NES Reviews S

This point-and-click adventure induced flashbacks of a game I reviewed last year called Uninvited (Icom, 1991). The clunky interface is exactly the same. Shadowgate is a medieval/horror game of mystery and intrigue. It requires you to issue one-word commands to interact with items, solve puzzles, and fight monsters. The first-person view of each room is small but nicely illustrated. You begin at a door on the edge of a forest, where you become almost immediately stuck. It seems like every combination of commands results in "you seem to be wasting your time". Yeah - no kidding! The FAQ revealed I had to do the most illogical thing imaginable (spoiler alert: "open" the skull above the door). As you venture deep inside there are dangers lurking everywhere. In addition to deadly traps you'll contend with monsters like cyclops, werewolves, and demons. Critical items must be obtained in the most roundabout manner, including a key being held by a skeleton standing over a shark-infested pool. The gameplay is largely trial and error, but as you collect dozens of items the possibilities increase exponentially. You are always one false move away from instant death. You'll perform the most innocuous action which sets off a chain of events that leaves you staring at the grim reaper. Shadowgate would be impossible if not for the unlimited continues and your ability to save at any time (pretty awesome for an NES title). The game doesn't always make sense but as you inch further along it's fun to see what lies around the next corner. The audio/visual style has a certain ambiance and the music is melodic. As a child my buddy Chris sunk endless hours into Shadowgate without making much progress. Well, 25 years later he got the last laugh. Shadowgate may be tough but it doesn't stand a chance against a gamer armed with an FAQ! With Brent at the controls and Chris directing, I watched them complete the game in about an hour and a half. It's amazing how cryptic some of the puzzles are. Open a bucket? Use a torch to light a carpet on fire?! Who would have thought of this stuff?! The funny thing is, they still had a good time, rating it a solid C. I'm not so generous, but Shadowgate has a certain Halloween charm that's hard to deny. © Copyright 2014 The Video Game Critic.

I want to thank all of the readers who highly recommended Shatterhand. Some NES games grow on me over time, but this platform/action title immediately won me over. When I first laid eyes on that initial factory stage with the crane silhouettes and red flames against that deep blue night sky, I was like, "Whoa, that looks really good!". The stage locations aren't terribly imaginative, but they are artistically rendered with subtle color combinations and layered to convey the illusion of depth. Likewise the characters are crisply defined and realistically proportioned. You play a police officer fitted with cybernetic hands. These allow you to literally shatter the cyborg soldiers you punch, and it's satisfying! Shatterhand has a distinct Metroid flavor, with tight controls and frequent power-ups. Collecting three Greek symbols gives you a floating robot sidekick outfitted with one of eight weapons (depending on the letter combination). The robot wears out over time, and if you're lucky he'll still be around when you encounter the next boss. The detailed animation is superb. When your character drops down a platform, he crouches slightly to lessen the impact. There are seven stages, and all but the first and last can be played in any order. Locations include a refinery, submarine, a fire-ravaged city, and a filtration plant which my friend Scott likes to call the "forest moon of Endor". You'll explore disorienting anti-gravity chambers and creepy labs with floating embryos. Shatterhand is simple in concept yet very challenging. The game offers limited continues and a slick high score screen. Last but not least, the music is pure 8-bit gold. Shatterhand's gameplay doesn't diverge much from the standard formula, but its superb execution makes this one of my favorite NES games. © Copyright 2010 The Video Game Critic.

