Saturn Reviews F-L

Most F1 games are simulations that require knowledge of the sport and a significant time investment for races that run dozens, sometimes hundreds, of laps. F1 Challenge tries to cater to the more casual fans that prefer arcade over simulation, but sometimes you need to be careful what you ask for. You select from several real drivers including future (now past) racing legend Michael Schumacher participating in his very first season. Tracks include Hockenheim, Suzuka, Monte Carlo, and three fictional Neo City courses (novice, advanced, expert). F1 Challenge bears a resemblance to Virtua Racing (Sega, 1995) with its vivid colors, smooth framerate, and chunky scenery. You toggle between two views: behind the wheel and behind the car. I couldn't help but notice that my wheels look extremely angular from the first-person perspective. The bright scenery is pleasant but unspectacular and exhibits substantial pop-up. A steering wheel accessory adds realism but the standard controller works surprisingly well. The gameplay is pure arcade mayhem as you bounce off rails and other cars without losing speed! When jockeying for position on the Monaco track it feels like you're playing bumper cars! Each race is eight laps, and while I would prefer three I guess that wouldn't be enough to work your way up 24 positions. You always have the option of pulling into the pit-stop but I don't know why you would (except maybe to switch to your round tires). The lack of a two-player mode is disappointing. F1 Challenge tries to bring out the fun of the sport but it just doesn't feel representative of F1 racing. © Copyright 2018 The Video Game Critic.

Combining the simple controls of Virtua Fighter 2 (Saturn, 1995) with the frenetic action of Battle Arena Toshinden (PS1, 1995), Fighting Vipers is a high-quality Saturn exclusive. Vipers offers an appealing arcade style with a high-energy guitar soundtrack, interesting stages, and a cast of memorable characters. Jane might as well be G.I. Jane because she's a real bad-ass. Grace is roller derby girl and Candy is a hottie with a fierce butt attack. Raxel is the obligatory rockstar and Sanman is a rotund police officer who can roll your ass like a bowling ball. The three-button block/punch/kick scheme is easy to grasp while still offering dozens of moves per character. The animation is impressive and the character models are finely detailed. If they appear a little chunky it's because of their protective armor. I find the armor to be unnecessary but I guess they were trying for something different. In my experience Fighting Vipers rewards those who take an aggressive approach. If you bum-rush your opponent with a flurry, you can trap him with a juggle against a wall before he can lay a hand on you. When your opponent is on the ground, be sure to add insult to injury with a gratuitous foot stomp. A well-timed finishing move will send your opponent crashing through the closest wall (sweet). The arcade mode challenges you to complete eight matches in record time, and with 30-second rounds you can finish in well under ten minutes. You also get versus, tournament, and a playback mode that lets you replay your fights. If you enjoy city skylines at night, Fighting Vipers has got you covered with some extraordinary backdrops that make the game look spectacular. I only wish that majestic bridge wasn't obstructed by those cheesy cardboard walls. My favorite stage takes place on an elevator riding up a skyscraper, and it's possible to send your opponent plunging over the side! Fighting Vipers in an inspired slugfest that will appeal to both button mashers and purists alike. © Copyright 2017 The Video Game Critic.

Final Fight Revenge is notable for being the only Final Fight title on the Saturn and also the last game released for the system. Those expecting a side-scrolling slugfest will be disappointed to hear Revenge is a one-on-one 3D fighter along the lines of Tekken (Playstation, 1995). The characters include Final Fight favorites including Haggar, Cody, Guy, Andore, Sodom, Rolento, and a hottie named Poison with pink hair. Some of these characters actually appeared in Street Fighter titles as well. Interestingly enough, Poison was identified as a transgender fighter by the game's designers trying to sidestep any domestic violence implications. The title screen of Revenge boasts an awesome electrified die-cast metal design, and the character select screen is also slick. Prepare for a letdown however when you actually start playing. The characters are rendered with chunky polygons, no textures, and lousy definition. Revenge also feels dog slow next to comparable Playstation fighters like Rival Schools. Weapons are lying around and you can position yourself over them using the side-step button. Grabbing weapons seems like a good idea but most are surprisingly ineffective. You'll need to perform a special move just to shoot the gun, and the damage is minimal. Don't hestitate however to snag any "bludgeoning" weapons like the iron pipe or hammer, as you can really lay into your opponent with those. Revenge isn't the best Capcom has to offer, but its deliberate pace gives it a more strategic quality. I love the attention to detail, like when you run out of bullets and your character throws his gun. After getting defeated by the cop, he writes you a ticket. The game is full of bizarre surprises, including special moves that spawn police cars and helicopters. Andore's hand can become huge (reminiscent of the Foo Fighters Neverlong video) and bitch-slap the hell out of his opponent. There are even bone-crunching "x-ray" attacks (!) like those used later in Mortal Kombat (Xbox 360, 2011). But my favorite part of the Final Fight Revenge are its stages, which include a city park, Chinatown, an icy meatpacking plant, and a junkyard at sunset. The scenery looks digitized, and the night stages are downright spectacular. The jazzy musical score calls to mind classic side scrollers like Streets of Rage, and the arcade mode records high scores. Final Fight Revenge won't win any awards, but I found it a lot more interesting than your garden variety fighter. Note: This Japanese import requires the Action Replay Plus 4M cartridge. © Copyright 2014 The Video Game Critic.

