Copyright 2009 The Video Game Critic.

The label for this game features an ominous castle with lightning bolts piercing its soaring towers. The actual game looks nothing like that! The castle is a big brick box and the action takes place during the day. Doors and windows allow you to enter sprawling rooms of ledges, blocks, and springs. Yes, Milon's Secret Castle incorporates all the standard cliches you expect in a platformer. You control a little guy wearing a nightcap. I don't think I've ever seen an actual person wear one of those in real life, by the way. Carnival-style music adds to the unintentionally creepy atmosphere. You fire bubbles at enemies which you can angle slightly upward or downward. This control style is unorthodox but original, and I grew to like it. Stages are populated with a hodgepodge of cute creatures like cyclops, demons, and walruses. Shooting certain blocks reveal dollar signs (money), so you might as well shoot everything in sight and get paid. Obtaining a key allows you to escape the room, but your real goal is to collect enough money to purchase critical items from the shop. If you enter a new room without a required item, you can toil in misery for a long time before realizing you're hopelessly stuck. The arbitrary nature of this game really stinks, and just getting through the first stage requires the help of a guide. By the time you face the first boss you're clinging to an ounce of life. And when this game says "Game Over", it really means it. There are no continues! Hudsoft Soft produced some great games in their day, but Milon's Secret Castle wasn't one of them. © Copyright 2014 The Video Game Critic.

During the intro to Monster Party a little boy spots a falling star. "The beauty of the star made his eyes moist so he didn't notice that the star fell and landed right in front of him." Prose like that is one reason I adore classic games. That is one big bucket of awful right there! On the surface Monster Party is an unremarkable side-scroller. The opening stage looks cheesy with its pastel-colored landscape and platforms stamped with smiley faces. Eventually you walk past a large tree and the stage suddenly turns much darker, with those smiley faces transforming into zombie heads. Now that's more like it! Your initial set of foes include eyeballs with tentacles, dogs with people faces, and punk Asian kids. You can attack by swinging a bat, but since it's short and foes absorb multiple hits, it's hard to avoid taking some damage. Your goal is to collect a key to unlock the door at the end of the stage. Along the way there are caves you enter to reveal items, bosses, but more often than not - empty rooms. What's the point of that? In one room you'll find a giant spider who says "Sorry, I'm dead". The key to beating bosses is to deflect their projectiles back at them with well-timed swings of your bat. It's a clever concept widely employed throughout the game. Another excellent feature is the power-up which transforms you into a green winged demon, allowing you to fly around and unleash rapid-fire missiles! You'll want to be in demon form when you face-off against the jack-o-lantern boss in stage one. Between stages you're presented with some of the worst passwords ever devised, mixing uppercase letters, lowercase letters, and even punctuation marks! Some of the seven stages are mazelike, but there are some memorable monster encounters including a green Minotaur that tosses tiny cows. Tuneful melodies play throughout the game which are sure to rekindle some fond memories. Monster Party doesn't look like much but it's an endearing title that will draw you in if you give it a chance. © Copyright 2014 The Video Game Critic.

Despite adopting a visual style similar to R.C. Pro-Am (Rare, 1987), Monster Truck Rally is an absolute mess of a game. Your view of the track is often bewildering, the physics is ridiculous, and the control scheme makes absolutely no sense. And to think - I was expecting to like this game. I assumed Monster Truck would offer equal parts racing and destruction, but all it delivers is confusion and frustration. The tilted overhead perspective conveys a sense of depth, but the dips and turns of the track are not rendered clearly at all. Not only do hills often resemble turns, but the road often appears to come to an abrupt dead end! Is it any wonder my friends and I were constantly plowing into guardrails? Even crushing rows of cars is lame - about as exciting as crawling through the mud. Then there's the awful control scheme, which only uses one button and yet still manages to mystify!! I could try to explain how the A button is supposed to both accelerate and shift gears, but I'm trying to limit this review to one paragraph. And if you expected the two-player mode to save the day, you'd be sadly mistaken my friend. When your opponent falls behind, the computer forces him back onto the screen, often giving him enough of a boost to overtake you. I actually played the two-player game with the second controller sitting idle on the floor, and almost lost. You'll catch some air over hills, but that often sends you crashing into invisible walls. But those are the least of your worries. Making contact with another truck sends you into a tailspin, and you usually wind up facing the wrong direction. That certainly doesn't promote a smash-up style of play. I tried a number of the "events" like the "sled pull" and "draw bridge", but each was worst than the last. Never play Monster Truck Rally. It will crush your very soul. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

