Atari XEGS Reviews Q-Z

I don't know what's more remarkable: the fact that somebody made an Incredible Hulk text adventure, or the fact that my friends actually agreed to play the God-forsaken thing! But we did indeed put this through its paces. Steve was hunched over the XEGS keyboard with its outstretched one-and-a-half foot long cord. Scott was tapping away on my laptop desperately searching for some kind of FAQ. I was kicking back with a beer, amused. For those too young to remember the early days of the home computers, a popular style of game in the early 80's were "text adventures". These allowed you to type in simple two-word commands (Ex. GET HAMMER, PRESS BUTTON), and then read about what happened via text. More often than not, the computer would respond with "I don't know how to do that" or "You can't do that now". It was really easy to get stuck! At least this game presents you with colorful, comic-book style illustrations between commands. I was hoping to see Hulk kick some ass, but the object of the game is to collect gems. You begin as Bruce Banner tied to a chair in an empty room, which is a pretty helpless predicament (hint: shake). Once freed, you can explore two sparse rooms, and if the Internet is any indication, few people ever got further than that. I could forgive Hulk's trial and error gameplay if the game made any sense, but it does not. The first time you step outside you're instantly crushed by gravity. Come again? Later, in order to obtain a hidden gem you need to dig a hole, and then dig again. And who in their right mind would ever think of lifting a huge dome to uncover another gem? The Incredible Hulk is as bad as the movie - and I'm talking about that Ang Lee version. It's that bad! My friends decided to finally call it quits after Hulk got defeated by ants. Yes, ants. By that point the only command we wanted to type was "FORMAT DISK". © Copyright 2011 The Video Game Critic.

In 1984 Spy Vs. Spy was a showcase title for the Atari computers, boasting cartoon-quality graphics, wacky animations, and an innovative split-screen. Who would have guessed a silly Mad Magazine cartoon strip could translate into such a sophisticated video game? The gameplay is surprisingly rich despite employing just a single button. Both spies - one black and one white - move around the same maze of rooms, searching furniture for objects and planting booby traps along the way. Traps include bombs, springs, and electrified water buckets you set up over doorways. Certain objects you come across will disable traps like umbrellas and pliers, but since you can only carry one item at a time you never hold anything for long. The audio/visual prowess of Spy Vs. Spy is remarkable. Its colorful rooms are pure eye candy and once that looping music gets into your head, you can't get it out. But while the gameplay is highly original it's also rather difficult and confusing. Although it's possible to keep an eye on your opponent, it's not really practical. Once your paths will cross a quick brawl ensues, usually sending the loser to heaven in angelic form. The spy who collects four special items in a suitcase can escape, triggering a neat ending sequence of him flying off in a rickety airplane. Rooting through furniture and checking behind pictures is easy enough, but since there's only one button you're constantly dropping items by accident. It's also very easy to trigger your own traps. Although generally smooth there are frequent framerate drops - something I would have never even noticed in the old days. Worst of all, your opponent can wait for you at the exit door, beat you up, and win the game after you did most of the work! Spy Vs Spy remains technically impressive, but one might argue it was always more fun to watch than to play. © Copyright 2019 The Video Game Critic.

This is one of those easy games that's great for a quick contest against a friend. Star League's title screen plays a jaunty little tune, and each game begins with an abbreviated version of the national anthem. The stadium graphics look pretty sweet with a nicely-manicured field, well-defined fence, and even a 3D dugout (empty, but still). The players are small and single-colored, but highly detailed and smoothly animated. Each player selects from two starting pitchers: "Curves" Cassidy and "Heat" Muldoon. You also need to choose between a "liners" and "sluggers" line-up, although I would prefer a "balanced" option. The intuitive, responsive controls give Star League an arcade flavor. Moving the joystick in the four directions lets you throw basic pitches, but things get interesting when you use diagonals to throw combinations of pitches! You can swing with a press of a button, and I absolutely love the sound of the crack of the bat. Hitting the ball can be a challenge. It's hard to lay off the low pitch, and I can't hit Muldoon's fastball to save my life! When the ball is put into play, you control the nearest fielder, but the infielders often don't even flinch as ground balls roll through. The player on offense controls the lead runner, and once you get a feel for running the bases, you can really toy with (and piss off) your friend. Good luck tricking the CPU, which is remarkably adept at holding the runners on. The game has a few shortcomings. You have the option of bringing in a knuckleball reliever, but only at the top of the eighth inning. Outfielders sometimes throw out runners headed to first base, which is not very realistic. It's hard to reach second base even after hitting the ball into a gap, and runners don't slide. The controls for getting situated on the mound require a lot of extraneous button tapping. The game does have some nice bells and whistles, like a scoreboard shown between innings that displays paid attendance, an ad for a "Dutch Dougan" video game, and other scores from around the league. Star League Baseball isn't particularly deep but it hits the spot if you're looking for some simple fun. © Copyright 2014 The Video Game Critic.