This is a pretty marginal baseball game, especially compared to Sega's superb line of World Series games. Big Hurt's graphics are less than exciting, with a wide-angle view of the field that makes the players appear small and pixelated. The large digitized batters look pretty nifty, but the pitching controls are counter-intuitive and the bat controls are not responsive enough. When anticipating a fastball, you'd better start your swing as the ball leaves the pitcher's hand, or you'll never get around on it. The fielding isn't so bad, with tight controls and realistic animations like first basemen that stretch for errant throws. In contrast to the fielders, the base runners look positively awful. Not only are they incredibly pixelated, but they scamper around like they're running on ice! After each play there's an uncomfortable pause as the computer attempts to figure out if the play is really over. I find it interesting how the CPU player will pause the game and peruse the menu options right before your eyes (to manipulate his bullpen or rosters). That's pretty cool, but at first I thought my controller was broken! Big Hurt's commentator does a respectable job, but his sentences tend to be disjointed - a common issue for early CD games. Actually, it's quite humorous to hear stuff like, "At the end of. The third inning. Baltimore. Four. Toronto. ZERO!!" There's also a PA announcer who inexplicably doesn't know how to pronounce many players' names (John Olerud is a prime example). Worst of all, there's no instant replay - a definite no-no for a game made in 1996. Don't let this game put the big hurt on your wallet. To be frank, I'd stick with World Series Baseball instead. © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.

Through the Eyes of the Monster is an obscure Saturn title only released in Europe. It's one of those oddities you hear bits and pieces about but have never met anyone who's actually played the thing. The box is thin and made of rigid black plastic - a far cry from the fragile clear Saturn cases. There's also a healthy-sized manual which explains the history of Mary Shelly's novel and even contains a run-down of all the Frankenstein-related motion pictures (trashing most of them). The game itself is played from a first-person perspective. You assume the role of a surprisingly well-spoken reanimated individual named Philip. Once you get up and start moving around the doctor played by famed actor Tim Curry drops by every now and then to offer words of discouragement. I love the look of the game. The pre-rendered castle looks amazing with photorealistic stone walls, elaborate contraptions, and plenty of shadowy corners. This game may be too dark; half the time I didn't even know what I was looking at. As you wander the grounds you'll move a hand-shaped cursor around the screen to examine items, pick up objects, and solve puzzles. The user interface leaves much to be desired. Pressing start brings up the save screen but it's very counter-intuitive. Navigating the rooms and hallways is tedious as all get-out. The doors all look the same and most are locked. You'll see a hallway with doors ahead but when you click to move forward you never know where you're going to end up. You might be facing a door or a black wall. With no map or compass it's hard to get your bearings, and getting stuck in a dark passageway is a fate worse than death itself. Head-scratching puzzles... having to write down clues... moving a little hand all over the screen... I can't take it any more! This game makes Myst look like Mario Party! You know a game has issues when even the freaking FAQ doesn't help. Frankenstein: Through the Eyes of the Monster is slow, thought-provoking adventure about a tortured soul. But while trying to play it I suddenly became painfully aware that the tortured soul was me! Note: I played this on my American system using an Action Replay cartridge. © Copyright 2019 The Video Game Critic.