Monster in my Pocket is not a euphemism; it's a line of toys released by Matchbox in 1990. This video game tie-in came with a free exclusive monster, which as you can imagine really jacks up the value of a complete copy. Monster in my Pocket is well-programmed but generic platformer. You can control either a vampire or the Frankenstein monster, but both feel exactly the same. Does the concept of controlling a tiny monster in household environments sound appealing? If you're eight years old, maybe. You'll hop along furniture and scamper across kitchen counters while vanquishing a wide variety of creatures. I counted 39 different adversaries in the manual for crying out loud! There are zombies, witches, skeletons, ogres, minotaur, and just about anything else you can think of. There's even a God-damned Kraken for Pete's sake! The creatures tend to be rendered in few colors and subject to break-up, making them hard to discern at times. The controls are really good. The double-jump works like a charm and when you punch you unleash a visual burst of energy. Sometimes you'll find a large key, but all you can do is hurl it at oncoming creeps. The gameplay is ordinary and predictable. The stages are plain and the worst has to be the obligatory sewer level (required by law). It sucks how you sometimes jump off a table and fall into a mob of monsters milling around below. The two-player simultaneous mode is fun in theory, but in practice it's hard to keep both characters on the screen. Monster in my Pocket is technically sound but I'm afraid you'll forget about this one the minute you shut it off. © Copyright 2015 The Video Game Critic.

Ninjas are awesome, and when I say awesome, I mean totally sweet. If you don't believe me, check out the The Official Ninja Web Page and see for yourself. I can't stop thinking about ninjas which is why I dig Ninja Gaiden so much. It's all the non-stop jumping, slashing, and star-tossing ninjas perform every day in real life. The star of the game, Ryu, is fleshed out via stylized cutscenes that are a heck of a lot of fun to watch. Ninja Gaiden also features a kick-ass soundtrack that's sure to boost your testosterone level. The characters are small but the locations and enemies are diverse and interesting. You begin in a concrete jungle with granular brick facades, storefronts, and sign posts. The first boss encounter takes place in a shadowy bar rendered in amazing detail. Besides jumping and fighting, you can also cling to walls. You use this ability to vault to high places, but it's annoying how you can't actually climb most walls (unless there's a ladder of course). In terms of difficulty, Ninja Gaiden is brutal. The only thing worse that taking a hit is being knocked off your heels into the nearest pit, which happens with alarming frequency. And how am I supposed to jump on a platform when there's a sword-swinging goon just sitting there waiting for me? Power-up icons help a lot - especially the "fire wheel" that destroys enemies on contact. I just wish it lasted more than a few seconds! You do get unlimited continues, so with a little perseverance you'll make gradual progress. Interestingly, this game won an award back in 1989 for "best ending in a video game". Ninja Gaiden spawned two hit sequels, and the series continues to this day in its various 3D incarnations. © Copyright 2017 The Video Game Critic.