After receiving so many requests to review Silver Surfer over the years I started wondering if the game had a cult following or was just bad. Now I know! The title screen boasts a slick illustration accompanied by some mind-blowing electronic music. It sounds like someone's cutting a record for crying out loud! The introductory cut-scene is impressive too, although the premise seems a little over the top. You need to find an artifact to save all the life in the entire universe? That's asking a lot of a third-rate hero like Silver Surfer. You can select between five stages, each ruled by a different villain. This would be a nifty feature if all of these stages weren't hard as balls. Did anybody actually play-test this game?! In Reptyle's water stage the first thing you encounter are helpless-looking orange fish which can absorb about six freakin' shots! Even when you equip the orb (which can be aimed in multiple directions), you'll barely muster enough firepower to defeat a frog! I like the idea of multiple routes through the stage, but merely touching a wall spells instant death. Mephisto's stage features ghosts that emerge from doors and swarm the screen. Since your firepower is so weak you find yourself playing very defensively, desperately trying not to die. Good luck with that. The overhead vertical shooting stages would provide a nice change of pace except your surfboard is too damned long. The fortress you navigate is heavily fortified, but even with no enemies the stage would be nearly impossible. Dying sends you all the way back to the very beginning of the stage, and that's just brutal. You can play Silver Surfer for high score but don't expect to make much progress. The manual includes some history and a short comic, but it's little more than a consolation prize for buying a failure of a game that should have been good. © Copyright 2014 The Video Game Critic.

After playing the Skate or Die games on my NES last summer I was pretty psyched up for this cold weather edition. Ski or Die does a nice job of conveying the atmosphere of an inviting ski resort. The snow-covered evergreens and scenic mountain backdrops are appealing, and I love the cozy ski shop and working chair lifts on the main screen. Each of the game's five events is unique. In the snowboarding half-pipe you not only perform elaborate stunts but also collect penguins while avoiding chainsaw-toting bunnies. It's a perfectly reasonable premise but those pixelated bunnies are hard to make out. The second event is called snowball blast, and it's basically a target-shooter where you take aim at "brats" (kids), polar bears, and even the abominable snowman. Its wintry snow-scapes look terrific and knocking brats off their feet is satisfying. Downhill blitz is a lot like Skiing (Intellivision, 1980) where you guide a skier down a mountainside. Unfortunately it's harder than it should be due to confusing directional controls and narrow trails. In "acro-arials" you soar off a large ski ramp and perform tricks in mid-air before nailing the landing (like the "hot dog" event in Winter Games). It's fun to experiment but sometimes you'll get stuck in an awkward position and end up doing a face-plant. Five judges rate your performance, and the fourth one is a real bastard. The final event is a head-to-head tubing battle, and while you'd expect it to be the best of the bunch, it's surprisingly slow and laborious. Four players can compete, and you can play the events individually or play through them all in just a few minutes. Quirky music and bad voice synthesis just add to the fun. Ski or Die is no classic but if Mother Nature isn't delivering the white stuff you can always live vicariously through this. © Copyright 2012 The Video Game Critic.

If you're in the mood for some swashbuckling action without the tedious strategy, Skull and Crossbones is the game for you. It's kind of a lightweight, arcade-style pirate experience. You're out to rescue a shapely princess from a wizard trying to hypnotize her chest. There are five selectable stages set in various ships and fortresses. Completing each side-scrolling stage requires scouring each deck, mast, scaffolding, and walkway for hidden booty. When a skull and crossbone icon appears, it will materialize into treasure or some other icon after a few seconds. It's a hassle to wait but you need to beware of red "death" icons that will bring your game to an abrupt end. Skull and Crossbones is easy to play. Your buccaneer's movements are so smooth and responsive the game feels effortless at times. You can tap the button as fast as you want to swing your sword, toss knives, and shoot your gun. It's easy to quickly blow through your ammo but if you can save some for the boss it'll make your life a lot easier. I love how enemies spurt crimson blood! When you fall off the screen, you somehow roll right back on! Is there even a penalty? Likewise using one of your five continues lets you pick up right where you left off. Enemies include pirates, skeletons, mummies, and ninja, but the worst are the ubiquitous rats because they're always jumping on you. The fact that enemies can shoot through the walls is cheap but at least you can too! Each stage culminates with a frantic boss encounter against a ship captain, ninja master, masked executioner, or Medusa. The game even has a two-player split-screen mode, which is practically unheard of for an NES platformer. At the end of each game you're awarded with a title like a deck swabber, scurvy dog, or cabin boy. Skull and Crossbones is just plain fun. It dispenses with the drudgery and just lets you go buck wild like a real pirate would. © Copyright 2020 The Video Game Critic.