It's no classic, but if you're into 2D shooting, this low-profile title can be a lot of fun. In many ways, Galactic Attack's visuals and gameplay are so conventional that you'll feel as if you've played it before. Ported directly from the arcade, the screen is narrow with black bars on each side. With stages set in deep space and over the various planet surfaces, you take aim at the usual space ships, jets, robots, cannons, and tanks. You'll also strafe large battleships, wearing them down until they explode. One distinctive feature about Galactic Attack is the large size of your enemies. Even the smaller ships are positively huge and take up more real estate than I would prefer. Your rapid-fire guns are effective, but "lock-on" missiles play a more crucial role. As enemies scale in from the background, you can move your cursor over several targets and then unleash a torrent of missiles to take them all out. It feels like Panzer Dragoon (Saturn 1995), and the explosions are satisfying. My question is, what happens when an enemy leaves the screen before my locked-on missile can strike it? Does it escape or is it destroyed off screen? Galactic Attack's graphics are about average, although the pixilation can be excessive at times. The scenery is uninteresting for the most part, although I did like the floating islands with the lakes. Galactic Attack's audio is positively weak, with forgettable electronic music and muffled voice samples I could not understand. But my primary beef is how your ship tends to get lost under the status indicators on the bottom of the screen. There's an option to turn this information off, but that also removes your score and ship information from the top of the screen. Hey, I need that stuff! Oh well, it has issues but Galactic Attack is still decent if you're up for some intense shooting action. The challenge is there, and it offers limited continues as well as a two-player simultaneous mode. © Copyright 2005 The Video Game Critic.

This one-on-one 2D fighter is not particularly bad in any way, but it doesn't have much to offer either. Each character originates from a different planet, and some of these fighters look awfully cheesy. You get a Flash Gordon-like "space adventurer", a huge green cat/reptile alien, a streetwise black guy, a ninja, a robot, and a girl with big ears and bigger breasts (bouncing no less). The character selection screen looks pathetic, especially with those horribly pixilated planets in the background. The fights themselves are not too shabby, and good technique certainly plays a role in your success. The camera zooms in and out as needed, but the fighters tend to be small. Only three buttons are used (not counting the worthless "taunt" button), but some of the move combinations are quite complex. Fortunately, a useful "command mode" is included which allows you map sophisticated controller movements to single buttons. Call it cheating if you want, but it lets you to witness some killer attacks and makes the game a heck of a lot easier. The backgrounds are science fiction-inspired planets, but nothing particularly memorable. Ironically, the most interesting stage is the "downtown" area, which could easily fit into any fighting game. Galaxy Fight does excel in terms of audio. The voice samples are clear, and the crisp sound effects definitely caught my attention. The robot sounds particularly impressive as he clanks around and employs various mechanical contraptions. The music is unusually good and occasionally outstanding. Galaxy Fight doesn't make a great first impression, but if you stick with it, you may find it to be worth your while © Copyright 2004 The Video Game Critic.

The Saturn can handle arcade titles with scaling sprites like a boss, and Galaxy Force II is proof. In this third-person shooter you deploy heat-seeking missiles while navigating harrowing planetary environments and well-fortified tunnels. I wasn't thrilled with the Genesis version of the game but this arcade-perfect edition won me over. The graphics are extremely sharp and the scaling is fluid. Your rapid-fire cannon is practically useless but the swarms of missiles you unleash are absolutely devastating. I feels so good to lock onto six targets and knock them all out with one press of a button. The explosions look great, and the sound of chain-reactions is especially satisfying. In addition to formations of ships you'll blast space freighters, flaming lava monsters, and hopping spider creatures. Enemy ships sometimes approach from the rear, so be sure to get out of their way. The first of the six selectable (!) stages takes place in space, but the others are set on diverse planetary environments (fire, water, desert, etc). The tunnel sections are far more impressive than the Genesis game because you gradually approach them from a distance. The only thing I don't get about this game is how the energy works. The game abruptly ends when it's depleted, but it's not clear how it's replenished. Even so, it's great to finally enjoy Galaxy Force 2 the way it was meant to be played. It's a shame this release was limited to Japan, especially considering the text (and voices!) are in English. I especially like the music with its appealing jazzy quality. Suffice to say, if you liked any other versions of Galaxy Force you will absolutely flip over this one. Note: A Gameshark or Action Replay device is required to play imports on North American consoles. © Copyright 2014 The Video Game Critic.