Tecmo didn't waste any time cranking out a sequel to its mega-popular jump-and-slash martial arts hit. Our hero Ryu looks the same but he's more agile in Ninja Gaiden 2. Not only can he climb walls, but he also has the ability to toss projectiles while hanging off of them. The stages offer more variety with locations like a moving train, a snowy mountain ridge, and city rooftops at night (always a crowd pleaser). Intriguing cut scenes are used convey a storyline with no shortage of twists and turns. Ryu encounters mysterious characters he's never met before but follows their instructions anyway. The controls are improved but still could be better. It's nice to scale walls instead of vaulting off everything, but reaching the very top still requires a vault to a nearby ledge. The new power-ups are not particularly useful and often detrimental! The "shadow ninjas" give you two or three trailing "ghosts", but for the most part they are worthless! They rarely hit anything and are distracting as hell! The one power-up you need most - health - is extremely rare. The game features some strange adversaries, including what appear to be giant roaches in red overcoats. Ninja Gaiden 2 is packed with action and frustration. The mountain level has "wind" to help or hinder your jumps, so you'll need to time them perfectly. And whenever you're struck by a projectile you automatically lunge back, sending you plunging into the nearest abyss. And it is really necessary for the stages to be timed? This game is hard enough as it is! Ninja Gaiden II dishes out the martial arts mayhem, but you'd better bring your A-game. © Copyright 2017 The Video Game Critic.

Completing the sacred trilogy, Ninja Gaiden III offers more dynamic environments, a pumping soundtrack, and feats of agility like you've never seen. This third chapter begins with a shocking cut-scene showing our hero Ryu killing the same chick he spent the two first games trying to save! What the hell?! Gaiden 3's visuals have clearly been upgraded from the previous games, with detailed scenery that's remarkably crisp and colorful. The opening stage takes place in a laboratory with grotesque life forms suspended in large tanks of liquid. Imaginative enemies include metallic spiders who patrol ledges, using their single eye to scan for intruders. The controls have been revamped so you can pull yourself onto ledges and even hang off the bottom of platforms and climb hand-over-hand. Jumps are longer and floatier. When slashing Ryu yells "HYA!" as his katana leaves a nice white streak. Like the previous two games the challenge is relentless. The second stage begins with an arduous trek through the desert with quicksand sucking you down as monsters swarm from above. If you survive, your perilous journey takes you into an underground area with spikes lining the ceiling (don't jump!) and lava below. When the lava begins to rise, you need to constantly jump to stay above it. Unfortunately, soldiers are waiting on the ledges above to knock you into the lava. Stage three takes place in a jungle, if you can get that far. Unlike the first two games, you only get five continues. You lose most of your lives not by depleting your health bar, but by falling into a precipice or lava. Ninja Gaiden III looks, sounds, and controls great, but its harsh level designs will teach you the meaning of pain. © Copyright 2017 The Video Game Critic.

The graphics in Nintendo World Cup look a heck of a lot like Super Dodge Ball (Imagesoft, 1988). I can't decide if the players look more like Frankenstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger. When you tackle an opponent his eyes bulge for some reason... kind of like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Total Recall! This game is deeper than Soccer (Nintendo, 1985) but far less playable. The screen is a mess! The scrolling is jerky and the graphic break-up is ugly. Bad physics causes the ball to float through the air in an unnatural manner. I was looking forward to trying this with four players, but it was confusing because all the players look the same. The unorthodox controls have a major learning curve. After five minutes my friend Chris asked "which button is to kick?" That's never a good sign for a soccer game. Once my friends learned how to tackle they start beating the crap out of each other like a bunch of Hope Solos. I had more luck playing alone. Before each match you adjust settings for offensive strategy, defensive strategy, and the option to allow cpu teammates to shoot (hell yes!). What's missing is a difficulty setting. During the game you only see a small section of the field, but there's a radar at the bottom of the screen to track your location. You only control one player for the entire game, but can issue orders to teammates like "pass" and "shoot" (to which they normally reply "I can't!") I appreciate how there's no offside penalties, but things get confusing when players overlap in front of the goal. Hitting both buttons performs a bicycle kick, and it's satisfying to score that way. I find it hilarious how injured players remain on the field, lying lifeless as play continues around them. Nintendo World Cup has some advanced features, but it's too awkward and sloppy to recommend. © Copyright 2017 The Video Game Critic.