You may find it hard to get excited about hitting a ball against a wall of colored bricks but once you start playing Super Breakout something just clicks. I love games that use paddle controllers - so smooth and precise! The action takes a while to ramp up as the ball initially moves slowly and is hard to miss. You gradually chip away at one side but once that ball gets stuck in the top area it feels like you've hit the freaking jackpot. The game goes nuts and your points tally so fast the display can't even keep up. Two things make Breakout a challenge. When the ball hits an upper layer of bricks it starts moving twice as fast, and when the ball hits the "ceiling" your paddle becomes a lot smaller. When both of these conditions occur you're basically hanging on for dear life. The first variation is your standard breakout - one ball and one paddle. The second is progressive, where a series of walls gradually marches down the screen. This variation is the most unpredictable, as you might have as many as four walls bearing down on you. The third variation is called double, which provides you with two balls and two paddles. You'd be surprised how hard it is to keep them both in play. The last mode is called cavity. This time you begin with two paddles and one ball but two additional balls are bouncing around inside the wall. Release those and in theory you could have three going at once. In reality it's nearly impossible to keep three balls in play for more than a few seconds. After each game your score is displayed along with an evaluation like "fair" or "ace". I like this version of Super Breakout better than the Atari 2600 game. The controls feel smoother and the ball bounces at sharper angles. It may lack the futuristic sounds but a game like Super Breakout doesn't need any razzle dazzle to be fun. Note: Pressing shift + control + I reveals an Easter Egg. © Copyright 2020 The Video Game Critic.

You might be wondering how this Olympic-style title compares to Epyx's iconic Winter Games (1985). Would you believe Winter Games was never even released for the Atari 8-bit machines? I guess that left the door wide-open for clones like this one. Winter Challenge is spread over four sides of two floppy disks. Needless to say, there's a heck of a lot of disk-swapping and loading required to play this. After the obligatory opening "torch" screen you're prompted to enter the names for up to six players. You also have the option of selecting which of the five events you'd like to participate in. It's a great feature, because there's a good chance you'll hate at least one of them. You begin with downhill skiing which employs a behind-the-back view as you weave through trees and hop over logs. The controls are intuitive but the scaling is rough, and during jumps it looks like you're barely lifting your feet! The key to the second event, ski jump, is to keep your skis parallel in the air so you can nail the landing. Your skier looks like a blue yeti, but I love the view of the trees and snowy village below. The biathlon event makes you wiggle the joystick to cross-country ski between screens, stopping periodically to shoot targets by guiding a wavering crosshair. The scenery really steals the show with spectacular mountain peaks, bridges over tranquil streams, and gorgeous lake views. Be sure to take your time during the shooting phases, because the penalties for missed shots are severe. The next event, slalom, is tough for novices because it moves so fast. Even if you can avoid crashing into a wall, it's hard to tell what side of the flags you're supposed to be on! I guess that's what the "retry" option is for! Like most events, slalom is fun once you get the hang of it. That can't be said for the final event however. Bobsled is positively yawn-inducing! The course feels like it's 600 miles long, and just the thought of running three heats is nauseating! There's no closing ceremony to conclude the games, just a simple medal standings display. Winter Challenge could have used more polish, but it does live up to its name, and its nicely illustrated scenery gives the game added appeal. © Copyright 2014 The Video Game Critic.

Few 8-bit shooters deliver the rapid-fire mayhem and wanton destruction of Zeppelin. You control a blimp that can fire in eight directions. The screen scrolls automatically as you slowly wind through maze-like caverns, blasting barriers, airships, and balloons. You can blow up just about everything in sight. See those quaint houses protected by force fields? You can obliterate them for points! The caverns are rendered in lovely fluorescent colors and the background noise of grinding gears is really cool. As icing on the cake, the carnage is punctuated by satisfying, high-resolution explosions. The default novice level begins with the message "entering stage 7". Wait, what? Oh I see - these stages count down instead of up! Maneuvering your blimp takes some practice. You can influence which way the screen scrolls if you position it correctly. Shooting switches will toggle traps on and off, so if you find yourself in the clear, leave those switches alone! You can only fire in one direction at a time, and I had some trouble hitting the diagonals. The touchy controls make it tough to navigate some narrow passages and the collision detection doesn't do you any favors. After crashing into something the game pauses momentarily so you can reposition your ship. If you're not paying attention you can lose two or three ships in a row! To gain access to certain parts of the cave you'll need to collect and deposit giant keys and hamburgers (yes, hamburgers). Your beat each stage by placing TNT into a particular box. It's nerve-wracking when you're on your last ship lugging that TNT around. As if the game wasn't challenging enough, earthquakes shake the screen and rubble rains down. When the second stage begins this game absolutely loses its mind. Now you're speeding through caves packed with flying objects and earthquakes going off non-stop. The stage designs become repetitive after a while, but you have to love Zeppelin's brand of arcade-quality shooting fun. © Copyright 2016 The Video Game Critic.