Finally - a game that lives up to its name! If you enjoy Japanese imports don't let Game Tengoku: The Game Paradise pass you by. This wacky, over-the-top vertical shooter never really had a chance in the states due to our "western sensibilities". It feels like a parody of every shooter dating all the way back to Space Invaders (Atari 2600, 1980). You can control a traditional ship like a plane or mech, or opt to be farting pig or flying girl! You're equipped with two satellite cannons and a supply of bombs. The opening stage takes place over a sea of arcade cabinets. I could make out Street Fighter II and Mortal Kombat, along with a few Jaleco titles. Stage two pits you against the cute, furry contents of claw machines. Some of the backgrounds have an amazing photo-realistic appearance. Stage three really turns up the heat as you battle traditional spacecraft that bum-rush your ship when they aren't pelting you with waves of projectiles. At this point I was forced to use my bombs strictly as defensive measures. Later levels feel like homages to the classics, letting you blast through race cars, pixelated alien armadas, and even the rainbow wall from Breakout (Atari 2600, 7800). The Game Paradise is fun but wildly uneven. Enemies can converge on you in a hurry, and even materialize on top of you. The two-player mode is just insane. Icons shaped like little satellite dishes offer multiplying bonuses, and sometimes you can inflate your score by plowing through a whole glut of them. Endless continues allow you to enjoy the copious eye candy, but it keeps the tension low. The audio didn't make much of an impression, save for the gleeful (and super loud) voices of Japanese girls. Irrististibly silly and addictive to boot, The Game Paradise is the place to be for classic game lovers. © Copyright 2018 The Video Game Critic.

When Saturn fans laud their system (or defend it, as is often the case), Guardian Heroes is sometimes mentioned as one of the system's hidden gems. It's a pretty rare title, but if you haven't been able to track down a copy, don't lose any sleep over it. The game offers a few original concepts but none of them work very well. The game begins with a lengthy anime intro, and I have to admit it got me pretty psyched up! In the first scene, three warriors have discovered an mystical sword in a hidden room. There's a lot of text to wade through, giving the game an RPG vibe. Once the action kicks in, you're fighting guards in the middle of a medieval town. You view the battle from a side angle, and the shoulder buttons allow your character to move between several "planes". The scaling is smooth enough, but since foes come in a variety of sizes, it's can be hard to determine who you're "lined up" with. Worse yet, there are often so many combatants that the screen gets cluttered. Your warrior and his allies typically face groups of six enemies at a time. With a multi-tap, up to six players can join the fray, but I suspect the clutter and slow-down would be unbearable. The moves include a defensive pose, jump, normal attack, and power attack. You can also give "orders" to an undead "golden warrior" who does your bidding. When you tell him to "go berzerk", it's like detonating a smart bomb! The graphics in Guardian Heroes are very good, with "painted" backgrounds that depict townships, graveyards, and castle interiors in exquisite detail. The characters are rendered in an anime style which slightly clashes with the backgrounds. Characters become pixelated when on the "close" plane, and grainy when on the "far" plane. In addition to armored guards and skeletons, you'll also face oversized robots that unleash powerful laser beams. That's weird. Branching paths add to the game's replayability, and your progress is saved automatically. I've heard Guardian Heroes compared to Streets of Rage, but it's nowhere near as fun or playable. I was totally baffled by the story and dialogue, and found the audio to be somewhat irritating and sometimes inappropriate. When I'm fighting skeletons in a graveyard, why am I listening to a jazzy number with a saxophone? Is this the apocalypse or happy hour? The voice samples are repetitive as hell, and it sounds like one character is yelling "bee-yatch!" whenever he performs a power attack. I like how how the instructions make frequent references to "see page xx", but someone forgot to fill in the page numbers - whoops! Guardian Heroes is definitely a Saturn original, but it's hardly worth breaking your piggy bank for. © Copyright 2009 The Video Game Critic.