Sky Shark is an exciting vertical airplane shooter along the lines of 1942. As you fly over jungle, sea, and desert environments you fire exclamation marks at tanks, boats, planes, and cannons. Your P-40 fighter plane has modest firepower (initially) and a set of bombs that can decimate a large area. The first stage features some attractive jungle scenery, and you really need to keep an eye out for tanks hiding in the foliage. Shooting down a squad of eight red planes reveals a power-up that incrementally increases your firepower. Go for it, but avoid the corners of the screen whenever possible - they're a death trap! It's easy to let your guard down after dispatching the tank boss, but stay alert because there are still a few straggling enemies left before the end of the stage. The second stage takes place at sea, and frankly it looks awful with that solid blue background. Readers told me I overrated Sky Shark the first time around (grade: A-), and they were probably right. Unlike most shooters where enemy missiles are red and clearly visible, the missiles here tend to blink and blend into the scenery. The problem exists in most stages, and most notably in the desert where yellow missiles disappear over yellow sand. It doesn't help that the collision detection is so unforgiving. The lack of a rapid-fire option can be a serious issue for those not lucky enough to own an NES Advantage joystick like I do. Its precision joystick coupled with an auto-fire option really elevated my enjoyment of this game. My friend Chris and I were determined to beat Sky Shark so we stuck in the Game Genie and set it for maximum power and infinite lives. You'd think that would be enough, but we actually had to resort to slow motion to get through some of the more treacherous stages. We didn't even realize when we reached the end because the game starts over! Sky Shark has its flaws, but its intense, white-knuckle action is sure to keep you coming back. © Copyright 2011 The Video Game Critic.

It's easy to tell this game was designed by the guy who created Robotron 2084 (Eugene Jarvis), because Smash TV is a logical evolution of that frantic shooter. The premise is similar to the film The Running Man starring Arnold Schwartzenegger. You play a contestant on a futuristic game show who must survive a series of rooms swarming with shooting robots and club-swinging thugs. Like Robotron, the control scheme is designed for dual-joysticks so you can move independently of your aim. You may be surprised to hear that this scheme is supported on NES, facilitated by allowing each player to use two controllers. It works surprisingly well, partly because you hold the controllers vertically which makes them more comfortable to grasp. Smash TV is an action-packed shoot-a-thon that will have you scampering around like a chicken as enemies pour out of the woodwork. Power-ups appear early and often, including three-way shots, piercing missiles, and heat-seeking cookies! Despite the frenzy of activity I never noticed any drop-off in the frame-rate, and that's admirable. Most characters tend to be small and ill-defined, but bosses like Mutoid Man are impressively large. I love how his mechanical body parts fall off as you wear him down. As you progress a cheesy talk show host (with babes in his arms) jeers you via rough voice synthesis. At one point he exclaims, "Good luck - you won't need it!" Huh? I won't need it? Compared to the arcade version of Smash TV, this NES edition compares favorably. It may lack the wonderful gore of the arcade, but not having to worry about those pesky mines improves the gameplay. This is a fun game to play for high score, but frequent bonus lives tend to extend the length of the game. And if your hand doesn't get numb from the non-stop carnage, your brain just might. © Copyright 2010 The Video Game Critic.

A lot of readers have recommended Solar Jetman over the years, but I'm sorry to say this game is severely overrated! Solar Jetman expands upon the Lunar Lander-style of gameplay, which frankly was never so hot to begin with. You control an egg-shaped "jetpod" traveling from planet to planet while searching for parts. Your pod is very well-rounded (literally) and it looks very cool when it rotates. Enjoy that, because it's the best part of the game! Each planet offers a set of scrolling caverns lined with cannons, aliens, and items to collect. One button engages your thrusters and the other fires your weapon. When your pod is destroyed, your pilot emerges in a jetpack, allowing him to trek back to the base for a new pod. Navigating the expansive caverns is confusing because they all look the same. Methodically collecting items and towing them back to your base requires a monumental amount of skill and patience, mainly because the gravity is so [expletive] strong! Each item you pick up seems to weigh a ton, and some require a good 15 seconds of continuous thrusting just to lift them off the ground! And just when you gain a little momentum, the item swings on its tether, sending you crashing into the nearest wall. Advanced levels complicate matters by incorporating gravity generators! Just what we need - more gravity! At least the collision detection is forgiving, and you can activate a shield at any time. Sadly this causes you to drop the item you've been towing! I was hoping that power-ups like "efficient engines" might ease the pain, but I soon realized I was fighting a losing battle. Some gamers will relish the challenge, but even the first level pushed my patience to the limit. Solar Jetman has a unique visual flair, but its fun factor is crushed under the weight of its outrageous difficulty. © Copyright 2010 The Video Game Critic.