Here's an unusual air combat game that most people will probably hate. I was secretly hoping that Heir of Zendor was a 2D shooter, but it's actually a rather sloppy turn-based strategy game (ugh!) The gameplay involves deploying and directing squadrons of planes against invading enemy aircraft. What's peculiar about Zendor is how you maneuver your planes as if they were mere tokens on a board. The 2D graphics don't exactly flaunt the Saturn's hardware capabilities. Although the battles are supposed to take place in the air, the planes have black shadows directly beneath them, making it look like they're sitting on a table cloth. Their animation is slow and jerky, and the action takes place entirely on a 2D plane. As an unfortunate side effect, aircraft tend to bump into and rub against each other as your guide them into position. Heir of Zendor could have been a complete disaster, but it's not a total loss. Each type of aircraft you deploy has its own attributes such as size, speed, and weapon range, and winning battles requires a heavy dose of strategy. The game is pretty easy to learn and there are minimal lulls in the action, thanks to a streamlined menu interface. Elegant orchestrated music plays in the background during the battles, and it's genuinely satisfying when you knock out your last enemy. As you might expect, the battles are sandwiched by obligatory cut scenes and excessive dialogue. The epic background story tells the tale of a colonized planet and ancient technologies discovered and resurrected. The dialogue is far too philosophical, with boring diatribes about God, technology, and mankind. These grandiose cut-scenes stand in stark contrast to the simple, pixilated game graphics, and the disparity is almost comical. But despite its pretentious trappings and mediocre programming, Heir of Zendor's gameplay did manage to hold my attention for a while. Gamers who prefer strategy over action may find this mildly amusing if you can pick it up cheap. © Copyright 2005 The Video Game Critic.

Beginning with Doom (1993), there was a steady stream of first-person shooters (FPS) released, each of which slightly outdid its predecessor in terms of graphics. I would frequently visit my friend Steve's house in those days, and he always had the latest-and-greatest FPS running on his turbo-charged PC. Hexen sticks out in my mind because Steve made a big deal about the orange leaves falling from the trees. I also recall how melee played a major role in combat. Revisiting Hexen on the Saturn brought back a few memories, but this version clearly pales to the original. You begin by selecting between a warrior, cleric, or mage character. You're then thrust into a dark, hellish world with dimly lit, multi-tiered medieval fortresses. I love those stained-glass windows which sound amazing when you shatter them. Monsters you'll face include centaurs, flaming birds, serpent warriors, and two-headed guards. The melee style of combat requires you to move in to inflict a blow, and then quickly back up. Timing is key. The control scheme is a bit complicated, but that's understandable considering Hexen's PC origins. You'll need to memorize a lot of button combinations - Z and C to bring up the map for example. The graphics are not nearly as crisp or vibrant as I remember. In fact, the scenery looks so dark and muddled that I had a hard time making out those falling leaves! You'll need to constantly adjust the camera when walking up and down stairs, which is a pain. On the plus side, the game boasts a surreal orchestrated score that truly kicks ass. Hexen is moderately enjoyable once you get a feel for the controls, but the save system is atrocious! You need a whopping 3600 blocks to save your game, and that's just outrageous. A password option is also included, but it's very confusing and poorly implemented. Playing Hexen on the Saturn gave me the impression that I was playing a bad port of a good game. © Copyright 2009 The Video Game Critic.

I'm always on the hunt for arcade racers in the style of Ridge Racer (PS1, 1995) but my searches usually end in disappointment. High Velocity first grabbed my attention with its flashy graphics. The subtitle "Mountain Racing Challenge" is no joke. The harrowing tracks have steep, winding hills that run along the edge of cliffs. A bright city skyline lights up the horizon, and I had to pause the game just to get a good look. That town looks so amazing - too bad you never quite get there. Day tracks tend to have boring mountain scenery instead. The primary "king battle" mode is a series of one-on-one heats. The heat selection screen is a confusing checkerboard of squares, and I couldn't make much sense of it. Instead of selecting between a manual or auto transmission, you hold A while driving for manual acceleration and C for automatic. You can even switch back and forth. On the road the cars look boxy and the scenery is chunky, but at least the framerate is smooth. The steering could benefit from analog control, and the steering wheel only works marginally well. The brake will send you into a long slide, so sometimes it's best to just scrape the guardrails. There are three tracks, and you only race against a single opponent. The long laps aren't really a problem because there are only two of them. I find it funny how the indicator on the little map is the word "YOU". Some of the music cracks me up. Man (shouting): "Do that! Do that thing!" Woman (singing): "Yeeeeaaa yeaaah". Best times are recorded along with initials. High Velocity may be shallow, but it's just weird enough that Saturn racing fans might want to consider giving it a test drive. © Copyright 2019 The Video Game Critic.

When I first spotted that bright red sports car on the back of the Highway 2000 box, I had flashbacks of Ridge Racer. Could it be that Natsume hired the developers of that 1995 Playstation hit to produce a similar racer for the Saturn? Could be! And as a rabid Ridge Racer fan, I enjoyed the colorful, arcade-style of Highway 2000. You get a nifty behind-the-car view as you navigate tracks that wind through five urban environments. The textured road surfaces convey speed and the framerate remains steady. A few boxy buildings are sprinkled around the course but the bulk of the scenery is rendered via a digitized backdrop. It may sound cheesy but the layering technique is effective. On the Bay Side Highway, you really feel as if you're racing along the water's edge. The courses look good although they can't quite match the quality of the PS1 Ridge Racer titles. The tracks can be raced consecutively in a tournament format or individually in time trials. Before attempting the tournament I'd advise changing the difficulty to easy, because this game is crazy hard! The steering is very sensitive and unfortunately the analog control is not supported. By tapping the brake, you send your car into an extended fishtail, making it possible to maneuver through several tight turns in succession. If only the tracks weren't so damn narrow! Not only is it difficult to pass other cars, but bumping one pushes it further ahead of you! Highway 2000's musical score sounds like something from of an 80's action flick, and I actually like it! The worst aspect of the game is the two-player split-screen, which is best described as "pixel soup". It doesn't help that it forces you use the first-person view. As a single-player game however, Highway 2000 delivers substantial arcade racing thrills. © Copyright 2010 The Video Game Critic.

As the first in a series of zombie-shooting light gun titles, House of the Dead delivers brain-splattering mayhem with branching routes and some of the worst dialogue ever recorded for a video game. Panned by critics when first released on the Saturn, House of the Dead is rough around the edges (literally) but easy to get into. As you are automatically guided around a huge mansion, all sorts of ugly ghouls pop up at every turn. The shooting is pretty much non-stop as the green blood flies and heads get blown off with extreme prejudice. You fire off-screen to reload, and it seems you need to almost constantly. Shooting boxes and barrels reveal health and power-ups, but they're usually only visible for a split second. The character models are chunky as hell, but it's the sloppy, pixilated scenery with unsightly seams and clipping problems (objects that don't overlap correctly) that make this game look so ugly. The degree of pixelation is alarming, and some of the chunky trees would look more at home in an Atari 2600 game! Considering it came out late in the system's lifecycle, you'd expect Sega to have done a better job. The graphics don't matter so much now, but when the Saturn was going head-to-head with the Playstation, a title like this could only hasten a system's demise. The accuracy of the gun is very good (no need to calibrate), but hardly precise enough to target the tiny weak spots on some of the bosses. Despite its flaws, I enjoy playing House of the Dead, especially since the changing paths make each play-through slightly different. After plowing through your limited continues you enter your initials on a high score screen (which is saved). House of the Dead has its share of issues, but if you can look past its rough exterior you're in for some good 'ole Halloween fun. © Copyright 2011 The Video Game Critic.

This stylish platform shooter conveys a moody, jazzy atmosphere not unlike Mr. Bones (Saturn, 1996). Johnny Bazookatone is a guitar-playing musician with a purple bouffant hairdo (Elvis style). His guitar can rapidly fire unseen bullets in any direction, and shooting downward propels him through the air. The dark, mysterious stages are rendered with plush, realistic textures, and locations include a penitentiary, hotel, restaurant, and hospital. It shouldn't be hard to make a decent 2D platformer for the Saturn, but Johnny Bazookatone will have you believing otherwise! These stage designs are awful! There are green thorns (fatal to touch) all over the place and deadly pits hidden from view. You tend to get killed by things you assume are part of the background scenery. Mushrooms turn from helpful green to poisonous red for no apparent reason. In one stage I entered a door but after waiting a long time for the game to load, I was told, "you can't go there". What the hell? The collision detection is atrocious; sometimes you can jump on a mushroom, and sometimes you can't. The clay-mation skeletons look pretty neat, but I hate how they tend to spring up from right under your feet. The small enemies can be hard to make out. Was I just attacked by a floating candle? Lose a life and you have to restart the entire stage, which is bogus. Johnny's firepower is weak, and the charge attack is useless because it takes forever to power up. And don't even get me started with those slow-motion underwater stages. Blues music plays throughout Johnny Bazookatone, and it's appropriate considering how sad this game will make you feel. © Copyright 2013 The Video Game Critic.