Sqoon is an obscure little shooter with a funny little name that's developed a cult following over the years. There just aren't too many rapid-fire submarine shooters for the NES. Whoever programmed this game was well-versed in blast-processing (TM) technology; I've never seen such frenetic shooting on the system. Obviously set in the not-too-distant future, each stage offers a submerged city from an exotic location like Hawaii, India, Greece, and Egypt. Your little pink submarine launches torpedoes like crazy while dropping white bubble bombs. You'll need that firepower because waves of fish and turtles quickly converge on you in swirling attack patterns. It's difficult to keep them at bay until you power-up your weapon. If you manage to land the three-way shot things become considerably easier - for a while anyway. Be sure to dig your favorite rapid-fire joystick out of the closet because otherwise Sqoon can be exhausting. Your primary goal is to rescue humans by springing them from their prisons on the ocean floor. Orcas are the most annoying creatures in the game, congregating around your sub at all times. They can't harm you but they will carry off a nearby human whenever they have the chance. Upon collecting nine people your sub docks with a "motorized island" to unload them. One source of frustration was my tendency to run out of fuel. I had to do some research just to figure out how to refuel! First you look for a crab on the ocean floor. Shoot a crab and collect the pink box that magically appears. Transport that box to the floating island and it will drop a refueling icon. Be sure you catch it! Wow, that has to be the most convoluted, non-intuitive refueling process ever devised. Sqoon is a strange game but its rapid-fire mayhem, oceanographic theme, and unusual spelling add up to a very compelling water adventure. Protip: Pass over crosses to earn free lives. © Copyright 2020 The Video Game Critic.

Similar to Zelda, Startropics is a charming action-adventure that won me over almost immediately. You play as a generic kid exploring tropical islands in search of your lost uncle. You'll travel between islands via a special submarine, and chat with villagers while enjoying bright scenery and festive steel drum music. Each island features caves that contain dungeons very much in the Zelda tradition. Wielding unusual weapons like a yo-yo and a baseball bat, you'll battle ninja monkeys, pirate ghouls, and belligerent starfish. There's even a mutant ostrich who thinks he's the boss of me! You are not the boss of me mutant ostrich!! Each room has a secret that will reveal the exit. Sometimes you'll need to clear out the monsters, and sometimes you'll need to activate a hidden switch. Since your character is relatively large, you're an easy target for converging snakes and raining fireballs. Some of the hits are pretty cheap, and some seem downright mandatory! But the real problem with Startropics is its stiff controls. You can't move diagonally, and there's a slight pause while turning 90 degrees. That's inconvenient when you want to side-step a swooping bat. Since your angles of attack are limited, you're forced to compensate by predicting your enemies' movements. Fighting is awkward, but the jumping controls are a breeze, and hopping on panels to activate switches is surprisingly fun. The game automatically saves your progress at designated spots, and my battery still works! Startropics is a tough game, and I couldn't get through a dungeon without lashing out with a few expletives. I curse because I care, people (you know that). Upon losing a life not only does the game set you back a few rooms, but you lose your weapons and only get half of your life back! Give me a break! The magic items help a lot, but they can be pretty hard to come by. Startropics may test your resolve, but if you don't give it a try you're just letting the best things in life just pass you by. © Copyright 2010 The Video Game Critic.